Viewing 31 posts - 1 through 31 (of 31 total)
  • Leaving partner and child
  • philxx1975
    Member

    Should I feel a right b****** or is it normal to just feel nothing?

    Premier Icon scotroutes
    Subscriber

    Your child?

    philxx1975
    Member

    Yes

    Premier Icon Poopscoop
    Subscriber

    As in for a ride/ work or permanently?!

    philxx1975
    Member

    As in selling the bike to afford a chance of actually having a roof when I do it for a month.

    Premier Icon scotroutes
    Subscriber

    Is this the child??

    Depends on why you feel nothing.

    philxx1975
    Member

    No longer hair

    Premier Icon scotroutes
    Subscriber

    philxx1975
    Member

    No but well done for making light of it.

    Premier Icon Poopscoop
    Subscriber

    For some people, it’s normal. Yes.

    Just your mind way of handling it.

    I did similar many years ago.

    My lads now 18 and I have a fantastic relationship with him.

    I was there for him all through his childhood. Had to go through the courts twice just to be able to see him.

    Hardest thing I’ve ever done.

    One day at a time mate.

    Premier Icon DickBarton
    Subscriber

    Leaving for work as you have a job needing done and you’ll be back in a few weeks or leaving as in there is no love or partnership any longer and you can’t go on living the lie?

    You’ll feel it soon enough, just how folk handle certain things. I dont get particularly bothered by deaths, doesn’t mean I dont care…

    Is it wrong that the troll with the pink hair has a remarkably similar expression to my 5 month old son

    philxx1975
    Member

    you can’t go on living the lie?

    Kind of insidiously sneaked up on me, but thats pretty much Nail/Head

    Premier Icon dogmatix
    Subscriber

    Do you really not feel any emotion about leaving your child?

    gears_suck
    Member

    If someone on here told you you were wrong to feel nothing would you be able to feel any different? Trying to asses the validity of your feelings based on comments on a cycling forum??
    I ain’t trying to be funny mate, but it’s questionable therapy. Go see someone who can actually help you. And good luck. I hope you get yourself sorted.

    loddrik
    Member

    Is she hot?

    It’s not like you have been a complete judgemental bellend about others on various threads here in the past few days is it?….

    If you are not a troll, or pissed, you either need serious help, or should really think about who you are aged 40.

    Those of us who have been through the experiences you mention will struggle to understand how you could not feel something. So I hope you do. Be human.

    If your posts of the last few days are anything to go by, something is getting to you. You may not realise it. Use those feelings for something that means something, not Audi drivers, Bradford Students or Junior Drs. You do feel something.

    Good luck

    aracer
    Member

    stoatsbrother wrote:

    It’s not like you have been a complete judgemental bellend about others on various threads here in the past few days is it?….

    I’ve not kept up with his recent posts, but suspect I sometimes come across as a bellend on here as I sometimes use the forum as a place to vent my angst, being in a similar position to the one he’s leaving. Something to consider before judging him for that.

    I’d be surprised if I felt nothing about leaving my kids – mainly the thought of missing them which keeps me here – but then I doubt he doesn’t really either. I certainly have defence mechanisms which involve suppressing my emotions.

    Sometimes? 😀

    aracer
    Member

    Don’t spoil my illusion of having occasional brief periods of being lovable.

    Actually…sorry. I appreciate from various oblique references that you’re struggling with some issues and I didn’t mean to make light of yours or the OP’s situation. I was just taking the pish and didn’t mean anything by it.

    Aracer. That’s kind of the point I’m making. He’s been hosing anger at passers-by rather than accepting and dealing with his emotions… At least I hope. He might actually be a total bellend though. They do exist.
    If he is hurting he needs to acknowledge it.

    aracer
    Member

    No apology needed – I got the taking the pish, and didn’t make it clear enough that I was laughing as I wrote my reply.

    Premier Icon jamj1974
    Subscriber

    Phil, you are probably not a right bastard. It’s a realisation that you may be finding hard to deal with and as a result are a bit numb perhaps. Give it time and be as considerate as you would want your other half to be if the positions were reversed. Time will likely make things clear.

    Good luck.

    Premier Icon gordimhor
    Subscriber

    From others posts about you OP I suspect you are feeling things about leaving your child. I certainly did when I was in the same situation I didn’t project anger but sat behind a wall of silence for months so was an enormous strain and worry to those who tried to help me as they got literally no response from me. However one day at a time things did get better and I owe an enormous debt to the folk who stuck with me. Good luck.

    Junkyard
    Member

    her no
    Kids yes

    We are all different and I guess it depends how bad it is

    Remember you are leaving her NOT the child and you only get one chance to not be an arsehole to an innocent caught in the middle

    No one will be helped by growing up with an absent father who did not love them.

    yunki
    Member

    When I split up with my kids mum, there was no way on earth that anyone was going anywhere again ever until I had signed, witnessed legal documents granting me half custody..

    Best thing for everyone, especially the kids..

    The kids come first, whatever is best for the kid comes top of the priority list.. The poor life choices of the parents should never be the kids burden..
    And I would also recommend putting your differences aside and raising the child to respect both of it’s parents.. Slagging off ex partners instead of trying to focus on the good points is a **** crap bit of life coaching for a little ‘un..

    If you’re big enough to fill a pram, you’re big enough to raise the contents responsibly

    ti_pin_man
    Member

    junkyard +1

    if its your child, do not run away from them, set up and keep to regular access and then you can help bring them up. I took my ex to court to do this. 9 years later I have a wonderful relationship with my daughter and see her a lot. Do this.

    MrNice
    Member

    feeling numb doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an uncaring bastard. It can be a coping mechanism. Try to do the right thing by other people and yourself and watch out for the emotions biting you in the arse further down the line.

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