Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 69 total)
  • I’m in need of some support from you lot (Sad content I’m afraid)
  • MrOvershoot
    Full Member

    Tomorrow at 1pm is my wife’s funeral.

    Carolyn fought her MS with a courage I don’t have, but sadly in the end Aspiration Pneumonia took her remaining strength away.

    We had been together for 37 years so its a lot of memories.
    I have written a tribute that I will be reading at the service and the only 2 who have read it have ended up in tears 🙁 its only just over 3 minutes long and isn’t a biography.

    I just need a bit of psychological help from you lot out there to stop me from dissolving in tears or any advice you can give me


    Free Member

    Not sure I can offer anything useful other than, dissolving into tears really isn’t a bad thing.

    Free Member

    Breathe and practise. Beautiful blue eyes she has.

    Free Member

    Terribly sorry to here about this. I can’t think of anything suitable in the way of advice but I’m sure however it turns out it will be totally appropriate to the moment.
    I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.

    Full Member

    dissolving into tears really isn’t a bad thing.

    This. You will be among people who love you. There is no shame in normal, healthy, human responses to a terrible event like this.

    My condolences. Look after yourself.

    Full Member

    I did the same at my twin sisters funeral in front of 200 family and friends. Deep breath remember the good bits. And if you start to lose it, think of her smiling in front of you.

    My deepest condolences. MS is a dreadful disease.

    Free Member

    You’re only human.

    Sorry for your loss, sending a hug.

    Stay strong and it’s normal to cry.

    Full Member

    So sorry to hear, MrO. For what it’s worth, your years of occasional mentions of this have also been laden with a fair bit of dignity (and fortitude and a lot of “sacrifice” too, though no doubt you’ll deny this to yourself)

    Tears seem fine to me – I’m sure you’ll do her proud

    Full Member

    So very sorry for your loss.  We lost my Auntie Lyn to MS – it seems to affect the best of us…

    I know it won’t help you much, but I have made a small donation to the MS Society in the hope that it will support people like your wife and in time help find better treatment.

    I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

    Take care,


    Full Member

    Perfectly normal for you to be feeling this way as I’d be the same under those circumstances, its a natural emotional response. Cherish those memories and hopefully the pain will diminish in time – sorry for your loss.

    Full Member

    I can’t add to what scaredypants said.

    So sorry Mr O, she looks lovely. Best of luck for tomorrow.

    Full Member

    So sorry, you have my deepest condolences. There is nothing wrong with crying, just do the best you can on the day. Wish there was more I could say. Take care

    Full Member

    Do the best you can, your family understand. Best wishes.

    Free Member

    Omg this is so sad.

    Tears are what funerals are for, it’s ok. You’ll get to the end because you have to, don’t worry about how dusty the room is!

    Ming the Merciless
    Free Member

    Man hugs at you.  It’s OK to cry.

    Full Member

    So sorry for your loss.

    Cry. And take your time. There’s no rush and no-one will have anywhere better to be.

    Free Member

    Beautiful lady, sorry for your loss. I think tears are inevitable, is there someone who could stand beside you for moral support or someone you could prime to take over if the going gets too tough?

    Free Member

    Nothing to add but this. When I did this for my mum, I agreed with the vicar that he would check with me just before. A shake or a nod of the head. A shake and he would read it out instead. I nodded, managed to get through it and was glad I did. Best wishes.

    Free Member


    Free Member

    You loved her,you wrote it for her, read it to her. Don’t bother about anybody else( they will all be rooting for you anyway.) Good luck.

    Full Member

    Really sorry to hear this, my sincerest condolences. Just cry, it’s OK. I did. Most people there were too. I think with everyone’s emotions no one will notice if you are or not. I had a poem I wrote read out for me as I didn’t think I could do it, think it was the right move at the time. Will be thinking of you all tomorrow.

    My Mum has severe MS too and has sadly declined greatly over the past few years. Permanently wheelchair bound and needs 2 carers at all times.

    Email address is hoodahell AT hotmail DOT co DOT uk
    Happy to give you my mobile too if you need a chat, whether it’s now, tomorrow or any point in the future.

    Full Member

    I think it’s ok to cry at your wife’s funeral. Just do the best you can.

    Full Member

    Tough tough job that. Be strong and remember the good days.

    Free Member

    Not sure I have much to add to the comments above. Just bear in mind that everyone there is on your side, and that it’s normal to cry.

    I’ve also realised I’m just down the road from you. Feel free to reach out if you need to get out for a ride soon.

    Full Member

    More virtual manhugs here. As others have said, there’s no shame in crying.

    Full Member

    So sorry for your loss, and what a brave and beautiful thing to do. I think, from a delivery point of view, familiarity with the content is normally the best antidote to emotional attachment – rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. But what you’re doing is a long, long way from normal, and I think it’s fair to acknowledge that the emotional link is going to be impossible to break. I would want to do it as cleanly as possible too, so I would find myself a place on my own to go read it out over and again, but I would also be prepared to accept that emotion that raw isn’t something you can just rub out with a bit of practice (nor should you necessarily want to) – even if you can read it out to an empty room today, it will be far more intense tomorrow.

    Prepare to do your best. But be prepared for it not to go as you’d hope, and don’t in any way be fearful of that either – you will be amongst people who love you both and who will be supportive no matter how it turns out. I’ll be thinking of you all tomorrow.

    Full Member

    Have another virtual man hug and reassurance that crying at your wife’s funeral is More or less expected by all attending. A workmate lost his wife of 40 years, barely a dry eye in the house as he did his wife’s eulogy.

    Take care of yourself.


    Free Member

    I cant offer much help, other than best wishes and manhugs.

    You’ve been strong for a long time, you are allowed a little wobble.

    Free Member

    Sincerest condolences.

    No words can replace the memories in circumstances like this, so I can only offer this:

    Remember the good and bad times you shared.

    That won’t help, but she’s worth more than mere words.


    Free Member

    I can’t imagine what that will feel like.

    I’ll advise prep. Have tissues in your hand ready. Deep breaths. Read it to her. Possibly get a tag team set up if you can’t carry on ask someone in advance if they will step in it won’t lessen what you wrote and no one will mind and they will know its your words.

    Its so okay to show you’re sad at such a time. Its also possible you’ll breeze through it and it will hit you later thats okay too. There are no rules for this stuff.

    Take care of yourself and let others take of you. Good luck.

    Full Member

    The wisest words I heard at my nan’s funeral were when the minister said it was OK to cry.

    The entire front row, who’d been holding it together till then, promptly dissolved. And everyone understood, and no one minded, and once it was done, we were ok for the rest of the service and celebration.

    There will be tears, and that is fine.

    Look after yourself and ask for help whenever you feel that you need it.

    Full Member

    Good luck tomorrow and for the future Mr O.

    Free Member

    I read a short piece at my younger brothers funeral 6 years ago.
    Take a bottle of water up with you, if you start loosing it, pause, sip of water and a deep breath.
    Everyone expects you to cry, but everyone is willing you to get through it.
    Good luck and sorry for your loss, life is shit sometimes.

    Full Member

    Lots of love and hugs from all of my clan to you and yours – bloody amazing thing you are doing tomorrow.

    Whatever you do, you will be awesome. Everyone there will love both it, and you.

    Full Member

    CCM will all be with you in thought if not in person.
    Be strong for Lady C.

    Full Member

    I am here to also offer my condolences, a virtual hug and offer of a ride some time.
    I hope tomorrow goes well – I hope your take comfort from those around you. I was a ball of tears at my mum’s, as everyone says we can all cry and celebrate a life in one go.

    Free Member

    I’m sorry for your loss. Like other people have said, don’t worry about crying. Everyone there will be supportive.

    Remember this forum is full of supportive people. If you need to talk we’re here to listen and help.

    Full Member

    So sorry to read this MrOvershoot. Just be kind to yourself and do what you feel is right.

    Take care.

    Full Member

    I wrote something for my dad’s funeral. There was one line that I cracked at every time and I considered skipping it on the day. I didn’t, I cried and I’m glad I did.

    Full Member

    Thanks so much all of you, usually I’m a confident public speaker but this is a whole leap away from what I’ve done before!

    I’ve not posted much on here for a while as Carolyn was taken in to hospital on the 24th July and I went through the whole gamut of emotions during the next few months.

    I guess being her carer as well as her husband has cut such a hole in my life that I have felt almost guilty that I’m still here and she’s not?
    Sorry I’m going to post a few more pictures as I could never believe such a beautiful girl would want to marry me!

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 69 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.