I have had the fire place in my (newish) place swept, bought some wood and some kinderling…. now what? How do I get a fire going?

Is it just whack some newspaper down, stick some wood on paper, light and off it goes? What does ‘draw’ mean? What are the collection of iron pokey things for?

I know I could google it, but I suspect the advice i’ll get on here is much better!

A gallon of 4 star will do the trick,
Unleaded at a push.

Nah… small deodorant aerosol can right in the middle – the suspense will kill you! 😉

Don’t bother with a fire guard if you are truly adventures and get a shag pile rug.
Nothing like hot embers burning your arse when in the throws of passion.

Crumple 5-6 balls of newspaper, not tightly, then build a jenga style of kindling on top, leaving loads of air gaps say four rounds high, light newspaper and stand back 😉

As last post, but firefighters instead of newspaper will make life for a beginner a lot easier. Bit of coal on top of the jenga will give you a bed of hot ash to get logs going.

Kinderling ? setting fire to German children?

….but firefighters instead of newspaper…….

Freudian slip?

Cheers guys, firefighters and four star at the ready.

Funnily enough, the shitier the newspaper, the better it burns. The sun is great for starting a fire, the broadsheets not so good.

If the flue is too wide it won’t draw very well, especially when it’s cold. You might need to get a liner fitted. You need to achieve a smooth narrow column of rising hot gases.

If your open fire is sluggish and difficult to light, get a piece of plywood or thin metal and hold it across the fireplace to prevent air from entering except at the bottom and thence up through the grate. Within a few seconds it will be roaring and warming up that flue.

I have observed that squirting lighter fluid straight out of the can onto a failing fire revives it admirably.

For best results pre soak your newspapers in Rock n’ Roll Extreme lube.

Nothing gets a fire going as well as a pile of freshly killed kittens. Four or Five should do it. It burns better if children are watching, FACT!