@Cougar I have a sneaky feeling, from past posts, that @Willard is in Sweden.

Always thought that might be a nice place to visit but it’d be a bugger of a commute.

I just asked a candidate to draw the root cause analysis and process flow of a bad cup of tea on the whiteboard.

LOL! That’s easy the water, specific tea leaf, tea submersion time, number of submersion, and brewing temp. Want to be more specific then find out how the tea leaf was “cooked” or prepared and the region it comes from.

My response would be to ask you to elaborate on what “bad” means. For all I know there’s nowt wrong with it, you’re simply a coffee drinker. It’s not possible to do a RCA until you have a solution and it’s not possible to derive a solution beyond blind luck before you’ve accurately defined the problem.

I see this all the time on STW, someone will post a question going “my car won’t start” and well-meaning responses will be variously “I had that, it was the starter motor / is it out of fuel? / you need a new battery” but few people ever ask questions. My car won’t start, what’s the Root Cause Analysis? Christ knows, let’s first establish whether or not you’ve pumped a tankful of petrol into a diesel vehicle before we worry about the how and why this might have happened.

Hey, would I have been a successful candidate? 😁 Or written off as a smartarse?

@jonba I’m failing to see how any of that is the fault of the company, sounds like they got off lightly!

Two stand out,

The guy who came ‘very’ prepared for an interview; notepad, pen, water, banana, sandwich. To be fair he was professional and only ate the banana, whilst writing down each question fully, then making notes on his answer, then telling us he was ready to answer. Then slowwwwwly answering the question whilst pausing to see if he was on the right track. Remarkably, he got the one of the jobs despite my better judgement (because public sector panel recruitment process) and turned out to be exactly the kind of walloper I was dreading.

other one was an enthusiastic candidate who decided to get creative, and used some large sheets of paper (we had previously put up on the walls for process mapping) to embellish his answer. as they were only lightly attached they kept falling down, so he eventually drew on them on the floor on his hands and knees…three of us on the panel trying not to laugh at a guy who looks like he is basically hiding under the table in front of us whilst explaining his answer, then popping up with a flourish to show us his handiwork.

I’ve had a few interviews lately. Some in Public Sector which ask nebulous questions about how your behaviours apply to the role, not what you know and will bring.
I had another couple with the NT. I have never dealt with nebulous crap. In my feedback I was told that I never answered how I would work strategically. I looked at the questions (I tend to write them down) and asked “which of the questions was I meant to answer that in?” The manager got in a flap and said “I should have known”, I responded with if you want a particular answer, then ask the question. Turns out an airhead got the job.
Last one, with my current employer was fantastic. It was a conversation, no trick questions, they were genuinely interested in what I know and how I think it could be applied. The second interview was with the CEO and MD, 24mins in the CEO apologises for not asking any of the questions he was meaning to. The MD, said it’s fine and she has everything she needed.
The interview where I’ve been on the panel where I got the most from was hard. Applicant was clearly the best on paper but suffered from severe anxiety. We had to really coax them through the interview. But we got what we needed from them. They started the role and were excellent. They let on in their induction that they have lost so many jobs because of their anxiety. So we set up an OH programme to help them. They blossomed and got a promotion and sailed through the interview. I was pleased with that outcome.
Clever dicks and automatons are the worst to lead interviews, unfortunately they tend to be those that lead them.

Three unsuitable candidate experiences I’ve had when interviewing:

1). Guy took an obviously personal phone call (with no attempt to end it quickly) as I was giving him a quick tour of the office – I gave him the crappy technical question set as a result…

2). Guy stank of booze and looked pretty dishevelled, felt a bit sorry for him as I likely figured he was an alcoholic but not a risk we could take (and he flopped on the technical interview part anyway)

3). Teams interview and the guy was obviously trying to surreptitiously use google on his phone to answer technical questions, one of the other people interviewing even googled it at the same time and it was obvious he was reading back the first hit

I’ve had the odd practical interview.

I had to make one corner of a traditional drawer for a job once. Book-matching and jointing veneer and cutting some dovetail joints.

Can’t remember how I did but I got the job, and stayed for two years until I got bored to death of cutting dovetails 😂

Always thought that might be a nice place to visit but it’d be a bugger of a commute.

Nah, commuting in Sweden is a doddle. No traffic anywhere.

Commuting TO sweden on the other hand, that’s best done from somewhere that doesn’t involve a flight…

Applicant was clearly the best on paper but suffered from severe anxiety. We had to really coax them through the interview

I’m increasingly of the view that interview questions should be provided to candidates in advance of the interview. You are trying to assess their knowledge and personality, not their ability to interview.

I battled my way through the snow to their office to discover that they’d changed to a phone interview. Worked quite well actually, was able to relax in a conference room with a speakerphone and cup of coffee, and they didn’t have to look at my face.

I’m increasingly of the view that interview questions should be provided to candidates in advance of the interview. You are trying to assess their knowledge and personality, not their ability to interview.

That depends on the role, surely? If you can’t handle a job interview without going to pieces, you’re probably not suitable for a job which involves making presentations to the board.

We had a lad once, interviewing for an apprenticeship position, absolutely terrified. He was literally shaking. He was massively into football, watching and playing, so we got him talking about that* and he visibly relaxed (but was still very nervous). We gave him the job and he’s turned out great.

(* – one reason why I like to see interests on a CV)

That depends on the role, surely? If you can’t handle a job interview without going to pieces, you’re probably not suitable for a job which involves making presentations to the board.

Nah, i’m terrible at interviewing myself, get very very nervous. Because it’s unexpected and unplanned.

I’ve presented to a board of directors dozens of times. Rarely had any unexpected questions. And i always know what the subject matter is, so it’s rarely unplanned either.

Still hate doing it though.

I have been to interviews deliberately set up to put you under stress. panel of 3 behind a desk, small chair for you placed in the middle of the room. Nowhere to put your papers and cup of water. that sort of thing

I’m increasingly of the view that interview questions should be provided to candidates in advance of the interview. You are trying to assess their knowledge and personality, not their ability to interview.

If you give them questions up front, you’re testing their ability to research and answer questions, not their knowledge.

That’s not a bad thing – but assessing their knowledge and experience is valuable too.

Nowhere to put your papers and cup of water. that sort of thing

interview without biscuits…

I also might ask different questions, dependant on what their answers are.

As a freelance Data Engineer I have many interviews, twice I’ve been asked the most ridiculous question, (one of those times was this week in an interview for an energy company). When they ask me to provide a portfolio of previous work for clients to demonstrate my visual or technical style. The biggest issue is data protection and non-disclosure would make this a huge breach of previous contracts and trust; it indicates the interviewer is a cowboy. The second huge issue, is often the work I produce is limited by the client requiring an outdated look/feel or low ambition technical solution to fit with their business or team preference, rather than it being a best demonstration of my abilities.

Then lastly, good data solutions prevent a developer from extracting meaningful data products as part of the data security and intellectual protection!

I have been to interviews deliberately set up to put you under stress. panel of 3 behind a desk, small chair for you placed in the middle of the room.

I went to an interview once where I had to climb three flight of stairs in a suit in the summer and then immediately opened a door and the panel was directly in front of me. It completely threw me as I assumed I was going to sit outside a room or something.

A long time ago I was interviewed in a large conference room by 4 folk. Two sat each side of the rectangular conference room table with me at the head. Trying to engage with them all in conversation was fun and I ended up twisting my head backwards and forwards like I was watching a game of table tennis. I did wonder if it was tests to so if you started moving furniture around. I found out later it wasn’t, they just hadn’t even thought about it.

I’ve just realised that at 58 I’ve only attended 5 interviews as a candidate and there is a good chance now that I’ll never attend another one. In all five cases I was offered the position, which just shows how poor they are as a way of judging a suitable candidate 🙂

interview without biscuits…

Healthcare mate. Biscuits are only for very senior staff waaaaaaay above my grade

Biscuits are only for very senior staff waaaaaaay above my grade

Whereas I had confirmation today that I recruited the *right* person as our new admin. She turned up with biscuits on her first day, adding to the office stockpile. She was shocked to learn that we get free tea, coffee, biscuits and a nice Christmas lunch in a few weeks… 🙂

Providing the questions in advance is not a bad idea, cross-referencing their responses with other questions can weed out anything extra you may need.

We did have a candidate that reminded me of Spud from trainspotting, to be fair they should never have got through short-listing but there’s always one. They had an incredibly strong accent and spoke very quickly, and all their examples were very basic / shallow. The odd phrase or word came out every now and then that was discernible but it al felt quite surreal at one pint, a cross between Spud and the Drunk Guy from the Fast Show.

Healthcare mate. Biscuits are only for very senior staff waaaaaaay above my grade

‘interview without biscuits’ generally means you’ve **** up and are about to get a bollocking.

And behold, a new STW meme was born.

I think the military invented it long before STW or memes existed.

Was interviewing a couple of weeks ago and while having a chat with one interviewee she asked if we’d (2 of us were interviewing) ever used a chocolate finger as a straw.

She then went on to mime the technique, looking like she was giving the desk a blowie!

Weirdest interview I had was for DEFRA during lockdown.

The ‘interview panel’ consisted of videos of random office management types asking questions which you then had a set time to answer. No opportunity to ask any questions as they were just recordings and only 1 chance to answer without being able to correct yourself or rerecord.

Even worse was that when you were answering all you could see on screen was yourself talking, answering the question.

A very bizarre and frankly horrible interview method.

Surprisingly I didn’t get the job (thank god) and I now have a much better and far more rewarding one working at a local university faculty supporting students with learning difficulties and disabilities. I absolutely love it. 🙂

I think the military invented it long before STW or memes existed.

Yeah, I always knew it as a meeting without biscuits but it is a military thing.

@Cougar – where are you based?
Airbus in Newport are looking for a Cyber Security Consultant. Remote working with occasional site visits.

Providing the questions in advance is not a bad idea

I had one which was basically an interview by questionnaire. Hated it. Couldn’t clarify questions or read the room. Felt like a really lazy way to interview people; if I’m going to consider working somewhere, I’d like them to invest a bit of time with me up front.

@cougar

Hey, would I have been a successful candidate?

Yes, but then I’d ask you how to generate the specifications and customer requirements for “tea” and then validate the tea making process so it didn’t happen again.

@Cougar – where are you based?

At home 😁. Shouldn’t matter if I’m working remotely.

I’m in East Lancashire.

Airbus in Newport are looking for a Cyber Security Consultant. Remote working with occasional site visits.

Thanks, sounds interesting. But that would hinge entirely on how they defined “occasional.” Twice a week or twice a year could both be considered occasional.

Yes, but then I’d ask you how to generate the specifications and customer requirements for “tea” and then validate the tea making process so it didn’t happen again.

That’s the easy bit. I make a great cup of tea. (-:

Isn’t this basically Agile Methodology? Iterate through brews and get customer feedback each time until it’s perfected. THEN once you’ve got the customer requirements clearly defined you can worry about making the process robust (script it?) and undertake RCA if it fails after that.

I once went for an interview for a summer job as an ‘apprentice’ to the Miller at a working water mill at Shugborough.

As the interview progressed it became clear that they were looking for an actual apprentice, as the current Miller was close to retirement and was willing to spend his last few years training someone up to take over his role. The job advertisement had clearly stated it was a temporary position, so it’s not like i was f**king them about. They were asking me, an 18 year old looking for something to do for a few months, if i’d like to devote my life to operating a Georgian water mill. I was, i was told, the only applicant.

Reader, i did not marry them.

I liked to subsequently use it as a jolly story about how even though i was the only person to apply i still didn’t get the job, but strangely it is actually one of those ‘fork in the road’ moments that really ‘what ifs’ at me.

I was once left alone in a room to with 45min to prepare a ministerial briefing note on a subject I didn’t know much about. They gave me a laptop to do it so I just opened up a private browsing tab on chrome, googled it, found suitable templates and content and got through that stage of selection with flying colours.

To those that asked, no, he did not get the job.

@Cougar Yeah, commuting would be a pain and now, thanks to things, it would be less easy to work here as well. Your skills would be in demand here though, any chance you can claim some sort of EU citizenship? Irish grandparents perhaps? Secret Estonian uncle?

Failing that, East Lancs might get you BAE Systems. I think they are still recruiting for cyber.

Having done interviews in my 50s after being made redundant, if I have to find a job again, I will be self employed or just live off my retirement funds (then die in a gutter somewhere!).
I could not go through it again.
Worst one was about an hour and a half from home, pissed with rain all the way there. Came out sunny when I arrived, too early, so I went for a stroll. A van came round a corner, through a puddle and soaked me head to toe, like some sad-sack unlucky Alf character in a sketch show. Oh yes.
So I go to the interview looking more of a mess than I’d have liked and joke about it with the massive prick who turned up to “interview” me. The prick who spent an hour telling me how great he was, how dedicated he was and how shit I was. He offered to train my skills back up to date, unpaid. I think he was the trigger for my depression actually. Good job he lives that far away or I might’ve paid him a second visit 😡 😆

I had an odd experience interviewing a candidate over teams during lockdown. The candidate joins the meeting at the appropriate time but without her camera turned on. I explained it would be much better for the interview if we could actually see each other while we were talking but she was very reluctant to turn it in still. After a little more discussion she finally agreed to turn the camera on but told me that should would just have to pop away for a few minutes first as she needed to go and get dressed. Unfortunately that was a fairly good indicator as to how the rest of the interview would go.

I left my previous role during lockdown for the role I’m in now. Was a Teams interview – I’d spent the whole morning gardening and rushed upstairs for the call, threw on a smart’ish shirt and got the job. Felt crazy given I was wearing mud stained shorts and stank…

Isn’t this basically Agile Methodology? Iterate through brews and get customer feedback each time until it’s perfected.

I’m glad you don’t make landing gear for aeroplanes, keep making them differently until you have decided how many wheels the customer wants that don’t fall off.