Jokes that 95% of people won't get

Home Forum Chat Forum Jokes that 95% of people won't get

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 258 total)
  • Jokes that 95% of people won't get
  • Premier Icon Bez
    Subscriber

    There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    I’ll repost:

    What goes, “pieces of seven, pieces of seven”?

    A parroty error.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    There are 10 types of people: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

    … and those who understand ternary.

    cynic-al
    Member

    There are 10 types of people – those that understand binary and those that don’t

    don simon
    Member

    My dog has no nose.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber


    WELCOME TO TEXT ONLY COUNTERSTRIKE

    You are in a dark outdoor map

    > GO NORTH

    You have been pwned by a grue

    RealMan
    Member

    Why do nerds always get Halloween and Christmas confused?

    Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

    There should be a godwins law type thing for xkcd references..

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    I saw a bloke in Tescos wearing that binary “joke” on a t-shirt.
    I thought what a suave gentleman. Must have a lot of lady friends.

    Now that is funny Dez!

    RealMan
    Member

    Okay, so there’s a singularity, see? And he walks up to a supernov…well he doesn’t walk up, the Universe is expanding so he kind of moves… Well, actually the singularity isn’t moving. He’s in one place but the supernova is exploding, well,… they…I mixed it up. There was a physicist and a photon. None of them were walking…

    Argon walks into a bar.
    The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases here!”
    Argon doesn’t react.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    What’s yellow and dangerous?

    A canary with root password.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    A SQL statement walks into a bar and spots a couple of tables. It walks over to them and asks “Can I join you?”

    finbar
    Member

    Werner Heisenberg is driving home from the lab one night and he gets pulled over by a policeman, who asks him “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”. “No”, replies Heisenberg, “but i know exactly where i am”.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    A Higgs Boson walks into a catholic church and sits down at a pew.

    The priest’s doing his rounds, and spots the hypothetical subatomic particle sitting at a pew. The priest says “Oi! You can’t come in here. Subatomic particles don’t have souls.”

    The Higgs Boson replies, “Ah! But you can’t have Mass without me”.

    RealMan
    Member

    An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

    The fire marshal comes in and issues a citation for exceeding the occupancy permit by an infinite amount, then closes down the bar.

    Cougar, too computery, I don’t get that SQL one ๐Ÿ˜

    Premier Icon sockpuppet
    Subscriber

    it seems to be about the difficulties of infinite sets. a concept that lies firmly in {things i don’t fully get}

    also: eaten by a grue. sounds unpleasant.

    finbar
    Member

    How much does energy cost?

    80p.

    This is my favourite joke…

    Do you want to play the rape game?

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Two atoms walking down the street.

    One exclaims, “blimey, I’ve just lost an electron!”

    “Are you sure?” asks the second.

    The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    And so it was to be, that after the waters receded, Noah commanded all the animals to “Go forth and multiply.”

    The ark quickly emptied, except for two small snakes, who stayed behind. When Noah asked them why, they replied, “We can’t multiply. We’re adders.”

    Noah, being the resourceful man he was, immediately got busy cutting down trees and building a large table with the unfinished lumber Therefrom.

    And he saw that it was good.

    The snakes were overjoyed when Noah picked them up and placed them on it. Noah and the snakes both knew that even adders could multiply on a log table.

    RealMan
    Member

    ๐Ÿ˜€

    Two scientists walk into a bar… the first one says, “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O, too.” And then he dies.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Comic Sans walks into a bar.

    The barman shouts, “get out, we don’t serve your type.”

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    I bought the OH a Klein Bottle for her birthday recently.

    A right sod to wrap, it was.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    A bloke I was talking to the other day was bragging that the temperature of his testicles was -273 degrees Celcius.

    Absolute bollocks if you ask me.

    don simon
    Member

    See if you can get the mods to change the title from 95% to 99%, RealMan?

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Why did police arrest the Adobe Acrobat?

    Because he was a pdf-file.

    Premier Icon Bez
    Subscriber

    …The Higgs Boson replies, “Ah! But you can’t have Mass without me”.

    That punchline deserves a rather better set-up ๐Ÿ™‚

    Premier Icon BigJohn
    Subscriber

    Referencing the above:

    Bloke walks into a chemist and asks for a bottle of adenosine triphosphate.

    Chemist: “That’ll be 80p”

    RealMan
    Member

    I bought the OH a Klein Bottle for her birthday recently.

    A right sod to wrap, it was.

    I LOVE this one. I almost bought a Klein bottle the other day, they look pretty cool. Apparently there’s a triple Klein in some museum somewhere, here’s a small picture..

    Awesome.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    That punchline deserves a rather better set-up

    Feel free if you’re that conCERNed about it.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Bloke walks into a chemist and asks for a bottle of adenosine triphosphate.

    I had to look that up; very good, like it. (-:

    eth3er
    Member

    There are 10 types of people, those who believe people can be classed into 10 groups and those who don’t.

    RealMan
    Member

    I had to look that up; very good, like it. (-:

    Still not quite got it yet..

    EDIT: Oh, got it now ๐Ÿ˜€

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    It’s known as “ATP”. 80p. Zing.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    There are 10 types of people, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

    Premier Icon Bez
    Subscriber

    What’s the gayest colour space? (sing along now) “Y-M-C-K…”

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Can you name a cardinal bigger than the Pope?

    Two to the Pope.

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 258 total)

The topic ‘Jokes that 95% of people won't get’ is closed to new replies.