😯

Back to the OP. Just tried to buy 2 bottles of red for tonight, but the police have slapped a ban on Tesco selling me more than one bottle because of the concert.

Pah.

Buy a box, and 2 straws.

If you can’t get a ticket, just sit in the shower in your muddy riding gear, ripping up fivers and drinking warm fizzy lager whilst listening to ELO, Status Quo and your least favourite Beatles tracks all at the same time.

If you have access to a gibbon, get it to shout at you incomprehensibly as well, just to get the full effect.

Saw the Pope at Heaton Park years ago and he had a better voice than Liam.

Most overated band of all time. Saw them at the GMEX years ago – they were awful.

No offence to ELO, Quo or the Beatles intended BTW. 😀

Access to a gibbon? LOL

They wouldn’t sell me one of them either.

Just get some oven chimps instead. 😀

Boom Tschhh! I’m here all week.

‘How you Diddling? …Bloody Sod Ya Then….I’ve been sleeping in the Jag, on tablets for me nerves etc etc.’

No, an orangutan is far more fun.

gibbons? Orangutans?

Oh, no no no. What’s wrong wi’ yer pigeons?