- In-law staying over for 6mos .. Yay or Nay?
Be polite,smile,give them the print out of the numbers for homeless shelters you got off the internet.Posted 3 years ago
Wish them luck with their quest for a bed.
You can give them the other option that they pay the mortgage,bills (electric,gas,etc), all food, cooking and cleaning while they stay. There should be a sub clause that any disagreement or rowing means instant eviction.jekkylMember
Father in law not around any more?Posted 3 years ago
In which case you are a wonderful, kind and compassionate human being opening your house to your mother in law for 6 months. Remember she won’t be around forever either. If she starts insisting you watch coronation street though, where’s that bike…..makecoldplayhistoryMember
It’s not really one for the masses to answer. Only you know what you want, and how your wife (and her mum) will act if you say you don’t want her mother there.
We live in S.E Asia and have had my parents and my wife’s mother come over. Usually for about 4 weeks at a time. Although they’re all easy and lovely, after 3 weeks, you do long for a little space – that’s what bike rides are for though!Posted 3 years agoMalvern RiderMember
‘I have no idea how to deal with old people or how they behave’
Now’s your chance to find out 🙂 You may also consider meeting and (even momentarily) engaging with a selection of older people. They don’t all smell of wee and have dementia, but they do all enjoy a Werthers. Word!Posted 3 years ago
Treat how you want to be treated. If you treat others like this then it’ll be obvious to others. When it comes to be your time to be old you’ll be sat infront of a gas fire moaning about the odd email or call from your children who emigrated/too busy/friends who cut those they didnt deem closest enough when in need etc.
Plus if its an in law its your partners parent. I gracefully put up with over a decade of casual racism from my MiL as my other half loves her unconditionally. We aint 14 anymore.Posted 3 years ago
Its not that I resent old people, I just have no idea what to be around them. Mum died when I was young and Dad marry another and kicked me out of the house, grandparents not helping either as I was a Menace//PITA back then.. So I literally grew up on my own with same age friends in the streets.
For once my thinking kinda bit like Hora in this particullar situation, got a kid now and want to show her how to treat an old folks .. But then again half a year of me living in the guest room 😐 , anyways, thanks guys for the replies, guess will have to put up with it.Posted 3 years ago
This is your family
It’s someone else’s family.
“Can my mum stay for a few days” seems perfectly reasonable to me. Six months is taking the piss IMO.
At the very least I’d be expecting her to pay board. If she can afford to go on holiday for six months, she can afford to pay her way; right now I’m trying to work out whether I can afford to go on holiday for six days. In the country I live in. In a tent.Posted 3 years ago
Because the guest room is in the 2nd floor, other half said due to her fitness its better she will stay in the masters as it has ensuite (shower/toilet) and its just in the 1st floor next to the living room and the occasional climbing stairs from kitchen in groundfloor would not be too much.
Im not that bothered i think? Just dawned on me 6mos is literally half a year 😯 , now i will drag my feet to go to Range to buy some shower curtain to fix the bath so I can do my shower there for the next 6mos 🙁Posted 3 years agob rMember
Roll with it.
We moved in with my folks, it was going to be a year while we converted one of their buildings into a granny-annex for them, and we got their place.
After 3 months they moved out into a small cottage about 50 yds away – guess they couldn’t live with young folk 🙂Posted 3 years ago
the occasional climbing stairs from kitchen in groundfloor would not be too much.
What?? – shes “63-65” for f**ks sake, not 95. My Mum is 97 and even she can still occasionally climb stairs.Posted 3 years ago
I’ll retract what I said before if you’re expected to move out of your bedroom for somebody who’s only my age. Tell her it’s the spare room or nothing 😈
Who the hell goes on a six month holiday to a foreign country when they can’t climb stairs?
And, she can spend six months in a house where she can happily climb one flight of stairs to get to the bedroom, but not two? Suggest that, due to her fitness, she stays somewhere with a bloody lift.
This is turning into a Little Britain sketch. How long have you been married, out of interest?Posted 3 years ago
Fantastic moment for your son or daughter to bond/get to know the grandparent!
You can also have a night out whilst your grandparent looks after him/her.
Look at the positives- you WILL have arguments but these help smooth the ripples out to become a harmony. DONT bitch about your in law to your other half at ANY point. Talk.
I think this is great- days out, babysitting/bonding duty etc etc.
So what if your in law likes watching tv? At 65 not all of us want to be running up a hill. I know a girl at work who is 34 and doesn’t do any form of exercise. Her choice, her life. Who am I to cast judgement because I ride a bicycle (well push it up hills).Posted 3 years ago
Thanks AndyR exactly my point, told the other half that if you treat her like a very old woman then she will believed it and act like so. I suggest that she broke her out of her ways sitting and watching soap tv thingy or sleeping all day and walk a mile or two everyday maybe more on the weekends.. But hey ho, i dont know how this thing works.
Shes kinda a Professor physics /chem something like that ..with the GCSE coming guess can help with the kid.. Well this was my thoughts.Posted 3 years ago
She can stay with Hora.
Can she cook good Chinese? 8)
OP – like you I didn’t know my grandparents. Both my Grand Dads got it in WWII and tore up our family onwards from this. I knew my Great Grandfather as a kid and was close but he died way too soon for me to get more quality time with him 🙁
Going forward I want this rectified with spawn of hora.Posted 3 years agomudsharkMember
My parents wouldn’t think it appropriate to ask to stay for anything like that long. My in-laws are in China and there has been the thought that if they came over they’d want to stay for quite a few weeks. Not keen as the MiL is a pain – really fussy about food for one, no interest in eating anything other than what she normally eats.Posted 3 years agonukeSubscriber
Thanks AndyR exactly my point, told the other half that if you treat her like a very old woman then she will believed it and act like so. I suggest that she broke her out of her ways sitting and watching soap tv thingy or sleeping all day and walk a mile or two everyday maybe more on the weekends..
See, right there, already underlying resentment…. imagine that resentment after 6 months 😯 It a no from mePosted 3 years ago
My only trouble really is I dont have a clue how to live/deal with people in their golden years.. And dont want to offend them as she is in her holiday in the first place… Very unchartered territory.. As i am very used to live on my own. Guess those bit that have been mentioned is only temporary and I can live with, definition of being a family I believe….. , shortly it will be autumn/winter soon and I am back to my old life 🙂Posted 3 years ago
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