I'm upset with my wife, is it me who is in the wrong?

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  • I'm upset with my wife, is it me who is in the wrong?
  • Premier Icon 2unfit2ride
    Subscriber

    My wife asked me the other day if I would mind if she went to a concert with her friend on new years eve rather than spend it with me & the kids, I said I would mind, (as to me NYE is about another year gone & another year to come with my wife) but she booked it anyway & now it has resulted in me being the unreasonable one, so how would you see the situation?

    And yes she knows I’m posting the question on here so please be honest, I’m big enough to say lie when I’m wrong.

    Cheers.

    sobriety
    Member

    You aren’t being unreasonable. You are however, wrong. 😉

    Which concert?

    jekkyl
    Member

    good god man if that’s not a reason for a whole weekend away bike riding I don’t know what is. Possibly even 5 days or a week. Milk it man, milk it.

    Premier Icon cloudnine
    Subscriber

    Male friend?

    Squidlord
    Member

    You’ve not been married long, have you?

    Premier Icon easygirl
    Subscriber

    I would be upset if my wife chose to celebrate New Year’s Eve with her friends rather than me and I’ve been married 35 years, and we don’t live in each other pockets

    Premier Icon 2unfit2ride
    Subscriber

    TJD gary Barlow.
    jekkyl, what about the kids?

    Premier Icon 2unfit2ride
    Subscriber

    C9 no, SL yes I have.

    jekkyl
    Member

    any grandparents or siblings with kids you can celebrate with/ invite over?

    It’ll be finished by 10pm,Gary needs to be tucked up in bed with his cocoa by 11,she’ll be home for first footing,relax.

    faz083
    Member

    sounds brilliant to me. This should be enough of a bartering tool for that week in the alps next year –

    “Oh but remember new year when you went away…?….? Yup? I’ll be booking my week away now then”

    🙂

    Premier Icon 2unfit2ride
    Subscriber

    It doesn’t start until 10, let alone finish.

    CountZero
    Member

    Speaking from the POV of someone who really couldn’t give a rat’s ass for New Year, if my hypothetical SO wanted to go to a concert with her bestest friend, then I wouldn’t stop her, because it’s not unlikely that I could be in the same situation. Depending on who’s gig it is, I might even plead to be allowed to go with! 😀
    [edit] Just noticed who it is: I’d be begging to be excluded under any and all circumstances! Use as a bartering tool, got to be worth lots in exchange. Offload the kids onto the GP’s, then go out for beers with some mates, relish the opportunity to get shitfaced while she’s screaming at GB.

    allthepies
    Member

    If she was going to book it anyway, why bother asking you first ?

    jekkyl
    Member

    Do you like dance music 2unfit? dump the kids somewhere and get yourself to a sweaty dance club for the evening. NYE is the best night of the year.

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
    Subscriber

    And yes she knows I’m posting the question on here

    I’d say is the answer. You’re both comfortable enough to listen to arguments, so both probably think there are cases for both of your stances. Lucky buggers.

    Oh, and Mrs 2U2R: You should have consulted, men have feelings you know.

    2U2R: Coke & Hookers, Leeds. Dec 31st. Email in profile.

    HTH

    Use and abuse the power!!!

    emma82
    Member

    You are entitled to be peeved. I would be.

    yunki
    Member

    Count Zero is correct..

    I save up evenings out for a festival or two in the summer..
    Are you a partner or her owner?

    What’s the big deal with new year? Is it a family tradition that she’ll be scuppering? How old are the kids? Will they care? Why?

    flicker
    Member

    I’d most definitely be bent out of shape about this, I’d also be surprised if the kids weren’t upset about it too.

    Book a holiday for you and the kids that leaves on NYE and leave a note 😀

    Premier Icon convert
    Subscriber

    Do the kids have any milfslonely single mum’s amongst their friend’s parents? If so invite them over with their kids for a friendly evening. Make the house reallllly warm. Lots of photos to share with Mrs 2u2r the next day.

    yossarian
    Member

    I think you have every right to be annoyed. If she asked you how you felt and then just went ahead anyway then that’s pretty selfish IMO.

    Personally I think NYE is a load of overly sentimentalised bollocks. I’m not sure I’d rather go and see Barlow though.

    Midnighthour
    Member

    It would not occur to me to stop a partner going in this particular situation, unless they were doing this constantly to the point of unfairness. Is it a marriage or a prison? She clearly thought you would be ok with it. Now you have done the heavy handed thing and she is (rightly) rebelling.

    Make the most of it to ensure you can have a day out on your own or better still, play the decent partner, encourage her to go to her event and arrange a special day out for the 2 of you later in the week/month thats romantic and fun. Also, have some special time with the kids and do a bit of extra bonding with them. Its fun to have a parent just to yourself.

    Who would you value the most – the supportive romantic or the sulky ‘do what I tell you’ person?

    Premier Icon sparksmcguff
    Subscriber

    Are your kids old enough to go with your wife, if so i’d take up bearnecessities offer.

    But yes you are right and wrong. Quantum mechanics isn’t it? Multiple states of being.

    mrlebowski
    Member

    Poor form on her behalf, very poor form & I wouldn’t hesitate to inform her of such.

    I’d imagine the kids aren’t too amused either….

    twinw4ll
    Member

    I wouldn’t give a 5h1tt, i’m in bed asleep by 10pm anyway.
    Bit like Christmas, total dollocks.

    Yes i am the lovechild of the Grinch and Scrooge, but i’ll never repent.

    Premier Icon Rusty Mac
    Subscriber

    As per others, I wouldn’t consider it to be a little unreasonable however as the man you are and always will be wrong.

    Also as per others, bank it for when you really want a trip away with the boys.

    Premier Icon somafunk
    Subscriber

    Personally i’d be more upset that she considers the mindless droning that is Gary Barlow to be a form of music, that is totally unforgivable in my opinion but as i’ve previously been outed on this forum for being an ignorant toss-pot music snob it’s not an issue i would ever encounter.

    Send her to somewhere decent for New Years Eve, such as the Sub Club in Glasgow, education…education…education, fair enough she may collapse in the door at some point on January the 2nd with a 1000 yard stare and a vacant expression on her face whilst being barely able to walk but at least that’d be caused by the 24hrs+ dancefloor action……and possibly mdma abuse.

    That’s an awful thing to do, especially if you have young kids.

    jonah tonto
    Member

    why don’t you go to see the prodigy while she is listening to that wet blanket? you could send the kids to the grandparents and bounce round the O2 until the early hrs. have a wail of a time and still have martial bliss?

    Premier Icon andybrad
    Subscriber

    I see where your coming from and i would be a little miffed as well. So i would embark on a little revenge shopping and book myself a weekend away somewhere in the summer (you can book it anything between now and the concert for max points usage) if she gets upset say well i was upset about missing out on nye with you so it will give me something to look forward to!

    job done, next!

    Premier Icon footflaps
    Subscriber

    I’ve be pretty pissed off if my wife did that.

    Junkyard
    Member

    I would be over the moon i did not have to attend with her then i would e-mail somafunk

    The real issue is she ignored your feelings about family and put her fun with her friends first. How pissed off you are about this is your call but I do think you have a bit of a point tbh

    homer
    Member

    It all depends on how she plans to make it up to you.

    Premier Icon somafunk
    Subscriber

    You’d be welcome Junkyard, Andrew Weatherall this New Year, with the usual (cough)after party shenanigans(cough) dragging us well into New Years Day or beyond.

    toemul
    Member

    With ecstasy and plenty of wizz I could listen Garry and love it and a few of the mums there to.

    toppers3933
    Member

    If my wife asked me if i minded then when I said yes she did it anyway, I’d be **** livid. And she’d know all about it. If she then accused me of being unreasonable the shit would really hit the fan. Simple. but then i know it would never happen.

    mudshark
    Member

    No way would my wife even consider doing this but yeah I’d be v angry – asking then ignoring is not what marriage is about.

    falkirk-mark
    Member

    I would ask her if she minded me going to Spain for an MTB holiday with mates and then book it anyway.HTH

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