Viewing 40 posts - 81 through 120 (of 129 total)
  • I forgot how angry I can be…..sacking the Sertraline.
  • Premier Icon neilnevill
    Free Member

    Stick at it and talk to the GP. Best of luck!

    Jeez I’m lucky, starting fluoxitene and years later starting sertraline were a breeze for me, no worse and ferment much better in a week.

    I’m settled on 50mg of sertraline right now and if it were spring time I’d probably try coming off. As it’s autumn I’ll probably stick with it through the winter. Why not? No real side effects.

    Premier Icon P-Jay
    Free Member

    Thanks all, back in work today. Didn’t worry too much coming in, didn’t shout when I got caught in the worst traffic, didn’t go mad when I was told 30 seconds in the door there’s a photographer coming this afternoon to take headshots of me (I detests having my picture taken). Although if they try to force me to smile I’ll probably tell them to erm… jog on.

    The sweating it mostly stopped, my Anxiety is pre-pills level, sadly ‘mini me’ doesn’t appear to have gotten over the shock of it all yet.

    Premier Icon P-Jay
    Free Member

    Also, I’ve developed a taste for ELO, is that a normal side-effect?

    Premier Icon jugheaddave
    Free Member

    @P-Jay, how are you feeling today mate?

    Premier Icon grum
    Full Member

    Also, I’ve developed a taste for ELO, is that a normal side-effect?

    Go straight to A+E

    Premier Icon P-Jay
    Free Member

    how are you feeling today mate?

    Thanks for asking.

    A lot better thanks, pretty much ‘normal’ I guess. I’m getting a sense the pills are doing something now, my usual ‘everyday’ triggers like bad traffic, coupled with a deadline don’t bother me and I’m fairly chilled out and I might even describe myself as ‘chatty’ so far in work.

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Also, I’ve developed a taste for ELO, is that a normal side-effect?

    Sounds Out of the Blue to me…

    Premier Icon fossy
    Full Member

    You’ve got to stick with them, couple of months or more. I’m on a different SSRI but started on a low dose, 10mg, but the side effects hammered me – getting up in the morning was like being run over by a bus, so I am on the minimum of 5mg. I’m tolerating this better.

    Premier Icon darthpunk
    Free Member

    About two weeks ago I started the switch over from Citalopram (taken in the morning) to Mirtazapine (taken before bed) and oh sweet lord am I angry all the time!!!! Although nobody can make up their mind what’s wrong with me, it seems to be depression and high functioning Autism.

    I can’t put my finger on it really, anger isn’t quite right, well, narky and no patience whatsoever, and having a 7 year old who wants to negotiate everything at the moment, this makes for quite a volatile situation my poor wife has to put up with.

    Trying to exercise daily, have no real problems making decisions, thinking is a little fuzzy (but I work in IT so I can blame mistakes on other people I’ve never met or may be made up)

    Downsides seem to be getting angry at everyone and the no patience thing, also I won’t shut up and stories seem to go on forever especially when they’re of zero interest to anyone else.

    Got a follow up with the doc next week but I think i’ll be asking if we can try the other tablet she suggested

    Premier Icon dannybgoode
    Full Member

    Not sertraline however having been on fluoxetine and then mirtazipine for a few years now I’m just starting to come off it. No idea how it’ll go but just recently I have started to feel more ‘normal’ than I have since I can remember so going to at least give it a go.

    Got a few hobbies lined up, am trying to get the exercise in and otherwise look after myself so with a bit of luck I hope I can crack it

    Premier Icon RustySpanner
    Full Member

    You can do it.

    If I can, anyone can.

    It’s been a bit of a roller coaster tbh, but I’m slowly getting used to myself again.

    Worth it for the good times though.

    Everytime I have a wobble I read the latest contributions on here and realise that none of us is ever really alone in this.
    We are all in it together and that gives me hope.

    Love to all,
    Pete.

    Premier Icon gaidong
    Free Member

    I don’t know how I missed this thread. Thank you to the OP and contributors. It is timely as I just got medically repatriated from a work trip today. This is the second time in 2.5 years, and there will be consequences (summoned to work doc etc). I’m very tired right now and couldn’t remember all the details but I’ll try to summarise.

    – I’m problematic, since childhood. Family therapy from age 7. Sertraline (labelled Lustral!) during my parent’s divorce aged 15/16. Called a helpline in my early 20s, and ended up with the counsellor in tears as I described my planned dispatching method (not just to go but to go in terror and agony). At school I had also worked out a rig to secure one of our CCF L86A1s, so I could drop a weight and take a full mag, plus one in the chamber. Back to mid20s, got put on something, I forget what, and ended up getting blue-lighted the next day. I was eventually given a very large and moreish pill, discharged myself and took a flight to HGK…

    – More recently, I was properly not managing at work, juggling multiple projects. Intense insomnia ensued come early 2019, 1-2 hours sleep per night for 5-6 weeks, learnt many stars under beautiful clear skies. A crescendo was reached, upset team members and attempted death by motorbike. This lead to medevac #1. I convinced the work doc I was ok and I was back on a plane within 10 days, for a conference in Tokyo and back to SEA. I rattled on through the summer, with a séries of improbable injuries (cat attacks, sectioning my finger with an axe) and I stopped booze. Another work-provoked crisis began in September 2019 and I was put on Sertraline 50s. The dam gates had already burst though and by early October I was found by my wife on the floor and got carted off in the special ambulance. 72 hours of suicide watch and observation. The first night it took three massive doses of sleeping pills (was liquid) to knock me out. Then I was admitted to psychiatric hospital for a month, the first two weeks on some sort of special ward. I was put on Sertraline 200s, plus Prazepam and a sleeping pill I don’t remember. This was a very odd time and I don’t remember very much, except the realisation that others have it way worse than you (an attempted rape victim was in the next room but with the heavy sound insulation I didn’t even hear her slitting her wrists and the ensuing intervention. She just turned up again a couple of weeks later). It was in this place I started running again (barefoot as I had no shoes) and caning the rowing machine in the gym. I got let out of there, flew back to run an overseas project and, most laughably, to collect a prize (I was just looking at the audience thinking, “I bet you can’t guess where I was two weeks ago…”). I was hunting down à particular drug in one country, for which I had a prescription, but they just didn’t have any. I walked in sandals until my feet were bleeding stumps. I got the drug in the next country but only after the grand entertainment of consulting à local doctor, with the translation done by à student, hurrah!

    – Early 2020, psychiatrist told me I was “bizarre” and he put me on anti-psychotics, just the thought of which had me in tears. I can’t remember what they were but they knocked me out cold. Change psychiatrist and new one says, “no no no” and I get put on bipolar treatment. I should ask for my records as I cannot remember the names, but these drugs had me absolutely wired, couldn’t sleep etc. I was only on them à short time when I went cold turkey (not everything else) and it was pretty brutal. I was with my brother and he was looking at me curled up in the footwell of his van, sweating and heaving. Good times.

    – Went back to Asia for fieldwork in March. I was fit as a fiddle having gone from 87 to 78 kg (I’m 188 cm tall). I looked like when I was 17 or 18 but with àn old ugly head. Then Covid happened and, as per many others, my work took à séries of huge hits.

    – Forget when but I finally came off Prazepam. Painful.

    Last month psychiatrist was seeing insufficient improvement with Sertraline, so began tailing that down from 100mg, to be replaced with Clomipromine. More good times were not had – collapsing on my office floor, or being found with my face smeared across my desk. There was a brief trial of Ritalin too, which also did no good.

    Having taken all this sh1t I looked at the withdrawal characteristics of clomipromine, which I discover are ‘severe’. So I told my psychologist I needed to find out what I’m really like now, and went cold turkey again…

    – The last 2-3 weeks have been a total rollercoaster as I am at the mercy of serotonin levels. I could be having a fantastic time doing what I love one minute, to closely contemplating cliffs and the best mass and pointiness of rock for auto-lapidation the next. Crunch point came yesterday when I saw a puppy run over and I simply could not stop crying. Pulled the éjection handle, work pulled me out, and here I am.

    Premier Icon jugheaddave
    Free Member

    @gaidong that’s heavy stuff, thanks for sharing.
    I hope you figure it all out soon…

    Premier Icon stanley
    Full Member

    @gaidong, That’s really hard to read let alone live through. I really hope that you can hang on in there and make the changes (meds, support, whatever) that will give you the balance that you need.

    I’ve been struggling recently; people sharing on here has helped me feel that we are not alone, and has helped me keep my struggles in perspective.

    Me? Major breakdown about 13 years ago. On and off the anti-depressants since then. Currently off them for the last 4 months (following an eight month taper) but on a bit of a rollercoaster right now: feel ok for a couple of days, then spend the next few days feeling sad, angry, emotionless or completely detached and ready to give up.

    I work in mental health (Forensic psyc. unit)… not sure if that helps or makes things worse!

    Best wishes to all here.

    Premier Icon neilnevill
    Free Member

    Goodness me!

    Premier Icon gaidong
    Free Member

    Thanks, still holding on here. I have GP appt Monday, psychologist Wednesday morning and psychiatrist in the afternoon. I picked up a list of the medicines I’ve taken, but only for 2021… I decided to stop driving after I collected the past prescriptions, it was only a couple of kilometres but I can’t concentrate for more than a few seconds, so a menace to all.
    I stayed at home the last two days but tried to work today. I messed up the dates between a car rental for my wife and a flight for a colleague – loss of €930… I did just manage to place an order for some bike parts (a front brake, bottles and cages, and some pads), so let’s see what actually turns up next week!

    Premier Icon RustySpanner
    Full Member

    You are not alone.
    Keep posting.

    …but on a bit of a rollercoaster right now: feel ok for a couple of days, then spend the next few days feeling sad, angry, emotionless or completely detached and ready to give up.

    I work in mental health (Forensic psyc. unit)… not sure if that helps or makes things worse!

    Best wishes to all here.

    Me too 🙂

    And I’ve just started another degree course!
    What was I thinking?

    FWIW, and I think we’ve mentioned this, I think it helps, massively.
    Being around people with infinitely worse problems than me helps puts things into perspective.

    Premier Icon dannybgoode
    Full Member

    I am about 2 weeks in now to sacking the mirtazapine and so far I feel surprisingly good. The actually giving up was quite accidental and i know you should not just go cold turkey however due to just me being clumsy I forgot to order a repeat prx and by the time I had got round to it, it had been a week or so with no ill effects so I decided just to keep going.

    I have a pack in stock if I do start feeling it however I have been sleeping really well and my mood is good and usually if I missed 3 or 4 days I started suffering from insomnia and anxiety.
    Note I am not for one minute advocating going cold turkey in general, really you should taper but it is working for me.

    One thing I had started taking, coincidentally by the way and not in readiness for coming off the mirtazapine, is cod liver oil. I don’t know if that has helped a bit – there is certainly anicdotal evidence it can help.

    Good luck to everyone who is going through depression whatever stage you’re at and let’s keep talking about it and supporting each other best we can 🙂

    Premier Icon gaidong
    Free Member

    Saw my GP yesterday. She wrote a reference letter for a colleague in code. I got “+++”. I don’t know how many “+” there are on the scale. She reminded of the ’72 hour’ ward, which I really hadn’t forgotten. Psychologist tomorrow morning, psychiatrist in the afternoon. Maybe a spot of work in between.

    Premier Icon dirtyrider
    Free Member

    I work in mental health (Forensic psyc. unit)… not sure if that helps or makes things worse!

    ohhhh ill go here,

    often spends the days looking around and thinking that your own mental health issues are worse that those you look after?

    Being around people with infinitely worse problems than me helps puts things into perspective.

    problem with in-patient mental health is the bed blockers, those there with NFA, the Ho sections, everything takes so long to get someone discharged, you end up with them relapsing before you even get them out, and its such a vicious circle

    I am about 2 weeks in now to sacking the mirtazapine and so far I feel surprisingly good. The actually giving up was quite accidental and i know you should not just go cold turkey however due to just me being clumsy I forgot to order a repeat prx and by the time I had got round to it, it had been a week or so with no ill effects so I decided just to keep going.

    are you me?

    been through Fluoxetine/Citalopram/Mirtazapine in the last 10 months, miss the pharmacy closing and then a bank holiday meant I was 5/6 days without, I felt no different, picked up the prescription, took it for a couple of days and wondered what I was doing, so decided to bin it off, had a really bad couple of days a week ago where suicical thoughts were creeping in, but having been through the wringer with side effects with the rest, I knew it was just that and would pass

    And I’ve just started another degree course!

    just starting the 3rd year at 40, we have this!

    Premier Icon jugheaddave
    Free Member

    Stay strong friends, and thanks again for sharing.

    This thread has helped a lot of people!!!

    Premier Icon mrchrispy
    Full Member

    a little late to the party but cracking thread gents, I doff my cap in all of your general directions.

    Premier Icon davros
    Full Member

    After two years on 50mgs, my gp upped me to 100mg, as she thought my ongoing fatigue was stress related. Seven weeks in, I’m not sure it’s made much difference, maybe slightly improved, but the side effects are worse. Teeth grinding in my sleep and the most vivid dreams every night. I’d like to drop back down to 50mg but I’m starting a new job in two weeks and don’t want to risk withdrawal symptoms while I’m trying to settle in.

    Has anyone tapered from this dose with minimal side effects? Obviously I’m going to speak to the gp before I decide if/when to taper.

    Premier Icon grum
    Full Member

    I’m really struggling right now. I’m on 200mg daily and I still have the biggest mood swings and really bad down periods. Been finding it hard to get over COVID then the other nasty virus, kids have been off sick too including my profoundly autistic 9 year old step daughter who also hates being stuck inside.

    Heading into winter and I’m already exhausted and massively unfit. Had massive rows with my partner, felt suicidal at times. Looks like we are heading towards more COVID problems with school closures or lockdown potentially. Currently sat in a carpark in the woods because I can’t be at home without fighting again. Really not sure I can make it through another winter of all this.

    Still waiting to see someone re potential ADD diagnosis which I think is the cause of a lot of my issues, but I’m totally convinced I have it and my doctor agrees

    Urgh

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Full Member

    Is there any way you can figure out how not to fight? I mean, when my wife rips my head off I just don’t say anything. It does hurt like hell especially when I know I’m right, but I just need to avoid a fight.

    Premier Icon dannybgoode
    Full Member

    Battling on here. Well over a month with the mirtazapine and it’s been err… interesting. Good days, bad days, a nagging pressure in my head that builds for a while then goes. But, I am just trying to do something every day, even if it is just something small.

    Walk the dogs, cut that bush down in the garden I’ve been meaning to tackle for ages, go flying. Whatever, just something so I do not regress into the pit of darkness and despair and end up not doing anything for days on end.

    I am lucky that my job is essentially stress free and I enjoy it. That helps enormously as it is one less thing to have to fight. I’ve gone through this stage when I was in a job I didn’t enjoy and it proved impossible.

    I’m on 200mg daily and I still have the biggest mood swings and really bad down periods

    One of the things I have found interesting is that, outwardly at least, I am calmer and can modulate my temper better without the ADs. With the mirtazapine it was all or nothing. I was either calm and ‘happy’ or then I lost it completely with very little middle ground. Internal mental battles aside when dealing with challenging situations I have a wider range of emotion so to speak it seems. It is one of the reasons I am really trying staying off it.

    Also if whichever anti-depressant isn’t doing it for you instead of going on increasingly higher doses ask to try something else. Fluoxetine and sertraline didn’t work for me and it wasn’t until I hit the mirtazapine that I felt the benefits.

    Premier Icon neilnevill
    Free Member

    Davros, I alternated 100/50/100/50 for about 3 weeks. I was a bit angry in that period. If doing it again I’d snap pills and do 100/75/50

    Oh heck, that’s awful Grum! Feel for you! Maybe speak to the doc before it gets any harder?

    Premier Icon davros
    Full Member

    Thanks Neil, I’m going to see stick with it for a few more weeks then decide whether it’s a good idea. Maybe the side effects will have settled down by then 🤞

    Premier Icon RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Ah bollocks, looks like I’ve had a tiny bit of a breakdown. 😐

    Doctor phoning me this afternoon.
    It’s not good.

    I’ve pretty much had enough, can’t cope with this anxiety any more.
    Looks like I’ll be back on the Sertraline for a while.

    Premier Icon duncancallum
    Full Member

    @rustyspanner

    Dude! Hang in. I find this time of year hard

    Premier Icon RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Thank you.

    Premier Icon P-Jay
    Free Member

    Ah bollocks, looks like I’ve had a tiny bit of a breakdown. 😐

    Doctor phoning me this afternoon.
    It’s not good.

    I’ve pretty much had enough, can’t cope with this anxiety any more.
    Looks like I’ll be back on the Sertraline for a while.

    Sorry to hear that. Like Duncan said, hang on in there. I know when I’m bad it can seem never-ending, but it always does.

    Premier Icon P-Jay
    Free Member

    As for me, I’m 7 weeks into Citalopram now, thankfully the side-effects have passed, I won’t look forward to doing that again.

    At about the 4 to 5 week point I thought “I’ve got this cracked, I’m sorted here” and got cocky with it, major relapse and intense paranoia / anxiety, then it was good again for a bit.

    Today was supposed to be a good day, I had my first counselling session booked for midday. But there was a bit of confusion about times and I’d had to rebook for Thursday, and I have the usual mixed feelings of disappointment to not have gotten started, relief I can continue to bottle stuff up for a bit, and anxiety that I’ve still got to do it on Thursday.

    For anyone who’s feeling “it” at the moment, even if you’ve never had any problems with mental health before, or even like me a few years ago didn’t know what Anxiety or depression felt like and you assumed everyone felt like this. There’s possibly a good reason.

    I was chatting with whoever answered the phone at Mind UK who’ll be helping me. it seems they’re flat out at the moment. As above, this time of year is hard for a lot of us. Today will be the first day a lot of us will commute home in the dark for the first time, but more than that, Covid ending has caused a huge spike in mental health issues for people. Those of us who carry a lot of Anxiety, despite moaning about the lack of freedom / fearing what would happen to others, and ourselves and all the other usual feelings about a deadly pandemic, actually found some peace in Covid, I know a lot of people with Social Anxiety have been quite vocal about it, but that’s not the only kind. A lot of our usual problems with Anxiety became a lot simpler, we had something practical to focus our fears at and we were forced to think far shorter term than we usually do.

    I’d avoid, like the **** plague, most online ‘advise’ around mental health, lest you find yourself on the likes of Buzzfeed telling yourself your Bi-Polar because you like blue food colouring or other such nonsense, but if you’re that one person who thinks they may be suffering, but like me can’t really describe who depression or anxiety feels, because it feels normal so you’re here to read what nutter like me are saying. Try this

    https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/depression-anxiety-self-assessment-quiz/

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Full Member

    Yeah, also worth bearing in mind that you might not realise it til later – and also these things manifest differently in different people.

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Best of luck to all who are suffering. It will pass, hang on in there and give the meds or therapies a chance. As others havevsaid, the clocks changing and loss of daylight hours doesn’t help.

    (Says the guy who has been awake since 4am dreading going back to work after a week off, and wondering if a little Citalopram to take the edge off again would be a good idea)

    Premier Icon davros
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    Good luck rustyspanner🤞

    Premier Icon spawnofyorkshire
    Full Member

    So I’m just over a week into withdrawal of sertraline. I’m transitioning over onto Mirtazapine due to side effects with the sertraline, and I’m in the crap middle ground where the new one is only low dose.
    Have had vertigo for a week with the withdrawal, but that’s now going.
    My anxiety isn’t here and I’m sleeping well, so the new stuff is doing something right.

    What’s come back is the anger. I’m just so pissed off
    I’d forgotten what this was like and I don’t miss it at all

    Premier Icon Hohum
    Free Member

    I have been on Sertraline for 5 and a half years now.

    Various doses from 150mg at first, down to 25mg before the start of the pandemic (I was even considering trying to come off them in summer 2020) and now I am on 50mg daily.

    My worse “withdrawal” symptoms I had was going from 100mg to 50mg. It made me feel quite ill.

    I have found that it is a very effective medicine for me. It keeps me on the straight and narrow. At times I almost feel like I am not taking anything. Prior to Sertraline I took Prozac and that made me feel like a robot. It stopped the lows, but also stopped the highs.

    The main “side effect” I have noticed with it is that I now struggle to read books or newspapers. I just skim read things. I was not a big reader before, so it is a price worth paying for the good side of the drug.

    Good luck to all of you struggling with your mental health problems and those of you who are trying to come off any ADs.

    Premier Icon mrchrispy
    Full Member

    I’m dont think I’m liking the sound of this stuff.
    got a prescription sitting around waiting for me to pull the trigger, might sit on it a while longer and see how I get on.

    Premier Icon davros
    Full Member

    It’s a tough decision Mrchrispy, I was very apprehensive, initially refused medication but months later decided to try it. Then bottled it after a few days as I was anxious about side effects etc. But things got worse and I tried again. Ultimately for me, it has had the desired effect but not without downsides. I considered it a last resort and it sounds like you are too. Only you can decide whether it’s worth the potential benefits. Good luck whatever you decide.

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