The ‘problem’ is a lack of screening between mine and my neighbour’s garden. There’s an elderly lady (80’ish) who lives with her creepy son and he seems to faff around in the garden tending the roses.

I want some privacy, particularly when I am sunbathing in my bikini, but am unsure as to who is responsible for the rather wobbly fence. Would be prepared to pay to replace it as I suspect the privacy thing doesn’t bother them.

Thing is … how do I approach this without causing offence?

I look forward to your helpful and amusing ideas. 😀

bored too ? 😉

😆

Too Jewish maybe? You could always get Banksy to come and do his business on it. So to speak

first find out who owns the fence – its on the deeds.

then if its yours just rip it down and put up what you want.

Um, why not just carry on doing what you want to do; the whole ‘I must have my privacy’ thing strikes me as a peculiarly English affliction.

Or go round and say I’m putting a fence up.

Would be prepared to pay to replace it as I suspect the privacy thing doesn’t bother them.

Flip side of the coin…..

Maybe they don’t want a massive great big fence casing a shade in their nice garden.

Personally I hate high fences. As you know our house has 4 neighbours in the back garden. The only ones we’ve never spoken to are the ones with the high fence……
Our last neighbour did it too, for ‘privacy’, It’s bollox. If I wanted to see into his garden I could do it much better from upstairs, fence or no fence, but it ruined the look of our garden, and it’s anti-social IMO

[/devils advocate]

Out in your bikini in the middle of oct 😯

Just put a fence up on your side of the boundary.

Perhaps you should ask them if they mind you replacing the old fence? Just say you think its ugly and worn down/rotting whatever? Bit of home improvement?

Just put a fence up on your side of the boundary.

That’s what our neighbours did. It’s really horrible to look at. He put a trellis on top of it too, so I started growing climbing plants on it. He took the trellis off then………..

You could just put your own fence up just inside the existing fence – that’s what our strange neighbours did instead of talking to us about the joint fence!

That’s what our neighbours did. It’s really horrible to look at. He put a trellis on top of it too, so I started growing climbing plants on it. He took the trellis off then………..

Beat me. Ditto.

PP Makes a fair point. If creepy son is watching you from his bedroom, well….. you never know what he’s upto. But you could probably guess

At least if he’s doing that in the garden it’d be fairly apparent, and you could hit it with a stick or summink

I think I know how to deal with this in a way that will prevent any offence being taken by anyone.

..but I need to see a pic of you in your bikini to be sure

If you have a dog, then it’s easy enough to say that you don’t want Bouncer to act eponymously and arrive next door. As you say, it’s a wobbly fence.

If you don’t have a dog, then:

(a) you should get one anyway (they’re great, honest)

(b) you could always tell your neighbour that you’re planning to. When quizzed 3 months later, you can always say that the plan (you were going to take that naughty puppy from your Aunt Maisie, remember) fell through for some unspecified reason.

Go and speak tot hem and say
I wish to replace the fence with a new one as it is old and tatty. I would like to replace it with a fence – show picture /describe etc.
Say the deeds will show whether it is their responsibility to do this or your but you are willing to pay for this and ask if it is ok to do this.
Dont mention the creepy son.
If they disagree see your deeds and do it anyway if it is “yours”.
IIRC you can do it inside the boundary line on your side up to 2 m high anyway so it is a bit of a moot point

the whole ‘I must have my privacy’ thing strikes me as a peculiarly English affliction.

as far as i could make out the Swedish idea of a fence was about 3 inches tall. (though that maybe just a Gothenburg suburb thing)

the old girl probably isnt that impressed with you sunbathing in your bikini so why not have a few goes naked & she’ll probably put up a new fence herself!

We’ve got a massive beech hedge on the front too, that the last owener(s) let get out of hand.

It’s 7-8 ft high.

Soon it’s chainsaw time, and it’ll be 3-4ft high, then when I have the money it’s coming out all together, and a low wall or fence going in.

I like to be able to see out, and have light come back in, too.

Don’t bother with a fence ,just wear this for a while 🙂

IIRC you can do it inside the boundary line on your side up to 2 m high anyway so it is a bit of a moot point

Yes, maybe you CAN….. but SHOULD you?

It’s a horrible, horrible, horrible thing to do to your neighbours. It’s THE best way in the world to annoy them and make them dislike you.

Why not just talk to the bloke over the fence? He’s probably really nice, and you might make a friend. Why shut yourself off from the world?

There’s an elderly lady (80’ish) who lives with her creepy son and he seems to faff around in the garden tending the roses.

I think you might be my next door but one neighbour!
Just to confirm it does he have Tourettes and did your husband catch him recently masturbating in his front garden?

Oh and generally speaking if you are looking out into your back garden the boundary on the right is your responsibility.

Knock on and tell the old biddy that her creepy son is perving at you?

Try “oi, Grumpowski, your pervy retarded son keeps looking at my norks. Get him to put up a proper fence or I’m gonna poke his eyes out with a rusty pitch fork”

No thanks necessary, I’ve got to dash off to the middle east after sorting out a couple of issues for a silly minister or two.

Toodle-pip.

Why not just talk to the bloke over the fence? He’s probably really nice, and you might make a friend. Why shut yourself off from the world?

If you’re really lucky he might nip round and shag you every now and again.

Peter ..good call

He might start wearing this

What a hoot 😆

Brilliant, I knew I could rely on you guys. 8)

Take pp’s advice…

Why not just talk to the bloke over the fence? He’s probably really nice, and you might make a friend.

😉

FWIW we did the thing where we put a 6′ fence inside the boundary. Worked well for us, but it’s a pretty extreme solution.

avdave2 eeeeeuuuuuwwww

really? that’s gross

Bikini you say? Pics or it didn’t happen…. 😉

Do you only wear your bikini in private then? 😯 Not at the public beach/swimming baths?

lives with her creepy son and he seems to faff around in the garden tending the roses

I live with my mum and like to help with the garden because she can’t always do so due to her osteoarthritis. Sometimes I just wear my bib shorts, straps up of course; whilst sporting a rather fetching pair of orange gardening gloves. I will not look around in future and only go out on overcast days. Sorry if I offended any self conscious sun bathers in the past.

I will admit I am quite creepy though 😉

Pete, yeah you’re right – this privacy thing is oh so British so may be I’m just getting paranoid. Don’t get rid of your hedge though cos it’s nice and probably the wildlife appreciate it. That would have taken donkey’s years to grow.

Actually the dog suggestion is a good one – yep, it’s gonna be a big hound so a 6′ fence should do the trick. 😉

As regards the s**g***g, ugh. 😯

cinnamon_girl thank you lucky stars that you don’t live next to me

Chez CGs earlier 🙂

particularly when I am sunbathing in my bikini

Pete, yeah you’re right – this privacy thing is oh so British so may be I’m just getting paranoid. Don’t get rid of your hedge though cos it’s nice and probably the wildlife appreciate it. That would have taken donkey’s years to grow.

Privacy? It’s more than that, it’s anti social IMO. Be nice to them, talk to them over the fence, make friends!

Hedge – It’s as good as gone. We’ve already hacked 1/2 the width off it so people can actually use the pavement, and this winter I’m loppng the top half off it, then next year it’s new drive and new fence/wall time with a bit of luck.

It’s alright saying that, but you don’t have to cut it, you don’t have to sweep the bags and bags of leaves up, and for 7 months of a year there’s not a leaf on it and it looks DREADFUL. My nickname for it is ‘the hedge of dead’.

I want to be able to park the car without scratching it on the hedge and to be able to see down the road out of my front window.

I serioulsly HATE that hedge, like I hated the 4 big 15+ft conifers that used to be in our back garden. The neightbours across the back thanked us for taking those down as their garden then had some light! And that was when we made friends with them, spookily…. when we could actually SEE them!

If I was Prime Minister, I’d ban garden hedges and walls over 3ft high.

Buy a windbreak. You can get then in lots of varieties – cheap and cheerful £20 ish from Tesco, more classy from caravan shops at around £50, different colours and styles. Job done.

avdave2 eeeeeuuuuuwwww

really? that’s gross

Yes really, he’s had a little visit from the police so hopefully won’t be doing it again. The guy clearly has problems and he did at least wait until it was dark – I don’t think he actually wanted to be seen.

We’ve got a massive beech hedge on the front too, that the last owener(s) let get out of hand.

PeterPoddy C_G is right, there aren’t enough hedges in the U.K.
They hold wildlife, birds, insects, alsorts of creatures and give back fresh air in return.
Yes it’s a pain looking after a beech hedge (ours is 2 metres high), however it makes me smile.

Think of the baby robin 🙂

Our neighbour has a windbreak thingumy, and when she sunbathes, she juts pops this up round her on our side, as there is only a 50cm high picket fence. It is nice having open gardens to each other, and she is open in saying if the windbreak is up, don’t disturb / barge round for a chat…