I will admit that my marriage has been strained this January by my wife eating my chocolate father Christmas the mother in law posted from a shop in California, all our after eights, allthe lindt bear tree decorations and half of my enormous tin of shortbread my mum gave me. She didn’t even wait for me to open the shortbread first! I thought the number one rule of stealing food is it’s ok if the packet is already open.

Oh, and obviously, my wife and I bloomin love refined sugar because its tasty as chuff. I ride my bike hard, I will eat it if I want. Yay, chocolate and biscuits!

I like chocolate! I’m a bit fat! And I don’t give a shit! 😀

American chocolate?

Aye, part of me thinks i dodged a bullet there. Fortunately she also ate all the Hershey kisses before i was aware the bag was even open. She did, however, eat three quarters of the tin of roses and only left the revolting new coffee ones.

I suggested we go on a diet together and she almost smacked me. At what percentage weight gain is it ok to get a divorce?

and I am apparently a couple of weeks too late if I want to eat my – MY – bar of chocolate

If you’ve had a bar of chocolate in the house for more than a couple of weeks (in fact more than a couple of days) then you deserve to have it eaten by someone else. Sorry, no sympathy!

🙄

Original thread title here but… No buts

What kenny said. Use it or lose it.

she also ate all the Hershey kisses

This is it’s own punishment in itself. They taste like a mixture of vomit and earth. The only chocolates not to get touched when somebody buys them for the office.

I’ve developed a taste for uber dark bitter chocolate, nobody else likes it. 🙂

Anyway, my n+1 referred to N= the number of wives/girlfriends +1 = fulfillment.

Bitching aside, actually I couldn’t give a crap… 🙂

but… she has a mother-in-law … Grrrr

Actually just this very morn the wife has come around to my way of thinking and realises that her mum is a piece of work…. after the MiL through a bomb into the wife’s 40th Bday plans.

It’s sad really, I feel sorry for the wife… better love her lots tonight…. ( no you can’t have pictures 😀 )

Maybe change your forum name to morecashthanpudding?

just a suggestion…

1. place chocolate on extremely high shelf
2. enjoy at whatever date you feel like

Keep chocolate in bike cave.

Handcuffs. Paddle.

I think its probably best you didn’t have any more pudding Cash – that lycra is prob a bit strained after Xmas ?

mrmonkfinger – she is only 4’10”, but has a tall step stool

duckman – 😀

andyfla – piss off and do some training for the Fred Whitton!

woppit – have we met on another forum?

Since I got home tonight:

The tumble drying I had to fetch from the garage in the rain was still wet as she’d forgotten to use the “On” button 🙄

When she opened the blinds at the patio window this morning she managed to get the cords actually knotted together. And quite tightly at that! 😮

She’d used the laptop but not bothered putting it on charge when she’d finished 👿

And if you only had the use of one hand and wanted to open a big bag of peanuts would you a) use your teeth, tear the bag in half and put it back in the cupboard in that state or b) take a second to get a pair of scissors out the drawer and snip the top of the bag neatly? 😥

Meeting a mate in the pub at the Punchbowl at 8.30 – Dry January is looking as though it may not end well…..

It was definitely a (refined sugar) custard only moment there with the crumpled crumble. I agree, you had a lucky escape there.

Let me guess, you don’t own a TV either, and enjoy telling people about that fact.

Oooh! That’s me!

Perfect excuse to blow a good old wadge on a bike in that case…

a good old blow…..Perfect excuse

Just a subtle rearrangement of words

Why do you need to eat refined sugar? Sorry, but it’s a complete mystery to me!

Let’s see you chew on a chunk of sugarcane with those false teeth!