Light work day Cougar? 😀
I woke up on the settee the other day with books all over my head. I’ve only my shelf to blame.
I got out of the car the other day in the car park and fell over a book. Then I noticed that there were thousands of them – all novels! It was a multi story car park.Posted 4 years agotheotherjonvSubscriber
I was driving home the other day when my boss phoned me up and told me I’ve been promoted to director. i was so surprised i swerved over to the side of the motorway. then he phoned again and told me I’d been promoted to senior director. i swerved to the other side of the motorway. Then he phoned again and told me I’d been made managing director. i was so surprised I swerved down the embankment and into a field.
I’d careered off the road.Posted 4 years agonickthegreekMember
Ripped off a mate on facebook.
Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1……bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit.Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the Vodka. Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the cat.Posted 4 years agotinribzMember
A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
A programmer’s wife sends him to the store and says “get some bread, and while you’re there pick up some eggs” The programmer never came back.Posted 4 years ago
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