…and I have no job to go to. My mental health has deteriorated to an extent where I could no longer tolerate it.

I was (am for the next 3 months notice) a principal engineer working in Civil engineering and it was just relentless and badly mismanaged from an integration and system basis. Nobody wants to or knows how to fix things even when I facilitated.

I’ve picked up a Friday gardening job at a local restaurant but other than that have no **** idea what to do. Will prob pick up a local superstore job for money in the sort term but need to get ready for squeaky bum time on the finances.

might have to sell a bike or two.

Well done, mental health is so important. I’m in a crappy job at the moment which I’m really not enjoying, taken after being made redundant from a great job, and can’t wait to hand my notice in.
Unfortunately I can’t just stop working here from a bill-paying point of view so I’m just looking and looking and hoping something better comes up.

I hope everything works out for you.

If your mental health is that bad ( and I do not disbelieve you and congratulate you for taking this step) can you not get signed off sick? Might have been better than resigning?

Depends of course on your contract and sick pay entitlement but I hope you do not step over the threshold of that toxic workplace again

Hold on to one bike. I did what you did and sold them all. Can I afford to get one back now, nope.

On a plus side i retrained, got a new job, have a work life balance and enjoy working and living again. You’ve taken the first step to that so well done.

The rest will fall into place. Enjoy a bit of stress free living, and use this place to vent when you need to.

You’ll adapt in the short term and probably thrive in the long term. Your health mental and physical are more important than pretty much anything else. When the dust settles, you’ve had time to take it all in and have a proper think about what you want without the stress of your current situation, new opportunities will open up. Well done for taking the first brave step, good luck!

First up, well done for putting yourself first and handing your notice in to an employer who clearly didn’t value you.

Mental health  >  Career

Whilst not quite the same, but I was fired (scape-goated) some years ago from a job in which I was bullied daily. During my tenure there must’ve been at least 5 times where I was on the brink of resigning. It played havoc with my mental health. Having my hand forced for me was the best thing that ever happened. I wish I’d left sooner.

Now that you’re on notice, stop giving more f*cks than is necessary. Just do your job the way that you know it should be done. And use your networks. You’ll be back at it again with an employer who respects you in no time.

And lastly, don’t forget that the best form of revenge is monumental success.

Well done on taking a decision to put yourself and your mental health above a job. Never doubt that you have done the right thing.

As for your next step, I am sure something will come along.

Went through similar very recently, quit my existing role (also engineering…) and moved to similar with a new employer in same industry.

A lot of the same stresses are still there, but simply by starting again with a clean slate (and finding a slightly less ‘sink or swim’ management style) I seem to be coping.

Get a good recruiter on side if you can, industry specific ideally. LinkedIn is your friend. I had more interviews than I knew how to cope with.

Of course, I would get out of the industry if I could but can’t afford the time or money to retrain.

Best of luck!

From personal experience, don’t assume that ditching the job will necessarily help your mental health. For me my job was an amplifier for underlying issues that I then had to deal with separately, but at least I had the capacity to do that once I turned down the noise from work.

Thanks all; in my soul I know its the right thing to do but its so hard to justify with all the other stressors. (Mortgage, Kids etc.)

But at the age of 43 I can’t sit by with another 30+ years to work…..I keep thinking what I could do with those years; what could I be with those years.

I don’t doubt its the right decision but shiiiiiit its scary.

Agree with all the above. I did the same a few years back, and I’m sorely tempted again now to be honest.

I know people who are resigning 20 year civil service careers – with all the security that entails – to pick up jobs in pubs, sandwich shops, garden maintenance to name just three, because they can’t face the organisational bollocks we endure day to day.

Good for you. You’ll feel better when you’re out.

Where are you based? Some of us on here know nice civil engineering firms.

My wife and I have both done the same in years gone by, both of us will tell you that whilst it was a tough decision, it was absolutely the right one.

My wife did a complete career change (teaching to the NHS) and is so, so much happier. I’m doing a similar job in an very different and more relaxed environment.

Both of us had a period of squeaky bum on finances and we probably earn 1/3 less than we did before but it’s not taken much effort to deal with that, mainly as we’ve heavily reassessed what’s important to us as part of the process.

Well done on taking the step.

I’ve done it a couple of times and felt better for it. Job market is pretty boyant at the moment so probably the best time.

Brave move, I hope you have good current financial standings as you won’t get any benefits as far as I’m aware, due to resigning.

As a short term thing while looking at skilled jobs, now is as good a time as any to apply for Royal Mail jobs, typically part time ~22-25 hours (either three days of ~7.5 hours starting by 0700, or five days of little more than delivery starting by 0930). You need to stand up for yourself though, workloads since the pandemic in terms of parcels have gone through the roof, overtime is voluntary and managers/colleagues are infamous for pressurising you to do more which leads to many not taking our paid meal relief.

This is all very familiar.

I walked out of a job 7 years ago after concluding that constantly banging my head against a brick wall on a daily basis was having a hugely negative impact on my mental health. Like you I had nothing to go to but both myself and my wife agreed that it had hit a tipping point where something had to give.

It was the best decision I ever made. I have literally never looked bak

View it as an opportunity to make changes to your life. Something that is really positive. I diversified what I was doing and have ended up making something I love (illustration) into a full time job.

Good luck with it all. You’ve made the right call

I was going to say what TJ said. I appreciate it’s a bit late now, but could you not have spoken to your GP and get signed off for a while? Come to that, seeing your doctor is probably a good idea anyway. They might be able to refer you to a counsellor or something.

I’ve been though significant stress and have been sign off previously. I’ve been working back up to full time working over the last year and have been to counselling for well over a year now.

This time its different. Its not straight depression or anxiety anymore (yes that’s still very much there) but now its about the anger than I’m still in the same place.

Another well done from me, companies will drop you in an instant if they need to so no need to give more shits that are truly necessary.  Good luck in getting to grip with the finances but it is surprising how much we overspend just to cope with a life which requires us to overwork to keep up with finances.

Fair enough. Just throwing ideas around.

For what it’s worth, I was in a very similar position, oh, 20 years ago. Oddly enough it was working for a civil engineering company. It made me ill both physically and mentally, I was leaving work (late) on a Friday thinking “christ, I’ve got to come back here on Monday.”

Eventually they sacked me on a load of trumped-up nonsense so they could give my job to someone cheaper. I should have been upset, but walking out of that shitty portacabin office for the final time was one of the happiest moments of my life.

I just can’t believe how stressful civil engineering is now; its relentless, constant emails, constant calls, constant criticism. The sad thing is I know so many others in the company are struggling too.

Royal Mail might be a good shout for a temporary job to bring money in. I’ve go three months to sort this out which takes me to the week before Xmas.

Going for a bike ride now…time to enjoy the sun.

Can you get HGV trained in the 3 months?

I was in a soul destroying job- but didn’t have the confidence to move. Covid forced my hand last year and ended up with a “better” job. Bit less pay, more hours but enjoying the work & get more thanks/appreciation for what I do than 7 years at the last place.

I will have a painting job coming up soon if you interested, 2 bed flat in London between lets so you can stay overnight. 3 to 4 days work, if you are interested I ‘ll keep you in mind.

If it helps, my neighbour was just made redundant from a shit job, now he’s got a new one within a month and he’s over the moon.

I resigned earlier this year after being signed off with stress for a while…
I don’t think I’ve ever regretted leaving a job, life is too short to stay miserable.
I think the last few years have made a lot of people reevaluate their priorities.
Good luck.

I don’t think it’s just civil engineering. Seems like lots of places are taking the opportunity to shit all over staff and then claim it’s due to covid and/or Brexit.

im in a similar position as a principal in an environmental consultancy. Hate is a strong word, but i hate my job. Im not sleeping well and dread coming to work. My girlfriend notes that i am a different person on the way to work, quiet, short and generally all consumed with what is to come. The stress also manifests itself as an upset stomach which starts almost as soon as i walk into the office. When im stressed, particularly at night, my brain goes to a default thought about how i can remove the stress and its dark. I don’t want this to get any worse.

something needs to change as i can only see this going downhill. Ive thought about doing what the OP has bravely done, but the unknowns and lack of any form of plan scares me.

When im stressed, particularly at night, my brain goes to a default thought about how i can remove the stress and its dark. I don’t want this to get any worse.

Please talk to a GP before it gets worse. I kept putting it off, didn’t want to admit defeat, didn’t want to go on meds, but after a few trips to work where I’d “jokingly” scoped out a multi storey car park before going into the office, things came to a head when I was so preoccupied with working escaping it I accidentally drove through a busy traffic light junction without noticing, miraculously wasn’t hit, then burst into tears when I realised what had nearly happened. Not for me, but for those I’d have left behind, or accidentally been involved in a mess of my causing.

Talk to someone, seek help. It will pass.

Please talk to a GP before it gets worse.

So much this. The worst that can happen is that you spend 10 minutes explaining “stuff” to someone and things become clearer for you. If you had back pain that was waking you up so often and causing you trouble on the way to work, would you have done something about it by now?

I thought it might be worth writing a little more about why I’m making the decision as there seems to be a lot of others under the same stress/situation. I do have a blog called mymentalgame on wordpress where I talk about it.

I’ve been under this pressure for so so long and I’ve changed jobs multiple times to see if other companies are better/worse and if anything I think it has a lot to do with the modern world and the ease of communication. Add to that the fact that technology has changed at such a rate but I don’t think working practices have been able to adjust. This leads to a lot of fire fighting and the inability of people to change anything.

I broke down in tears over a year ago after many many years of stress, depression and when I was at my worst my wife did consider leaving. She told me to see someone so I did and if anything I’m now a better communicator as I’m more used to talking and expressing my self.

I suspected that work was the issue with my mental health but it’s almost impossible to tell, yes I’m sure I more underlying issues but this is the reoccurring trigger.

I had 7 weeks sign off and then came back to work 3 days a week, it was hard to not feel guilty about pulling my weight and the 40% loss in salary was a trouble but manageable.

Even trough those 3 day working week the same trouble manifested themselves but I had more time to recover. I’ve recently gone up to 4 day working weeks and triggers have increased 10 fold. Mainly as I don’t see anyone else trying to make a change!

Over the last weeks my mental situation has been one of shear anger as the situation and the fact that ‘socially’ I should suck it up and carry on….I mean WTF…..no.

The analogy I spoke of yesterday with my counsellor was of a fast move corridor with exits on either side. The long corridor represented my current trajectory and the speed of movement meant that I couldn’t take an exit (you know mortgage, kids, self respect and all that).

This week is now about ‘No’ a change needs to happen and if I don’t do something now what am I really going to loose if I don’t just take a bloody chance.

I’ve just **** off Royal Mail after two years as a postie. Great job if you’re a leadswinger who regards sick pay as part of his/her holiday allowance – fist biting if you like competent management and getting the job done. Seniority, rather than hard work and competence, is king, meaning there will always be some time serving, bone idle relic of the 1970s given preference over you. The phrase ‘going postal’ probably exists for a reason. Moved to Wales yesterday, start job searching this week…

something needs to change as i can only see this going downhill. Ive thought about doing what the OP has bravely done, but the unknowns and lack of any form of plan scares me.

The absolute best time to find a new job is when you’re already in one.

OP, you make so many points I can agree with about communication and pace of change and no one keeping up or trying to do anything. I understand what you mean about the anger and frustration.

And the moving corridor is a great analogy too. Sometimes you have to hit the emergency stop button.

@Teenrat, I’ve pmd you.

Good on you. I’m in a different situation, where I’ve been offered a new job, and I’m so eager to start I’ll be giving only a couple of days notice rather than the week I’m supposed to give. (6 months service on the shop floor engineering) I hate my current job so much, undervalued and a terrible company, that a few weeks ago I just walked out, telling them I need a break for a few days and to use holiday entitlement if they were bothered.
I know legally I have to do a week, but I’m at the point I really don’t care, and will happily load my tools up and never set foot in the door again.

What part of the UK are you? There are so many vacancies about at the moment I would think you could choose your next move from a vast array of career options. See a recruitment agent let them know what you are interested in and see what they come up with.

@spot1978
the bullshit be multiplying – have a hug from me. Be lucky.

The phrase ‘going postal’ probably exists for a reason.

It does, but it’s not a pleasant one. It stems from a mass shooting in the US in the 80s.

Brave. Good onya.

A large part of me wants to do the same but kids/wife/mortgage.

Respect to you though. Sounds like it’s been a tough, but ultimately the right decision for you.

I thoroughly recommend a book called What Colo(u)r is Your Parachute as a way to identify where to go next. It comes across as a hideous self-help book, but I found it extremely useful, and both my wife and i have managed to career change after following all of the exercises.

I bailed from a consulting engineering company about 7 years ago. Luckily i’d lined up something in the meantime. But with a 1.5 hour commute each way and two little kids it was wearing thin. Then there was a bit of a problem with a client on a project that had some international scrutiny and i stupidly worked a 32 hour shift, and got no back up from my seniors.

The culture there was shocking. I can remember one senior manager being quite shaken once when a colleague collapsed under stress in the office … not the first one either.