Just been told one of my long term mates has cancer and has day to live : (

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  • Just been told one of my long term mates has cancer and has day to live : (
  • Johnboy373
    Member

    $hit mate I really sorry to hear this.

    TooTall
    Member

    At least you said something to him while he was alive. That means 1000000000 times more than anything after he has gone.

    Rochey
    Member

    He did say thanks for coming down, he really appreached it,

    It's only now hitting me knowing I will never see him again.

    😥
    😥

    ex-pat
    Member

    Damn tough on all concerned.
    Condolences, and hope all are able to remember the good shiat.

    megastream
    Member

    very sad, its a cruel world we live in

    Rochey
    Member

    O and he IS 35.

    Life can be really crap sometimes. I lost a friend before Christmas in a similar manner, he was just over 50.

    +1 to the fact that you went down to see him, I did the same with my friend. As you say, it's really hard knowing that you'll never speak with him again.

    Condolences all round

    Premier Icon clareymorris
    Subscriber

    Thank god you got to see him and to say goodbye………you have brought a tear to my eye this monring, and I'm sure to many others as we think about the friends we love.

    Rochey
    Member

    Got a phone call last night at about 19.30 from my mate wife (kind of out of the blue) and I could tell by the sound of her voice something was up, anyway after a bit of chit chat she throws me a curve ball a very BIG curve ball.

    Paul has cancer (that OK we can fight that I'm thinking), he has had it for about a year and he is in a home with days to go 🙁 and I wanted to let you know as I couldn't live with myself if I don't tell you.

    Paul and I live a long way away from each other 100 miles each way and we have a lond distance friendship but we have known each other for approx 25years or so, So on hearing this info I was straight in the car and went to see him, 2 hrs later I arrive and man that was HARD, not what I was expecting at all, (to be fair I don't know what I was expecting) but there he was lying on the bed with loads of drugs being pumped into he body, we did hava a good chat he he has come to terms with it, I was with him of approx one and a half hours and we chated about loads of stuff but then the drugs kicked but before he went to sleep we said goodbye to each other knowing we will never see each other again.

    I just wish he told me before but Paul being Paul he is too proud and didn't to tell me, silly sod.

    Anyway he will be leaving 2 boys and a wife.

    RIP PAUL.

    pennine
    Member

    A year ago, I walked in from work & found my wife in tears. My brother had died suddenly a couple of hours previously. Only in his fifties with a wife and two kids left behind. Can't express the feeling of numbness really. Be thankful you managed to see him beforehand.

    nickegg
    Member

    My wife and i are really sorry to hear about your friend.

    We have just lost a friend to cancer (my wives business partner). She was first diagnosed 4 years ago but died last week after a very rapid decline. Even knowing what was coming didn't help with the loss. My wife is particuarly upset. She worked with her every day when she was well enough to work.

    You said goodbye and that really is the main thing. This most recent loss to us is our third this year! We both lost a grandmother in January, saying goodbye to them really helped but it's still hard.

    Our thoughts are with you and your friends family.

    doglover
    Member

    good on you for going, not often you have that chance

    enfht
    Member

    Sorry about your news. Be thankful you saw him before he dies. My mate died on Saturday night and the first I knew was phone call on Sunday Morning. I'm in Wales this week burying my Gran who I didnt get to see before she died because of Norovirus quarantine at the hospital and she never got to see my newborn son. It's all very sad.

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    I'm really sad to read that. Thats awful for you. My best mate died of cancer when he was 25. I was devastated.

    He really really fought it, but he reached a tipping point. He must have just known. He got us all together and we went out for a meal. It was his way of saying goodbye i suppose. He was really weak but determined.

    After the that he nose-dived, didn't want any of us to see him and he was dead within days. Looking back, I'm glad we all had that final night together. Its good you got to see him

    Thinking of you all. Stay strong, and be there for his family. They'll need you!

    KT1973
    Member

    really sad. hope his family are ok. keep in touch with them

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    It's an awful thing but least you had the chance to say goodbye, remember the good times you had.

    Dino
    Member

    Sign of a true friend,
    A lot of so called friends these days would have just picked up the phone or not bothered at all.
    But you made an un-selfish gesture by going to see him as hard as it was seeing him ill.
    I feel for you, as i have to lost friends i grew up with at a young age.
    Looking back though, I now only remember the good times.

    Premier Icon ton
    Subscriber

    feel for you mate…chin up.

    don simon
    Member

    Very sad but you did the right thing.

    bjj.andy.w
    Member

    So sorry to hear.Keep strong fella.

    Premier Icon lowey
    Subscriber

    As said above, you got to say goodbye. Good on you mate, just treasure that and all the good memories. Condolences to his family.

    sofatester
    Member

    Stand tall and remember the good times.

    A MTFU Medal should be pinned on your chest for going to see him. A lesser friend would have just phoned or bottled it.

    Well done for going, that's what he needs.

    As for telling you earlier, that can be a very hard thing to do, both from your own point of view and your expected reactions of others. The main thing is you found out.

    Sympathy to you & his family.

    Rochey
    Member

    To all above, one word "Thanks" thanks for all you support and kind words.

    I will always remember the good time and that happy things we did.

    Thanks again to all at Singletrack.

    monkey_boy
    Member

    well done for going, it is very tough, will never forget the last few dyas when my dad was confined to his bed, but we had 7 months to try and get our heads round it.

    jaysus 35, i will be 35 in 6 weeks

    it is so easy to forget how lucky we are!

    Diane
    Member

    So sad but you were there for him and that's what is important.

    project
    Member

    Sadly cancer wil take Paul away from you and his family,but his memory will live with you forever,and thats what will help.

    Really sorry.

    Premier Icon Bushwacked
    Subscriber

    My thoughts are sincerely with you.

    I had a similar situation with my mates dad who had cancer and who I was VERY close to – hardest thing I have ever done is not cry when I saw him but I am so glad I made the effort to get to see him and say goodbye (he lived 150miles away). Sadly he died that night, my mate said that he was waiting to see me before he went. I can't put it in words how it still make me feel but I am so pleased for those last moments.

    Stay strong!

    genesis
    Member

    Man, lots of respect for you going to see him. lost my best mate last year. Its tough but talk it out to anyone who'll listen.

    karnali
    Member

    Good for going, lost a good school friend to cancer when he was 21, i had moved several hundred miles away, he had made good progress then went down hill fast, it was a few weeks before i found out, very sad news. Just thinking about him now his smile was infectious and i can remember playing together aged 11 (wow 25 years ago) and sadly some good friends of mine have lost a father recently after a very quick downturn. Keep strong, offer support to his family so they know its there and as has been said remember the good times.

    orangina
    Member

    Good call for going to be with him. I lost a chance like that with a teacher from school who was ill. This man changed my outlook on life and was gone before I could catch him… and there is no going back on this for me…

    Respect.. and priceless time well spent though tough.

    mrchrispy
    Member

    you got to see him and he'll always live on in your thoughts.
    its a real shitter though.

    zaskar
    Member

    Very sad news.

    Rochey
    Member

    Well I just thought I would update you on my mate Paul.

    Well I have just spoken to him, he seem well, new drugs which make him very drowsey etc but all in all it was good to talk to him.

    I have agreed to call him daily and try to keep his spirits high.

    Thanks for all you advice and support on this matrer.

    Rochey

    MartinGT
    Member

    God bless mate

    Lost my mother to god awful disease 5 years ago. Hell be there in spirit man.

    Take care.

    You're a saint Rochey – takes a real man to go down there not knowing what really to expect. Only a true friend would do such a thing.
    I'm sure you'll be one day happy in the knowledge you got to say goodbye properly, many don't get such a chance.
    Respect to you mate, my deepest sympathy and keep doing what a friend does.

    mafiafish
    Member

    I'm sorry for all involved and I'm sure seeing you before he passed meant the world to him.

    aw
    Member

    I really feel for you, his wife and his kids…Cancer is tough; I lost both parents acousin, two uncles and numerous friends to this horrible diease. I decided to give something back and support the excellent macmillan nurses. I have two long challenges raising over £6k so far (still collecting – see my web site). It really helped me to think I am helping others through this excellent charity 🙂

    my just giving web site

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