If a suicide bomber…

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  • If a suicide bomber…
  • Duffer
    Member

    I’d have to read up to be sure; i seem to remember she’ll be reincarnated as a blue-jay, and will be able to sit and listen to her village elders reciting passages from the Koran.

    Might be wrong, though.

    qwerty
    Member
    CountZero
    Member

    Qwerty, is that with the batteries included?

    Junkyard
    Member

    What does she have to look forward to…?

    Is it you respecting her right to work as an assistant referee/lineswoman…well you got have a dream eh

    qwerty
    Member

    is that with the batteries included?

    Mains operated, it’s heaven innit.

    loddrik
    Member

    Is it you respecting her right to work as an assistant referee/lineswoman…well you got have a dream eh

    Keep trying buddy, you’ll get there eventually… 🙄

    Raisins, innit?

    CountZero
    Member

    Mains operated, it’s heaven innit.

    Of course! Silly me. 😉

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    I never understood why 99 virgins (it’s 72 actually) was considered an ultimate reward.

    a) after 72 sessions you’d run out of virgins, and

    b) who the hell wants 72 nervous, inexperienced partners? Now, 72 sluts, I’d be tempted to strap on the TNT myself.

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    In seriousness,

    As I understand it, the ‘virgins’ reward is supposed to go to all males (along with a permanent erection to cope with them), irrespective of the nature of their check-out. What women get, or even if they go to ‘heaven,’ I’ve absolutely no idea. Anyone know?

    Mr_C
    Member

    72 Virgins you say.


    No, Thanks

    CaptJon
    Member

    In some places the family of the bomber get money to support them. It isn’t just about the afterlife.

    loddrik
    Member

    I never understood why 99 virgins (it’s 72 actually) was considered an ultimate reward.
    a) after 72 sessions you’d run out of virgins, and
    b) who the hell wants 72 nervous, inexperienced partners? Now, 72 sluts, I’d be tempted to strap on the TNT myself.

    😆

    Junkyard
    Member

    Keep trying buddy, you’ll get there eventually.

    Nope not getting yor point tbh? What is it?

    it’s 72 actually

    this is what the prophet [ not in the Koran] said awaited everyone in heaven and it was wifes and it also included 8000 servants and it is the least reward
    we are having a scholarly debate aren’t we?

    Just seen your edit so a bit redundant now

    loddrik
    Member

    In seriousness,
    As I understand it, the ‘virgins’ reward is supposed to go to all males (along with a permanent erection to cope with them), irrespective of the nature of their check-out. What women get, or even if they go to ‘heaven,’ I’ve absolutely no idea. Anyone know?

    An eternity free of persecution maybe…

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Googling would suggest that in Paradise, “Women shall derive benefit from what they acquired” and that “they shall have whatever they wish with their Lord.”

    Seems that women are a bit of a P.S. in the Qur’an, “oh yeah, they’ll be ok too”, but sounds to me like they get the better deal.

    loddrik
    Member

    … blows himself up, he believes that he’ll now get 99 virgins in paradise (there’s your insecure male fantasy right there) or some suchlike. What if the suicide bomber was female, I’m guessing she’s not so hung up on the promise of multiple sexual partners without any possible previous sexual history. What does she have to look forward to…?

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    we are having a scholarly debate aren’t we?

    Well, I expect the typical Four Phase STW Thread™.

    Phase 1) Someone starts a humorous thread.

    Phase 2) A serious, mature and sensible discussion breaks out.

    Phase 3) Someone takes umbrage, and it descends into arguing and squabbles.

    Phase 4) I take the hump and close the file.

    We’re transitioning between phases 1) and 2) currently.

    oliverd1981
    Member

    72 virgins to last you all eternity – and they’ll only be virgins once…

    I guess the aim of a lady martyr would be not to die a virgin.

    Where are all these virgins being killed? I’m surprised they can keep up with demand.

    edit: eternity – not maternity – although for a virgin they last the same amount of time

    I work alongside a Muslim prison officer & a while ago this question came up about 72 virgins etc & his response was ‘It’s a pile of bollox’.
    So now you know.

    (actually, I’m not sure cos Faz, or ‘Fiz’ as we call him, gets drunk quite often, which is BAAD, for a Muslim)

    Junkyard
    Member

    We’re transitioning between phases 1) and 2) currently.

    Speak for yourself I am at three already 😉

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    this question came up about 72 virgins etc & his response was ‘It’s a pile of bollox’.

    I’m no expert, but I’m fairly sure he’s wrong.

    piemonster
    Member

    Eternity, it’s a terribly long time really. 72 wouldn’t be enough.

    piemonster
    Member

    I mean, what the hell else are you supposed to do for that long.

    I’d end up with a jigsaw puzzle the size if Yorkshire just for something to do.

    samuri
    Member

    As I understand it, the ‘virgins’ reward is supposed to go to all males (along with a permanent erection to cope with them), irrespective of the nature of their check-out. What women get, or even if they go to ‘heaven,’ I’ve absolutely no idea. Anyone know?

    An eternity free of persecution maybe…

    I was going to say ‘get treated like equal human beings’ but then I realised this is religion we’re talking about. Never mind.

    I’m no expert, but I’m fairly sure he’s wrong.

    He’s not a very good Muslim to be fair, so he could be wrong. I’m not saying he’s got a drink problem but he does go on the ‘lads nights out & leaving do’s’.
    Just do NOT tell his Mum, she’d be livid if she found out about his alcohol consumption.
    To me though he’s one of the boyz. 😆

    retro83
    Member

    Who says the virgins are female anyway?

    To me though he’s one of the boyz.

    Is there beach volleyball? Lots of high fiving and bum slapping?

    proteus
    Member

    I’m no expert, but I’m fairly sure he’s wrong.
    um, I’m with Faz (or Fiz) it’s definitely bollox.

    Premier Icon zippykona
    Subscriber

    retro83 – Member
    Who says the virgins are female anyway?

    POSTED 3 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

    Or human.

    Heaven sounds so Lame… dressed in white, hanging out with virgins, do-gooders and martyrs… yawn!

    I bet its only “designated trails” as well.

    dressed in white, hanging out with virgins, do-gooders and martyrs… yawn!

    Apple Store?

    Is there beach volleyball? Lots of high fiving and bum slapping?

    Yep, loads!

    athgray
    Member

    I would hope the CSA are forgiving in paradise.
    If you want more virgins you will have to become a serial offender. The virgin rate increases on a logarithmic scale! 🙂

    Premier Icon slowoldgit
    Subscriber

    Do the poor girls get any choice? It’s like – we have this scrawny little bloke with no education, an excessive interest in guns and making loud bangs, and an awful lot of scar tissue, or you can have this one, scrawny little bloke…

    eskay
    Member

    … blows himself up, he believes that he’ll now get 99 virgins in paradise (there’s your insecure male fantasy right there) or some suchlike. What if the suicide bomber was female, I’m guessing she’s not so hung up on the promise of multiple sexual partners without any possible previous sexual history. What does she have to look forward to…?

    Just goes to show the power of brain washing religion. Those of weak minds……

    Religion – the root of all evil.

    AdamW
    Member

    What happens if a gay Muslim blows himself up? 72 hunky virgins? 72 hunky walls?

    oliverd1981
    Member

    What happens if a gay Muslim blows himself up?

    Probably doesn’t get into “heaven”, I’m pretty sure being gay rules that out.

    Extremist heaven is probably full of dudes waiting for somebody to think on and blow up a double-decker full of virgins with their exact same idealogy..

    I’d end up with a jigsaw puzzle the size if Yorkshire just for something to do

    You would already be a jigsaw puzzle spread out of an area the size of Yorkshire…

    knightrider
    Member

    You would already be a jigsaw puzzle spread out of an area the size of Yorkshire…

    ^^^^now that was a genuine lol ^^^^^

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 48 total)

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