Viewing 12 posts - 41 through 52 (of 52 total)
  • Jokes. Let's have 'em.
  • johndoh
    Free Member

    Lol at onza.

    What’s orange, hairy and floats?

    A hot air baboon

    labsey
    Free Member

    Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital?

    The ultrasound guy.

    crazy-legs
    Full Member

    Wife stood naked in front of the bedroom mirror says to her husband “I’m ugly, fat and disgusting. Pay me a compliment” husband says “well….your eyesight is spot on”

    Reminds me of:
    Wife stood naked in front of the bedroom mirror complaining about how small her boobs were. Husband says “well if you get a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts, every morning and evening, they’ll grow bigger”.
    “Really?!” says the wife.
    Husband says “Well sure, it worked for your arse didn’t it!”

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middling Edition

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    Northwind
    Full Member

    Setup:

    labsey – Member

    Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital?

    The ultrasound guy.

    When the ultrasound guy’s on holiday, who’s the coolest guy in the hospital?

    The hip replacement guy.

    ThurmanMerman
    Free Member

    Did you hear [insert grubby rival town’s name here] is getting a new zoo? It’s not much of a zoo. In fact it’s rubbish. It’s just a small Chinese dog in a box.

    It’s a Shih Tzu.

    (I laughed like I was shrooming the first time I heard that joke).

    ThurmanMerman
    Free Member

    Oh and:

    What does a one-legged man wear on the beach?

    Flip-flips.

    spacemonkey
    Full Member

    Did you hear about the pig that drew a picture of himself?

    It was a self-pork-trait!

    seadog101
    Full Member

    Scots bloke goes to New York to help with the Hurricane Sandy clean up effort.

    American guy asks him “Where are you from?”
    Scotsman “Glasgow”
    American “What states that in?”
    Scotsman “Pretty much the same as here”

    tomhoward
    Full Member

    Bloke goes into the Doctor’s and says
    “Doctor, I’d like you to have a look at my penis.”
    So she puts on a pair of rubber gloves and gives him a thorough examination. After a couple of minutes she stands up and says, “Well, I can’t see anything wrong with it.”

    “I know” He replies, “it’s f*cking magnificent isn’t it.”

    A day in the life of Hora?

    Guy walks into a bar and asks for 20 shots of the most expensive whiskey. As soon as the barman pours each shot, the guys necks it down until all 20 have been consumed. ‘Blimey’ says the barman ‘thirsty?’ to which our man responds with ‘well you’d be drinking this fast if you had what I have’
    ‘Oh my, if you dont mind me asking, what do you have?’
    ’39p’

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    Phah..

    I’ve no sense of humour but some of those made me LOL

    algarvebairn
    Free Member

    Guy walks into the bedroom, where his wife is lying in bed, with a sheep under his arm and says “This is the pig I sH@g with when you’re not around” His wife says “I think you’ll find that’s a sheep”. The guy says “I think you you’ll find I was talking to the sheep”

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    Scots bloke goes to New York to help with the Hurricane Sandy clean up effort.

    American guy asks him “Where are you from?”
    Scotsman “Glasgow”
    American “What states that in?”
    Scotsman “Pretty much the same as here”

    I remember seeing an interview outtake on ‘It’ll be alright on the night’ with a slightly punch drunk bare knuckle fighter. He’s just won a elimination bout so he’s had been fighting and winning back to back matches all day

    Interviewer “What kind of state are you in after 20 back to back fights?”
    Boxer “errrrrm. Idaho?”

Viewing 12 posts - 41 through 52 (of 52 total)

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