Viewing 37 posts - 1 through 37 (of 37 total)
  • Lavatory Lottery
  • slowoldman
    Full Member

    When you lift the lid at work!

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Flush before you lift the lid?

    No one wants to win the Chunderball.

    hairylegs
    Free Member

    Never use one with the lid closed …it’s always a sign that there might be something lurking!

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middling Edition

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middlin...
    Latest Singletrack Videos
    BillMC
    Full Member

    Number 1 and number 2

    rOcKeTdOg
    Full Member

    Harry!

    munkster
    Free Member

    bigjim
    Full Member

    My current office has the worst I’ve ever experienced in factories, farms or anywhere. There’s been a lump of poo at head height on the wall and frequently liquids, solids and blood all over the pan, seat and floor. Can’t understand it!

    Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    Harry!

    Yis?

    Gary_M
    Free Member

    If the lids down the flush first, then open tentatively. Common sense surely.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    Never use one with the lid closed …it’s always a sign that there might be something lurking!

    Or it’s still pine fresh from last night’s cleaners, and thus a prime candidate for immediate desecration by defecation.

    A 9am lid-closed situation is an entirely different proposition to a 4pm one.

    Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    Nobody wants to see a “Dead Mole”.

    cranberry
    Free Member

    It can get worse than that. We have some contractors in from the Indian sub-continent – standing on the seat is one thing, but you should do that only if you are prepared to clean the toilet afterwards AND you have good enough aim not to shit on the seat.

    I opened the lid after that one, less than impressed.

    hot_fiat
    Full Member

    I used to hate working banks in central London with trading floors. The traders were disgusting & never used to flush the bogs (too busy, beneath them?). One place I was at had double cisterns so the traders didn’t have to wait for the empty cistern to fill up & they could get back to the phones.

    newrobdob
    Free Member

    Aaah the joy of a freshly cleansed porcelain throne, any traces of “basking sharks” long since flushed and scrubbed away. Mmmm

    colp
    Full Member

    perchypanther – Member
    Flush before you lift the lid?

    No one wants to win the Chunderball.

    Living on the edge mate, what if the last person dropped off the motherload and backed that sucker right up?

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    Living on the edge mate, what if the last person dropped off the motherload and backed that sucker right up?

    We had a handy man come round in halls after inconsiderate arsehole flatmate blocked the lav. We told him it was blicked. You could see it was blicked. You could smell it was blicked. He STILL flushed it. Three grown adults attempting to evacuate a small cubicle as one as the floaters started to drop off the edge.

    willard
    Full Member

    Even with that, there are risks… Think of the horror of sitting down to feel the warm embrace of ‘the hotseat’ instead of the cool freshness of a long unused trap.

    Nobeerinthefridge
    Free Member

    Nothing worse than a walking into the office loo on a monday morning, and being passed by a 20 stone scaffolder, not knowing which trap the big smelly bastard has come from.

    Then ye sit down, and the seats warm….. 😯

    slowoldman
    Full Member

    OK now I know. First thing in the morning or wait until I get home.

    onandon
    Free Member

    Always open lid with foot. ALWAYS

    Gary_M
    Free Member

    We had a handy man come round in halls after inconsiderate arsehole flatmate blocked the lav.

    Should probably rearrange that slightly 🙂

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    Pretty sure he had IBS or chrohns

    So standby his arsehole being inconsiderate

    devash
    Free Member

    If you smell gas, don’t plonk your ass.

    Bunnyhop
    Full Member

    joshvegas – I am crying with laughter 😆

    nicko74
    Full Member

    Just one of the many benefits of working from home. See also the inexplicable joy of the naked dump; also many hours spent seeing what fresh joy STW can produce.

    BigEaredBiker
    Free Member

    We have some contractors in from the Indian sub-continent

    I’ve worked in UK offices that have stickman instructions in the cubicles explaining how to sit on the toilet correct because of this.

    At one place mysterious beakers of water would be left in the cubicle, apparently people from some parts of the work somehow use that as part of their post-poo-cleaning routine…

    thisisnotaspoon
    Free Member

    At one place mysterious beakers of water would be left in the cubicle, apparently people from some parts of the work somehow use that as part of their post-poo-cleaning routine…

    Most muslims.

    Makes perfect sense, a bit of poor quality paper doesn’t really clean does it? In my old job they had a shower head to do the job!

    They may not like bacon sandwiches or beer, but the bum hygiene arrangements are far superior to the west.

    leffeboy
    Full Member

    In my old job they had a shower head to do the job

    got to agree. The shower head is awesome. I fancy one of those loos with built in shower but they are pricey

    colp
    Full Member

    The shower head is awesome. I fancy one of those loos with built in shower but they are pricey

    Yeah, we just got a bog standard one instead.

    DickBarton
    Full Member

    When do you use the shower? Do you remain seated? How do you dry everything?

    Asking as I’m out the country and the facilities have a shower so I might give it a bash, but needed some guidance so I’m not leaving the cubicle like I’m going for a wet t-shirt contest!

    parkesie
    Free Member

    It’s all about king of the hill.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    Yeah, we just got a bog standard one instead.

    Oh, very good.

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    DickBarton – Member
    Asking as I’m out the country and the facilities have a shower so I might give it a bash,

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    @DickBarton – it’s that humid where you are, everyone else is wearing a wet tshirt, so shower away…

    shifter
    Free Member

    Yeah, the manual application of water to the starfish is FAR superior! 😆

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    To paraphrase early National Lottery marketing…..

    It could be poo!

    daviek
    Full Member

    I work offshore and some of the states you see the toilets in are shocking! theres even been the odd occasion where some Muppet has had a dump in the communal showers.

    A few years ago there was also the toilets where the sink looks like a urinal (big stainless steal trough) apart from the obvious bloody taps and soap above it. Youd be washing your hands only for some … i cant even think on a description for them …. try and have a piss in the sink!

Viewing 37 posts - 1 through 37 (of 37 total)

The topic ‘Lavatory Lottery’ is closed to new replies.