Yesterday I had the hotpot from the canteen and it gave me the rampant shits for most of the late afternoon and evening. I slept really badly due to the stomach cramps and the small bowl of muesli that I had for breakfast has given me heartburn so bad that it actually hurts to breathe. And the heating in the office is knackered, meaning that it’s effing freezing in here.

**** shit bollocks **** **** piss 🙁

Genuine commiserations. I’d write something funny to cheer you up, but I can’t think of anything. Then again, I seldom can.

Punch the dinner lady to the ground.

are there others similarly affected?

You have a canteen 😯 luxury!!

don’t try to burp or fart

Make yourself some cheese on toast oh bad-moody one. Nothing negative can survive the ingestion of cheese on toast with Worcester sauce. Its a scientifically proven fact

A good cr@p normally sorts me out.

shit bollocks

you need wet wipes

One word:

SICK DAY.

too late tho.

No DO try and fart. Then let us know the consequences of the aforementioned suggestion. Then it really will be a SHIT day!

That sounds pretty rubbish. I’m in a bad mood too. Grumbletrackworld?

i was in a bad mood all morning for reasons outwith my control

had a conferance call with my bosses to relay the bad news – shipping agent couldnt deliver to the country im in – and they had the only set of the kit i needed in the world….

made the call , got the ok its not your fault nothing you could have done speach.

off the phone 20 minutes …. suddenly had a brain fart. made a call to our engineers , managed to find almost identical kit that needed minor rework in aberdeen – i have someone flying to me tomorrow with the kit and im going to rework it here. So now im having one of the best days ive had in this country ! WOOOOO

TR, sounds like Q will be appearing with a DB9 with machine guns on it?

Or Dave from the workshop with some pump/valve/filter thing? 😉

Try spending £1500 on glasses for them to be:
a) the incorrect prescription in the right eye
b) the lenses are not the unltra thin ones I ordered
c) been told “we don’t have any cases, can you make do with this??
d) and then for them to be crushed in the case by the Dispensing OpTom
e) told to come back when they have more time to deal with my concerns and the scratch they’ve just put in the left lens from crushing them

But on a scale of shitting my pants, this little tantrum I’m having pales into insignificance.

£1500 on glasses

I think I’d rather poo my pants, tbh.

If your still in a bad mood read the thread on here called “Funny things children say” it’s hilarious and might take your mind off things. Enjoy.
Maybe read it while on the toilet tho!

it’s hilarious

I suspect a belly laugh might have unforseen consequences?

its a bit like that cynic-al but you have no idea how much shit i was getting from client and management because of it.

Those glasses, they’ve aheads up display in them, or letraset.. I can make out the letters:
M
U
G

Have yet to figure out what it means..

Oh the price of being vain. 😆

I sincerely hope you took your concerns to the canteen staff – in a plastic bag!

mr potatohead – Member

don’t try to burp or fart
..at least try not to follow through

I’m trying to be sympathetic, I realy am. Just think, if you were PAYE you would have gon home.

Not very helpful but….

Try eating 3 spoonfuls of bisto………..it wont cure the shits, but it will make it thicker! 😉

Aaaaahhhhhhh bisto….

My Wife rang me at work while I was up to my eyes in it and told me she just walked out of her job

We are already broke..

Feel free to take a crap in HER pants

You came to work within 48 hours of having the trots?

Your still at work when you say there is no heating?

You came to work within 48 hours of having the trots?

Always best to make sure you touch as many door handles, kettles etc without hand washing to ensure as many of your colleagues as possible get it.

Dancake – Member
… up to my eyes in it…

I hope not directly related to IHN 😯

Just think, if you were PAYE you would have gon home.

It was that bad, I did.

An afternoon of monging on the sofa under a duvet watching Felix Bumgardener jump from space and all is well in the world 🙂