• This topic has 89 replies, 53 voices, and was last updated 13 years ago by hora.
Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 90 total)
  • I’ll shoot your dog….
  • andym
    Free Member

    besides, there are two halves of essex. divided by the a12. the southern half, where i grew up and where the old man is from is ****. southend, PITsea, basildon, lakeside, grays, tilbury. it’s where the stillettos and hand bags, XR3i boy racer image comes from.
    the northern half, where my mum insists she comes from is actually rather nice. saffron walden, finchingfield, the abbotts, the walthams. lots of quaint village pubs, thatched houses and village greens.
    chelmsford lays directly on the a12, although my mum would argue it is slighty to the north, therefore better. i would say it’s a mix of the two, but more southy than nothern. but an improvement on grays. god that is ****.

    Well maybe, but I bet they have shift keys on their computers and know how to use them.

    curtisthecat
    Free Member

    Basildon… doesn’t Depeche Mode come from there?

    robdob
    Free Member

    i’ve no idea what was going on. probably had a little stove or kettle or something….

    I’ve never been that desperate for a cuppa……

    Might have been one of those plug in steamer things for veg you get at Christmas and never use.

    5thElefant
    Free Member

    I’ll walk my dog through sheep at heel. He’s been trained from a puppy to ignore sheep.

    One time the local farmer shouted that he could shoot my dog if I didn’t put it on a lead. So I popped the lead on (his field, his rules as far as I’m concerned) and he said… “Thanks very much” and gave me a cheery wave.

    I found it quite funny (the treat of violence to friendly in seconds). Could have gone very badly for someone if he picked the wrong person though (especially the dog).

    piedidiformaggio
    Free Member

    Basildon, now that is a bit grim. Yes Depeche Mode hark from that area, as does Alison Moyet.

    Chelmsford was the birthplace af radio. Marconi sent his first transmission there.

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    K
    Full Member

    It’s lambing time starting now. So expect your dog to be shot if it is worrying sheep.

    Police have told my parents in the past to shoot dogs causing a problem.

    DrJ
    Full Member

    Seems reasonable to me. IMO all dogs should be shot. Dealing with the ones worrying sheep is a small step in the right direction.

    alpin
    Free Member

    yeah i got shift key too. i used it with pitsea to emphasise how it’s the pits. although many places in the south are not worthy of big letters. that and i’m lazy and not applying for a job at this moment in time.

    my cousin used to have the same dentist as keith from the prodigy. they’re mostly from braintree, although that is also mostly crappy albeit north of the ‘divide’.

    maldon is ok and that is south of a12 so it isn’t so cut and thrust.

    i worked in the marconi building once…as a cleaner. got fired. was so happy… i mean gutted.

    aracer
    Free Member

    Bit harsh on the sheep, shooting them because they’re worried about Dogs. Perhaps commas never made it past the farm gate?

    How exactly did you manage to wring that meaning out of it, and where exactly do you think the comma should be, mr pedant?

    alpin
    Free Member

    BEWARE Dogs worrying sheep may be shot

    no need for a comma. prehaps a hyphen after sheep.

    MrNutt
    Free Member

    I see no problem there, pfft city folk eh?

    RudeBoy
    Free Member

    What’s a sheep? 😯

    chakaping
    Free Member

    Posh Spice is from Hertfordshire actually, went to school with her.

    The area we are both from is culturally indistinguishable from Essex though.

    🙂

    RudeBoy
    Free Member

    She was born in Harlow! That’s in Essex!!!!!!

    Harlow… you know the word ‘Harlot’, well….have you ever wondered where it originated? 🙄

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    Obviously the sign writer was concerned that his (or her) sign should be clearly understood, otherwise he (or she) would not have gone to the trouble of putting : ‘dog(s)’

    I suggest that instead of : ‘ BEWARE Dog(s) worrying sheep may be shot ‘

    He (or she) replaces the sign with one saying : ‘BEWARE : Dogs which worry sheep may be shot ‘

    That would clear up any possible misunderstanding.

    Although I suggest that the country bumpkin who wrote the sign, employs the services of an educated townie to deal with complex issues surrounding the Queens’ English.

    SiB
    Free Member

    Maybe my wife has seen that sign and is going to use it in her defence….apparently she always worries about me!

    hora
    Free Member

    What do you expect from a Pikey place like Essex?

    +5,346

    Why not put a sign underneath. ‘This is Essex mate, shoot my dog and I’ll shoot you and your dog(s)’

    julianwilson
    Free Member

    re: Original Post: plenty of farms round here would do likewise. I won’t bother repeating previous comments about pregnant ewes and otherwise nice family dogs ‘smelling blood’ as it were, but it wouldn’t suprise or alarm me to see that anywhere in SW.

    My brother-in-law farms sheep (700-odd plus whatever lambs they pop out) in Buckinghamshire, with a public footpath through his land. I must get round to asking him how many lambs or even ewes he has lost to overexcited dogs off leads. And how many he’s actually had to shoot.

    hora
    Free Member

    Can’t threaten Foxes can he? Foxes can’t read. Me thinks in part its right of access and someone waving a stick subconsciously at people who have a right of way..

    JB405
    Free Member

    I can remember when “I were a lad” the police asking my father to shoot a Rottweiler that was rampaging some of the local farms and killing sheep. They couldn’t get any one from the firearms squad there and they knew that my father was an FAC holder, so effectively employed his services to dispatch the animal.

    He stalked it across fields on a quad bike until it stopped in the sand quarry at the back of our farm – last place it ever saw! I can still remember him saying it took longer to go down after he shot it than a Red Stag does.

    They can make one hell of a mess of any animal and tend to keep on doing it, which can be very costly to the farmers. As the old saying goes – Like a dog that’s tasted blood for the first time!

    MrSmith
    Free Member

    Can’t threaten Foxes can he? Foxes can’t read. Me thinks in part its right of access and someone waving a stick subconsciously at people who have a right of way.. “

    hora why don’t you have a day off from being thick?
    farmers will shoot foxes but will not bother warning them first and uncontrolled dogs are a real problem, that’s why it’s legal to shoot them.

    i know a 88 year old farmer (female) who’s livelihood depends on the amount of sheep she rears. losing lambs costs money which is why i am attending a fox shoot on her farm at the weekend.

    she postponed her hip operation so that it didn’t clash with lambing, she makes all you northern hardmen look like the mummies boys you really are.

    emac65
    Free Member

    Two 6 mth old Rottweilers,attacked a field of sheep by us the other week.They killed 6 & maimed several others that had to be killed because they had legs hanging off etc.Farmer phoned the police gave his name & told them what he was about to do.They said fine,you’re within your rights to do so….
    The dogs were owned by a neighbouring farmer !

    richc
    Free Member

    seems fair enough to me, if you don’t want your dog shot, keep it on the lead when in a field with sheep.

    If you are too much of a selfish **** to do that, then you shouldn’t really have a dog, so the farmer is helping you out.

    In an ideal world, if they farmer was forced to shoot a dog because it was worrying sheep, he would be able to claim compensation off the dog owner, and the RSPCA/Police should be able to ban the person from owning a dog again to stop stupid people causing unnecessary suffering to animals (sheep and dogs)

    Dorset_Knob
    Free Member

    Fair enough.

    Although it’s a pointless sign: responsible dog owners wouldn’t need reminding of the fact (I assume all farmers want to shoot my dogs anyway), and irresponsible dog owners would presumably clock the ’empty’ field and leave their dogs off-lead.

    Anyway, I’m not getting sucked in 🙂

    Dorset_Knob
    Free Member

    complex issues surrounding the Queens’ English.

    … like how to use the apostrophe?

    Dorset_Knob
    Free Member

    ‘BEWARE : Dogs which worry sheep may be shot ‘

    Trouble is, that now sounds like it was written by a nice, well educated young man.

    The original sign is more believable, conveying a slight menace in its disregard for the Queen’s English. I vote for keeping the sign in its original form – ‘vernacular farmer’ is more effective a voice than ‘poncy IT engineer grammar freak’.

    willard
    Full Member

    Touche.

    I like a nice discussion on grammar in the morning.

    DrJ
    Full Member

    He (or she) replaces the sign with one saying : ‘BEWARE : Dogs which worry sheep may be shot ‘

    Sure you don’t mean “Dogs that worry sheep”?

    RudeBoy
    Free Member

    Tsk.

    ‘Dogs what worry sheeps’.

    trademark
    Free Member

    ‘she makes all you northern hardmen look like the mummies boys you really are.’
    You don’t even know me. Presumptious Dickhead.

    takisawa2
    Full Member

    Totally fair.
    Even the most placid family dog can turn into a sheep killer.

    Its the same with horses, stupid chavs find it funny when good ol’ Satan the “Rotty” sends a horse ballistic & its poor rider gets thrown.

    MrSmith
    Free Member

    ‘she makes all you northern hardmen look like the mummies boys you really are.’
    You don’t even know me. Presumptious Dickhead.

    i guess your ‘northern’ and a bit of a ‘hardman’ then?
    i’m excited and a little bit hard for you.

    trademark
    Free Member

    If only you knew 🙂

    aracer
    Free Member

    If only you knew [:-)]

    Are you an 89 year old farmer?

    trademark
    Free Member

    LOL

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    A classic STW thread. Shooting, dogs, posturing, grammar….

    🙂

    mt
    Free Member

    Mr Smith, A fox shoot! What a waste, get after them with a pack of hounds.

    scu98rkr
    Free Member

    bere island

    chakaping
    Free Member

    Rudeboy – Only because our area is in the cachement area of the Princess Alex Hospital.

    I wish I could palm her off on Essex, really.

    I won’t hear a word against Harlow though, I did a two-year tour of duty on the local newspapers there and I did become attached to the place.

    Yes, it’s a hole, but a hole with some very nice people in it.

Viewing 40 posts - 41 through 80 (of 90 total)

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