I am going to ****ing scream and scream and scream until I am sick!

So when I say that both the server and the client need updating don’t just come back to me 3 times telling me that you have updated the server and it still no worky.

Is that clear ?

Wot, no backwards compatibility in the server update? Shame.

Turn it off and turn it back on again. No need to thank me*.

* I Know **** all about computer shit…..

…. then simply remove the engine….

Naff off.. men don’t need instructions. 😉

Says me who has just put a hozelock wall mounted hose reel together. I actually did consult the instructions but failed to read the big triangle warning sign telling me the handle can go on either side and once fitted is irreversible.

Guess who spent an hour this afternoon trying to reverse the irreversible handle that I’d put on the wrong side. 😳

Just mount it upsidedown.

Try teaching Primary school kids!
Sit down now. NO! don’t go and take his rubber. Sit down.

Can I have a server? 😆

… and a new pooter … 😛

Whilst we are at it don’t chase me for design drawings three times one day so I work into the evening and then tell me the next you have changed what bloody plant you are going to install 👿

End users. My job would be so much easier without them.

More so the customer’s non-techy guy who’s trying to install your software themselves rather than get their IT to do it properly (and set the right permissions etc). Add in the non-techy guy who decides to set up an Exchange server themselves also, then complain your software doesn’t work because the server isn’t configured right.

And fitting said engine is the reverse of removal…

End users.

This sums up many IT people’s approach to customers.

I have nothing constructive to add, other than to feel your pain.

Is the cable plugged in?

“Yes.”

Have you checked it?

“Yes.”

Twice?

“Yes.”

At both ends?

“Oh, completely coincidentally it’s just suddenly started working, bye!”

More so the customer’s non-techy guy who’s trying to install your software themselves rather than get their IT to do it properly

I’m potentially about to be dragged into a shitstorm at work because on a new project a customer refused to pay for engineering time for the install as they could do it themselves. Consequently it’s all gone sideways and the engineering skills required to fix it are exponentially more expensive than the skills required to install it.

Which we’ll probably give them free. *grinds teeth*

End users.

This sums up many IT people’s approach to customers.[/quote]

I take your point, and some IT ‘professionals’ are certainly guilty of lofty contempt, but it’s borne from decades of experience. My first job in IT was providing telephone support to end users who were “my first computer” buyers in the early 90s. Those surely-an-urban-myth “cup holder” stories, they’re all true, I have a hundred of them. I’ll happily share if anyone’s interested.

I would never judge or criticise someone because of their technical inexperience, but it transgresses beyond IT and into common sense. “I got an error message” – “ok, what did it say?” – “I don’t know, I don’t understand that technical shit so I closed it.” Um, you don’t have to understand it, that’s what I’m here for, you just have to read it. You can read, can’t you?

It’s the same mentality as “I’ve just bought this, is it any good?” Well, if it’s not then it’s a bit late now.

Mate?

Yeah?

Would you mind not playing with yourself when the female staff enter your room? There’s nowt wrong with it, just let us know when you want a bit of privacy and we’ll leave you alone for a bit, ok?

Ok. Can I smoke now?

No mate, have a look around, where are we? Yep, you’re having a shower. Yes, it is funny, but stop laughing or you’ll choke etc….

Five minutes later.
Fapfapfapfap, screams from the agency girl, chaos ensues etc etc..
🙂

over share Rusty??

Why they no risten?
Sirry iriots.

I honestly have no idea what a server is.

I honestly have no idea what a server is.

It’s what Americans call a waitress.

Zippy – call me on Monday, you won’t be the only one.

Had this yesterday

“The values wrong in the box”

Have you changed the battery type?

No, do we need to ?

Grinds teeth…….Yes, that’s the whole point of the job

Where do we do that?

On page 6, it’s clearly labelled on the screen grab as to how you do it.

No it’s not……..

It’s the second arrowed box down (sighs)

Oh, do we have to change that?

Resists urge to be very sarcastic…….Yes

Oh look the the values changed!

RTFM

I’m membership secretary for a club. Currently sending out dinner invites, the email states:

“Please make cheques payable to XXXX. Send any correspondence regarding the dinner to dinner@xxxxx.yyy” (different email address to mine)

The dinner invite contains the same information.

Sure enough 30% reply to me asking who to make the cheque payable to! 🙄

I sent an email out the other day with an access database front end attached and gave detailed instructions to delete the current front end of their desktop (giving the exact name), and dragging the new front end attachment to the desktop. The email contained a list of updates to the front end including new queries, reports etc.. Cue 7 or 8 emails from people saying that this wasn’t in or that wasn’t in or the reports I said I’d made weren’t there. Had they followed the instructions and replaced the old with the new? Had they bollocks!

I’ve had to explain how to change the damn printer ribbons and toners goodness knows how many times to the office manager and she still doesn’t understand that toners are on an automatic reorder when they hit 30%, she still emails me about “not having spares”! Gah!

End users.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rksCTVFtjM4[/video]

(not that I work in tech support, but development is similar and involves dealing with customer issues also).

Poor. Lacks random capitalisation and insufficient bad language. Use of bold a nice touch, though suggests over thought.

group of us going to RAF Fairford , but want to sit out the back by the fence . So we are going to cycle to the airshow from a village about 3 miles away.
You need 2 things for this . 1 is an airshow. 2 is a bike.
Yep, one guy rocks up with no bike.

Wife needs (another) new hip

Appt comes through

Can’t do, as 2 weeks before holiday

Can we re-arrange?

Letter comes through saying she’s cancelled as she no longer wants it

Calls to say she does want it

Date comes through, almost same as first one

More phone calls

Receives letter saying discharged

Phone calls

Needs to be referred again to get in the system

GP won’t refer, stating ‘too young’ – she’s already had one FFS

Finally gets re-reffered

Date comes through – guess what?

Aaaarrrggghhh – this is all down to one particular Dr’s secretary