had an M.I. (Myocardial Infarction aka a Heart Attack 👿 )on Tuesday whilst out riding (Downhill FFS!)

needless to say I’m a tad narked as it came out of the blue… so peeps amuse me with your tall tales of hospital daring do, shenanigans etc whilst the escape comittee get organised 😛

You survived – good man. Only one thing for it – flash the nurses.

Ok I was in traction for 3.5 months, this is a great trick. Find someone in traction and put holes in their pee bottle the cardboard ones by the side of the bed. Voila they wet the bed, it was a regular occurance in my ward. It was fun at the time.

Hope you get better soon.

put holes in their pee bottle the cardboard ones by the side of the bed.

now getting “death stared” at by staff and patients because of “muha ha ha ha” evil geinus type laughter now eminating from my location. especially as they have located me next to the store cupboard with ALL of the bottles in….. 😈

not quite a hospital story, but related and possibly will cheer you up

just out of hospital after a perianal abcess op (abcess cut out so extra hole in arse basically), anyway home afterwards, the extra hole needing to be repacked with antiseptic stuff on a daily basis till healed. I live on my own so a charming English rose type (maybe 55ish, slender build, grey shortish neat hair, specs etc)nurse/home visitor turns up in a sports car, in she comes all happy/smiley etc makes herself at home on the couch and runs through my notes, then after some medical + small talk/banter she gloves up and I assume the position, legs apart, shreddies round ankles, touching toes, she cleans wound and repacks and then her hand most certainly lingered and I quote exactly – “fine firm buttocks”, she had a right smile on, if I hadn’t a gf it might have been so different………………

The squirty botles of alchohol gel contains real alchol, and a few patients, on a ward got quite drunk drinking it.

Was it the Champery DH track from 2007? That nearly gave a few people a heart attack!

On a serious note, glad you survived and hope you make a speedy recovery.

Take it easy!

Get well soon.

Okies so the nursies are now reading this chaps as I was chortling so much….

… do your worst!

hora & flashy to the thread please!

Thirty years ago that would have killed you!

Get well soon!

many years ago ‘someone i knew’and a couple of other friends did a midnight raid on a hospital near a French alpine resort to assist a friend escape. The reason being said patient was woefully under insured and it was looking to become a large bill. Plus the docs their had made a pigs ear of fixing the guys knee so they broke him out in a wheel chair, being chased down the corridors chased by hospital staff who soon twigged as to what was going on and why.

Said patient was bundled into a peugeot 205 and driven at high speed back to Hammersmith Infirmary. The look on the customs officers face in Dover when confronted with a passnger in a hospital gown was priceless. apparently!

The government are always banging on about saving money in the NHS, so why not change the uniforms??

Nurses uniform from NHS suppliers typical cost £87.50, nurses uniform from Ann Summers typical cost £43. – Simples 🙂

Looks like you’ll not be pricing my hope wheels then Jock? 😉

Looks like you are in good spirits though, hope you make a full ans speedy recovery.

If you are in Sunderland royal, I can pop across with beer, but don’t let the nurses read that.

Bloody hell … I’m being thrown out!

RESULT…

Thirty years ago that would have killed you!

shows how stuff had changed indeed, 10 years ago I had a small MI, this was mainly due to middle class parents not speaking about the family “problem” and not informing the recipient of said genes that he had a genetic cocktail that could be described as “not good” and at worst as “potentially lethal”. I.E. Family history chock full of risk factors including pre-disposition to overproduce colesterol (Hypercolestemia) and not telling me = keels over at the age of 37 having never had a colesterol test with an MI.

anyhoo long and short of it 10 years ago I was 21 days in hospital

timeline for this one is
MI Tuesday @ 14:30, (went home as i thought I’d dislocated my shoulder) (realised I hadnt then twigged what i had done at 17:30)
999 call @ 17:31
Ambulance turns up @ 17:42 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well impressed!
Wansbeck General A&E @ 18:15,
Wansbeck General CCU @ 21:30
Freeman Ward 27 CCU Wednesday @ 15:00
Freeman Cardiac Cath lab Thursday @ 09:30
Angiogram, 1 Artery 100% occluded, stented (x1) all clear
Back to Ward 27 @ 11:00
Informed being sent home Friday @ 16:00 after EXCELLENT CARE =0)

Looks like you are in good spirits though, hope you make a full ans speedy recovery.

If you are in Sunderland royal, I can pop across with beer, but don’t let the nurses read that

In the Freeman but I’ll be back in the shop tomorrow (I will be going gently) and I will remind Ian about pricing those rims up, it’s on the board.

Oh and the cause for this MI was my own stupid fault, I got cocky, stopped taking my meds for 6 months ergo my arteries furred up again, d’oh 😳

The NHS is pretty damned good when you really need some serious care. I ride with a gastroenterologist and his concern for his patents is inspirational.

999 call @ 17:31
Ambulance turns up @ 17:42 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well impressed!

We didn’t make the 8 minutes. 😯

The funniest part of luffy105’s story is his mate wouldn’t need to pay anything as France is part of Europe.

We didn’t make the 8 minutes

As the patient it seemed bloody quick to me, I was well impressed given the traffic at that time of day and the fact that the level crossing are down around then.

I thought 11 mins from initiating the call to crew on the doorstep was well impressive but there again I used to live in a remote rural area where 30 mins was considered impressive!

We didn’t make the 8 minutes.

How sad is it, that was my first thought as well 😆

jock, your story is a good one for a Friday. Glad you are doing so well, that you are in such good spirits, and that the NHS came through as wonderfully as it did!

11 minutes is good but sadly not for the figures the government set for Ambulance Services to achieve but don’t give them any funding to do this.

How sad is it, that was my first thought as well

My next thought was why not PPCI straight away but I take it he didn’t meet the criteria.

Pity you couldn’t have held off your MI until tonight you may have had me pick you up.

Watch this. Think of it as a test to ensure you have no leaks.

http://www.break.com/index/the-best-samba-class-youll-ever-see-2444423

Hope you heal fast and well.

pop a bit of talc around your face, . . then tell the next new patient you see that this used to be your bed right before you died…? 🙂

Oh he would Drac, not for the hospital care, but the other assocaited costs that went with the incident. Unfortunately i used to have to know that particular industry inside out as had a lot of clients end up in ski resort medical facilities over the years. I used to be on first name terms with most of the medical centers in the Tarentaise and haute savoie region.

Wet you face with a bit of water, clutch your chest whilst complaining of chest pain, fake a brief fit and then go limp…. when they come running with the crash trolley – jump up in bed and shout “not really”… oh how they’ll laugh!!!!

Attempt to chat up EVERY female member of staff (and any fit patients too). When someone complains, just blame it on your “broken heart”…………

(IGMC)

I remember a Phillipino nurse insisting on taking me to the toilet. I could feel the wee flowing through my willy+pressure of her grip on it.

It took me forever to finish. Oh the shame. She even shook it! 😆

Ambulance turns up @ 17:42 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well impressed!

My parents live the next block of terraces up, it’s literally about a minute’s walk.

I had cause to call 999 for my dad, gave details to dispatch and then sprinted up to their house. The ambulance service beat me to the door. Stellar, can’t praise them highly enough.