Came in the other day to find my daughters (5 and 8) belting out word perfect renditions of “Solo” by Clean Bandit (a popular single in the current hit parade). Missus was there cheering them on.

Later on I casually asked the missus if she had ever listened to the actual lyrics because, reading between the lines with the benefit of a dirty mind, it is essentially a song about female masturbation.

Upshot: that song is now banned in our house as “inappropriate” with a “because I say so” explanation to the kids.

Not sure how I feel about that.

On the one hand it is just innuendo, not blatant. There’s no swearing. And it is definitely not something the kids are likely to pick up on, just like YMCA and Frankie Says Relax etc were mostly lost on our generation.

But on the other hand, it feels like part of the overall insidious sexualisation of childhood thing.

What sayeth the panel?

Two little boys?

Do you only ban songs involving female masturbation?

Just play them Nazi Punks **** Off by The Dead Kennedys and get it all out the way

Get Mike Read on the case.

Seriously, if they don’t understand the innuendo, it really doesn’t matter. If they, do, they’re probably old enough to listen to it (or sing it) anyway.

You just made that song so cool 😀

Your kids probably know more about the base subject than you or your wife, let em’ sing I say.

I think its hilarious when kids sing songs that have alternative meanings.

Dawn – Dessert is a good one

On the one hand it is just innuendo, not blatant. There’s no swearing. And it is definitely not something the kids are likely to pick up on, just like YMCA

Wait…What?

YMCA is about clean living young men having a good meal and that.

Have I missed something?

edit – this forum has gone mental (the software)

Just play them Nazi Punks **** Off by The Dead Kennedys

Or the Winker’s Song by Ivor Biggun. Avoid all the innuendo and hidden meanings infiltrating their little brains.

Since you been gone
I’ve been dancing on my own
There’s boys up in my zone
But they can’t turn me on
‘Cause baby, you’re the only one I’m coming for
I can’t take no more, no more, no more

I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I’m broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry but I like to party
T-t-touch but I got nobody
Here on my own
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I’m broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry since the day we parted
T-t-touch but I got nobody
So I do it solo

I did think about those lyrics the other day but figured people have been substituting **** for dance for years, so told myself to stop being so old!!

Do you only ban songs involving female masturbation?

Funnily enough I said to the missus that it seemed like a step forward for gender equality that we now have hit singles about tickling the prawn. #smashthepatriarchy

She wasn’t impressed. 🙂

Your kids probably know more about the base subject than you or your wife

At 5??

You just made that song so cool

Yeah that is a risk.

Tonight’s The Night

Rod croaking his way through those oh so subtle lyrics

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Seriously, if they don’t understand the innuendo, it really doesn’t matter. If they, do, they’re probably old enough to listen to it (or sing it) anyway.

Pretty much my thoughts.  At that age they’ve almost certainly never considered what words might mean (until now, anyway), they’re just repeating words parrot-fashion.

Pop has always had questionable lyrics, it’s not a new phenomenon.

those oh so subtle lyrics

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I don’t know that one. Can you hum it?

Speaking of questionable lyrics,

Have you properly listened to Elle King’s “Ex’s and Oh’s”?  I’m amazed they got away with that.

I can remember Depeche Mode miming to Master and Servant on a BBC kids programme in the ’80s.

Did no-one think to check the lyrics!

Then 7 year old daughter singing and dancing around to that Mousse T song. Oh how the Mrs laughed.

I have three girls, two aged 9 and one aged 4.

Lyrics are the least of your worries trust me. Just wait till they start watching/copying music videos!

One word….Minipops

It’s hardly

“Every time I think about you I touch myself”

If in any doubt about the other meaning of “solo dancing”, this video of a song of that name by Indiana gives some handy visual representations….

“One word….Minipops”

It was the cancellation of Minipops that heralded the birth of the Dark Net.

It’s hardly

“Every time I think about you I touch myself”

You’re quite right, because I think the lyrics are actually “When I think about you I touch myself”…. 🙂
Assuming this is The Divinyls we’re on about?

In Other News – the infant/junior school over the road from us had their disco last week & they were playing IDGAF by Dua Lipa at full blast with the word “****” blanked out, but only just, i.e. you could definitely hear “fu…..”

I did think that wasn’t particularly appropriate, but can remember dancing at my junior school disco to Push It by Salt N Pepa and no one seemed to bat an eyelid…..

About 18 months ago I was out in Cambridge with a work crowd and somehow ended up in a total dive of a club – can’t remember what it was called; it was Life when I lived in Cambridge. Anyway – the dancing was clearly a lot more erm, raunchy than when I used to go clubbing. I felt like a dirty old man in the company of the younger generation, so just propped the bar up pondering how it ‘wasn’t like this in my day….’ Ha, such an old man….. 🙂

The OP and his family in the car earlier…

Songs abut playing with your own ding-a-ling are bad now?

So, what flavour milkshake brought all the boys to the yard?

Oh,and just for Graham 🙂
<div>Come on angel my hearts on fire
Don’t deny your man’s desire
You’d be a fool to stop this tide
Spread your wings and let me come inside</div>

Is it bad that my four year old sons favourite song is SOB by Nathaniel Rateliffe? We just shout over the chorus with La, Lala.

There are plenty that aren’t innuendo out there that my kids’ mum listens to.

Whilst simultaneously claiming that The Simpsons is “a bit inappropriate”…

My rule tends to be innuendo is fine, if they’re old enough to get it they’re old enough to hear it. Outright filth not so much. (so no Family Guy even if they wake in the middle of the night, for example)

wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah

I’m not sure how you can do this:

And it is definitely not something the kids are likely to pick up on, just like YMCA and Frankie Says Relax etc were mostly lost on our generation.

And think this:

But on the other hand, it feels like part of the overall insidious sexualisation of childhood thing.

Even though there’s been 40 years since YMCA and 34 since relax, yet they are directly comparable. If it is bad, it always has been.

I say that your wife is talking bobbins and if she bans the kids listening to things like this, that although this battle may be won, you’re going to loose the war in no more than 2 years.

Look at say, Sing, fine as a film, but has I like big butts’ in it. Yes, my 4 year old gets the song and what it means. Then Ed Sheeran with his Gallway girl, “Kissed on the neck” trust me, my 7 year old asks for it by that lyric. It’s there, it’s not terrible, but if you make it into a massive thing, it’ll become massive.

At 5??

Ahh, unlikely then… (thought they might be teenagers for some reason)

As you were…

How about So what by the anti nowhere league?

That covers all bases.

I’m disappointed no-one has linked a video or image of Gordon Brown watching a primary school rendition of Katy Perry

Any excuse to quote McFly’s greatest moment:

“When I fell in love with Uranus”

Look at say, Sing, fine as a film, but has I like big butts’ in it. Yes, my 4 year old gets the song and what it means. Then Ed Sheeran with his Gallway girl, “Kissed on the neck” trust me, my 7 year old asks for it by that lyric. It’s there, it’s not terrible, but if you make it into a massive thing, it’ll become massive.

Butts and kissing is fine though really. I don’t really care about them singing about that.

Singing about having to “go solo” because you want to “f-woop”, but the other boys don’t turn you on and your ex is the only one you can come for, seems a little bit more… explicit.

I full accept I may just be getting old and grumpy though.

Every generation of kids has probably sung along to songs about masturbation without realising it until years later – for my generation it was Turning Japanese and Dancing with Myself.

I have to admit I didn’t massively enjoy my daughter’s word perfect, but entirely innocently sung, renditions of Ed Sheeran’s “A Team” a few years back, but she had no idea what that was about so no harm done (probably). I know it’s not masturbation, but I still wasn’t delighted to hear my then six year old singing passionately about the travails of prostituting yourself to feed a crack habit, but there you go.

We’ve had at least one thread on here in recent times of lyrics you probably couldn’t get away with now and there were songs from every recent decade and genre you could mention (within the widest catchment of “rock’n’roll”)

“Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg.”

“Eezer Goode, Eezer Goode, he’s Ebeneezer Goode”

Speaking of Moose T – went to a kids party at Eureka in Halifax a few years ago – a room of 7 year olds jumping up and down shouting ‘I’m horny so horny horny horny’….