Viewing 33 posts - 1 through 33 (of 33 total)
  • Is there a dignified way to eat salad?
  • Xylene
    Free Member

    Well is there?

    I always resemble a demented ruminant at the lunch table trying to shovel in leaves.

    And shredded carrots it almost comes to life and flies everywhere

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    Salad is what food eats.

    the-muffin-man
    Full Member

    In a burger – but only a tiny amount, perhaps half a lettuce leaf.

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    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Salad is what food eats

    😆

    Cougar
    Full Member

    You need something to give it structural integrity, like a bun and a burger.

    Malvern Rider
    Free Member

    If your salad is a load of dry whole leaves with some shredded carrot and bits of egg or something etc. then no. Best just turn up the music and make a song and dance about it! Or whack it in a low-fat wrap.

    Better still make proper wholefood salad then eat with fork or spoon. If not binding well and falling off fork/spoon then next time when preparing stir in a few spoons of yr fave hummus. Yummus! Job done.

    Xylene
    Free Member

    Isn’t that what a salad is, loads of.leaves?

    cp
    Full Member

    chop your leaves up smaller. And lots of nice creamy dressing to give it come cohesion.

    kayak23
    Full Member

    The fashion these days is to serve it palm leaf sized.
    Chop that shit up yo.

    Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    Chop that shit up yo

    I may adopt that as my email signature.

    Malvern Rider
    Free Member

    Isn’t that what a salad is, loads of.leaves?

    Yep. Anything else like nuts, garlic, hummus, grains, lentils, pasta, pulses, dressings, fruit, vegetables etc is a foreign hippie’s travesty. My parents learned me that. Proud British salad-dodger.

    Some yankee-doodle nutjob once tried to put lettuce in my bacon. Sick of those LGBLT loonies feminizing my foodstuffs.

    Xylene
    Free Member

    Woaaah there! Chop it up? Only thing I chop up is my meat.

    How can I chop up salad surely that will just give me thin leaves with no substance to try and impale on a fork

    ericemel
    Free Member

    With Bacon

    GlennQuagmire
    Free Member

    Isn’t that what a salad is, loads of.leaves?

    In my book loads of leaves is a tree. Best not to eat them.

    hols2
    Free Member

    Salad is the one thing that chopsticks are actually useful for.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    My parents learned me that.

    Their time would have been better spent giving you grammar lessons. (-:

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    chop your leaves up smaller. And lots of nice creamy dressing to give it come cohesion.

    Ain’t that just coleslaw?

    Malvern Rider
    Free Member

    Their time would have been better spent giving you grammar lessons. (-:

    Parody/satire lessons, even! 😉

    How can I chop up salad surely that will just give me thin leaves with no substance to try and impale on a fork

    Sir, if you are indeed consuming only leaves then might I suggest the simple matter of ‘how’ to be the very least of your immediate concerns.

    Klunk
    Free Member

    by hand with a pizza mmmmmmmmmm

    jambalaya
    Free Member

    Yes. Your knife is for cutting the leaves into bite sized pieces.

    kayla1
    Free Member

    In a wrap, with soured cream and chilli (bean or con carne, your choice) and grated cheese. Granted, the whole ‘soured cream’ thing sort of negates the ‘salad’ bit 😆

    cyclingmev
    Free Member

    Don’t.

    dangeourbrain
    Free Member

    Just use your hands for crying loud. It even comes in crisp-like packets these days for ease

    carlos
    Free Member

    Wrap it up in a warmed Nann bread with plenty of chilli sauce, a squeeze of lemon and a right good portion of Kebab Meat of your choosing.

    jambalaya
    Free Member

    🙂

    chvck
    Free Member

    hooli
    Full Member

    Try adding some balsamic vinegar and beetroot, but not on the day you are wearing a white shirt at work. I am sat at my desk playing an imaginary game of join the dots 😆

    bigblackshed
    Full Member

    Shirley the correct answer is in a kebab?

    AlexSimon
    Full Member

    I use chopsticks

    Malvern Rider
    Free Member

    Shirley the correct answer is in a kebab?

    +10. Dignity Level Bonus.

    Extra points for style. Money-shot @ 2min 50secs

    [video]https://youtu.be/5E7cLcuMfNA[/video]

    funkmasterp
    Full Member

    Blend and drink?

    flashinthepan
    Free Member

    You need to go somewhere else for lunch

    CharlieMungus
    Free Member

    Fold it

Viewing 33 posts - 1 through 33 (of 33 total)

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