Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 163 total)
  • I forgot how angry I can be…..sacking the Sertraline.
  • RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Odd one.

    Been on Sertraline for about 4 years, jacked it in about a month ago.

    Lots of benefits, appreciation of art and music is back, I read everything, backs of cereal packets, everything.
    Much more appetite for cycling, lost nearly a stone already.
    The world is definitely sweeter.

    But my word, I’m an angry little bastard.
    I’ve put up with an appalling boss for a year or so now, low level, confidence shredding behaviour, general nastiness and a good line in rampant narcissism.

    So yesterday I finally let her have it. Both barrels. I believe the word ‘vile’ and the phrase ‘contemptible excuse for a human being’ were used.
    Not proud and I felt awful last night, but today her behaviour has been better.
    And I’m conflicted.

    On one hand, I’m happy that I finally stood up for myself. The air is clearer and it looks like it may have had a positive result.
    On the other, I feel like a bit of a ****.
    Sertraline me would have put up with it and life would have continued, I’d have been annoyed by her behaviour and put up with it, eventually leaving a post I love just for some peace.

    I feel a bit shocked at my own behaviour.
    More worrying, I genuinely can’t remember if this is how I used to be.
    My wife is delighted. She reckons this is the old me, but without the issues that lead me to take Sertraline in the first place.
    The quack says it’s normal.

    I’m having doubts as to whether I preferred the compressed, slightly numbed version of me that has coped quite well over the last few years or the new/old, slightly erratic person I’ve become.
    My driving has gone to shit and my golf game is all over the place as well. 🙂

    Thoughts anyone?

    grum
    Free Member

    Interesting!

    I’ve been on a high dose of Sertraline for a while now and generally doing ok but still prone to crazy mood swings/anger/upset over relatively trivial stuff.

    I’ve been referred to someone to see if it’s related to adult ADD as I fulfil all the criteria in spades. Long ish wait though so feeling a bit in limbo currently.

    It may be that many of the elements of depression are brought about by ADD and I’d be better being medicated for that instead, but who knows right now.

    It is fascinating to hear about your experience. It did occur to me that your anger stuff might come from somewhere similar to mine but obviously IANAP or whatever.

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Thank you for your response Grum.

    I was on 100mg for the first 2 years, 50 (minimum) for the last two, it’s worked a treat.
    Virtually eliminated my anxiety issues and basically got me through a degree course and settled into my dream job (somewhat ironically, in mental health).

    Guess who’s just been accepted on another degree course?

    I should know how to deal with this, but just a bit conflicted atm. 🙂

    Once again, thanks and I hope you get sorted as soon as possible.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    You maybe need to bounce? Like, snap back before settling on a middle ground?

    Are you free tomorrow afternoon? I have a cancelled meeting so have a hole in my diary and coffee if you want a change of four walls.

    grum
    Free Member

    Thanks pal. I’m currently on 200mg! As I say doing fine in general interspersed with some fairly crazy episodes.

    I would have thought coming off 50mg wouldn’t be too bad but again not an expert by any means.

    Its really interesting what you say about reading and art and whatnot. I would never have made that connection but I can see it now you mention it.

    Thoughts anyone?

    Do you think there is an element of anxiety about coming off Sertraline and not being able to cope etc?

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Thank you Cougar, that would be delightful.
    Much appreciated.

    I love my four walls btw, come round and listen to some speaker cable if you’re up for it?

    Just let me know which is best for you.

    tjagain
    Full Member

    Did you taper down? You might be getting some reaction from not doing ( withdrawal) but I am not at all sure or as cougar says

    My wife is delighted. She reckons this is the old me,

    Talk to her but to me this is a big positive and shows you are not being too angry

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Tapering was odd Teej.

    Basically, 50mg is the minimum dose.
    It takes a long time to titrate but leaves the body very quickly.
    Skipping a dose wasn’t getting me anywhere.

    I went camping with family and friends a few weeks ago and decided, after consulting with my GP, that it would be the perfect time to try and come off them.
    So I did.

    Do you think there is an element of anxiety about coming off Sertraline and not being able to cope etc?

    Yes.
    A month ago I had no idea that I would have the opportunity of embarking on another degree course.
    I only found out about it a fortnight ago, went for the interview and was immediately accepted.
    I worry that I might not be able to cope.

    Basically, Sertraline made me a nicer, if much duller individual.
    I think I’m just going to have to accept that non Sertraline me can be a bit of an arse.
    And that might not be a bad thing.

    Thanks folks.

    neilnevill
    Free Member

    I’m very glad I have bugger all side effects and it stops my anxiety, which was becoming crippling, in an instant. Or at least 100mg does. Used first 18-19 months ago, 50 didn’t do squat, soon up to 100, and things were good. Life generally got good too, baby boy arrived, summer and so on so I tapered myself off. Then winter, lockdown, home schooling, WFh in a new job and not making a good impression i started to feel the anxiety spiralling and back in January did the 50 then rapidly to 100mg again. I’m currently tapering back to 50 as overall been feeling great for, oooh, a good 3 months. I’m trying to decide if I want to try and get off it again by autumn, or whether to stick to 50 through to spring. I reckon winter can be a tough time in normal circumstances but with young kids stuck inside and c-19 worries and possible lockdown 4 and … Well…I know the signs and would start again if needed but, hmmm.

    Anyway, I’m clearly lucky I’ve no negatives they I, or the family, have noticed. Best of luck rusty, and Grum.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    come round and listen to some speaker cable

    I’ve changed my mind. Shithead.

    Do we have some form of more immediate communication? Are you on Twitbook or Arseache or gods forbid, do I have your phone number? Ping me a DM mate.

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Thank you, that’s really interesting.

    I think I’m very lucky.
    The reasons I needed to take Sertraline in the first place just aren’t an issue anymore.
    I was caring for a family member suffering from depression. They became able to manage that situation, but it took it’s toll on me.

    I noticed the side effects of the medication as soon as I’d stabilised. I’d seen them in other people and was expecting them – a reduction in drive, mostly.
    It’s raining? Don’t get the bike out.
    Guitars? Why bother learning new stuff, just stick with the same old chords.
    Weight creeping up? Balls to it, buy new clothes.

    Sounds like you didn’t have the opportunity for that, hearty congrats on the new addition and the new job!

    Once I’d addressed the causes of the anxiety (Counselling. Three lots! Keep going, once you’ve found the one that works, it can be life changing) I was determined to see how I could cope without the medication.

    This thread is the result!

    Love to all.

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Alan, I’ll message you in the morning.

    Thanks everyone.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    👍 Two thumbs fresh. 👍

    kayak23
    Full Member

    Do you think there is an element of anxiety about coming off Sertraline and not being able to cope etc?

    Definitely. I’ve lost count of the number of years I’ve been taking it now, but it’s got to be over ten I think.

    Initially 150mg but self-tapered to 100mg.

    I’ve tried going to 50 but could feel myself getting very on the edge of control(or at least that was my perception)

    I really, really struggle with motivation sometimes and feel pretty joyless most of the time which is horrible. Been known to just sit down in the woods on what should be an amazing bike ride and well up for seemingly no reason. I hate it.

    To be honest I haven’t got a clue what normal feels like for me.
    This is it I think.

    Good on you op though. Well done 👍

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    Interestingly I have been on 50 for 2 months now.

    My appreciation of music and reading has improved.

    Dissapointingly the sideffects of spectacular diareoah and sudden increase in muscle tone didn’t occur and I have had to park my modelling ambitions.

    K
    Full Member

    Give up golf, nothing good comes from it.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Not Sertraline but I was on a low dose of Citalopram for a few years and tapered off it when I had had enough of everything feeling slightly numb and muffled.

    There were a few extremes as I adjusted to having full sensation again, I can see how having someone winding you up might get both barrels if they could you at the wrong oart of the mood cycle.

    I’m now meds free, and have learnt to take a step back before reacting when I feel big emotional waves coming.

    martin_t
    Free Member

    So yesterday I finally let her have it. Both barrels. I believe the word ‘vile’ and the phrase ‘contemptible excuse for a human being’ were used.
    Not proud and I felt awful last night, but today her behaviour has been better.
    And I’m conflicted.

    That sounds pretty harsh language. You might feel better after apologizing.
    (P.S. sorry for a being a sanctimonious dick)

    tpbiker
    Free Member

    I’m intrigued how you still have a job after that confrontation!?

    Sui
    Free Member

    martin_t
    Free Member
    So yesterday I finally let her have it. Both barrels. I believe the word ‘vile’ and the phrase ‘contemptible excuse for a human being’ were used.
    Not proud and I felt awful last night, but today her behaviour has been better.
    And I’m conflicted.

    That sounds pretty harsh language. You might feel better after apologizing.
    (P.S. sorry for a being a sanctimonious dick)

    Doesn’t seem that bad, quite clearly it was deserved – why feel bad, i bet you wouldn’t i it was a male boss, she was still a boss treating you like dirt.

    tpbiker
    Free Member
    I’m intrigued how you still have a job after that confrontation!?

    if he does, its probably because the boss knew he was right and deserved the shotgun.

    *****i do however have zero expertise in these things..

    Sui
    Free Member

    Just having a ponder about it. while an outburst is not always the mose professional thing, often the points raised are valid – if anything apologise for the outburst, but make it clear in a calm manner that you still object to the behaviour.

    **

    molgrips
    Free Member

    No experience or comment re the drugs but generally some stuff is worth getting angry about, and you need to tell the people who need to know.

    martin_t
    Free Member

    Doesn’t seem that bad, quite clearly it was deserved – why feel bad, i bet you wouldn’t i it was a male boss, she was still a boss treating you like dirt.

    For me at least, gender doesn’t com in to to it. A couple of weeks ago, I totally lost my rag with a (male) builder – proper EastEnders style on the street. He was blatantly try to rip me off for a shoddy job. I immediately apologized for my language and for losing my temper.

    It worked, he came back with a team of men the following day and re-did the job properly.
    … but it was my failing that I could not communicate with him civilly.

    PJM1974
    Free Member

    Long time Sertraline user here – I switched to Citalopram in the past and noticed exactly the same thing, that I was quite angry and it didn’t take much to get me riled. I have periodically dropped to a maintenance dose of 50mg and have noticed the same sort of thing – i.e. everything is great for a while and then I “crash” for want of a better word.

    I am really appreciative of this thread and the responses – thanks all, I feel like less of a freak today.

    dannyh
    Free Member

    Well, time to out myself.

    I’ve been on 50mg sertraline since January. I was also on Citalopram for 18 months about 5-6 years ago.

    My observations are that Sertraline is more peaky-troughy. This is obvious if you look at the half life of the two. The advantage of it being quicker in-out is that it gets you up to a level quicker when you most need it. I.e. at the start. Because, let’s face it, most of us let things go on too long, have a ‘moment’ then need something sorting as quickly as possible.

    So, the ‘wanting to die, curling up into a ball, blaming yourself for every ill in the world’ stage is shorter with Sertraline. But even once up to a level, it is much more important not to miss doses. And even when up to a level I can discern daily swings that didn’t happen with Citalopram. This volatility is going to make the coming off part more tricky to manage. Citalopram was fairly easy – just started skipping every other dose to gently(ish) halve the level. Then packed it in altogether. Sertraline is going to need more careful management, I think.

    I am planning to come off of it in the next few months because (exactly the same as last time) a change of job has addressed most of the issue.

    One other thing to note is that in my two episodes I made an active decision to go for as low a dose as I could. I wanted to just take the edge off of the spiralling anxiety, so I wouldn’t enter the spiral. I still wanted to maintain some of my own resilience. Many people don’t want to do this and that is entirely their choice – the only reason I mention it is that the OP seems to be on a much higher dose.

    As an aside – why the **** shouldn’t you eat grapefruit if on sertraline? One of the weirder ‘avoid certain foodstuffs’ warnings I’ve seen!

    Good luck OP. There are more of us out here than you think. 👍

    HoratioHufnagel
    Free Member

    I’ve been on 50mg for years. Tried to taper and come off, but I noticed the same as the OP, especially getting angry driving! I went back on, and decided I was more chilled and happier. Pretty sure I have adult ADD too, something that got noticed during CBD.

    davros
    Full Member

    I totally understand the anger thing. I’ve been on 50mg for two years. Previously I used to rage at inanimate objects and cry over spilt milk like a giant toddler. But that is mostly no longer an issue. I’d like to come off it, if only to escape the intense vivid dreams, but I suspect that I’d just be back to square one. Plus I’d be quite scared about the tapering.

    Good to hear others’ experiences, so thanks all.

    MrOvershoot
    Full Member

    How strange, I have just been checking through my Father in laws medication as he said there was one tablet his doctor said he could stop and Sertraline was the one!

    He was only on a 50mg dose, he started it just after Carolyn died and he was also having a whole load of problems with trying to sell his coach firm.

    Unusually for someone of his generation he’s good at getting how he’s feeling to his doctor!

    He stopped it about a month ago and has had no side effects.

    footflaps
    Full Member

    As an aside – why the **** shouldn’t you eat grapefruit if on sertraline?

    IIRC Grapefruit affects a few drugs, it’ll be some enzyme which either prevents you breaking down something or stops you breaking it down, so you end up with a higher blood level.

    dannyh
    Free Member

    escape the intense vivid dreams

    Interestingly I quite like these. Now I am in a better place in general the dreams are mostly just neutral (not happy, but not nightmares) and very ‘psychedelic’. I guess that is similar to the difference between a ‘good’ and ‘bad’ acid trip – it depends on the frame of mind you are in. Not that I have ever taken LSD – I don’t have the confidence in my subconscious being positive enough for that kind of thing!

    Sertraline doesn’t half give me shits, though. Volcanic bowel movements are now the norm! Seeing as how I find that amusing, I classify it as a favourable side effect. 🤭

    DezB
    Free Member

    Interesting stuff. (apart from dannyh’s last paragraph, which I could do without! 😛 )
    Not for me, but my other half has recently had her sertraline dosage doubled to help deal with hideous work issues and has become, er, strange. She says it’s helped a lot, but I, rather selfishly, have well… hmmm.. lost interest in this “new personality”. I didn’t equate it to the drugs, but now cos of this thread I’m thinking that must be what’s doing it.

    nickc
    Full Member

    As an aside – why the **** shouldn’t you eat grapefruit if on sertraline?

    Furanocoumarins

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    WhyTF would you want to eat grapefruit anyway?

    WorldClassAccident
    Free Member

    I like grapefruit as a sweet alternative to lemons but then I guess you probably don’t eat lemons either.

    RE the boss conversation

    Sorry for the manner in which I expressed my views yesterday. The stresses and issues I described had driven me onto medication from which I am now withdrawing and the outburst was a symptom of the withdrawal. I still believe the key points I raised are valid and would like to work with you to address these. How would you like to plan the approach fior issues X, Y, Z…

    fazzini
    Full Member

    I am really appreciative of this thread and the responses – thanks all, I feel like less of a freak today.

    Me too…

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    And me.
    Thank you all for your thoughtful responses.

    And big thanks to Cougar, that was lovely mate, just what I needed.

    I can keep updating if it will help anyone?
    Please let me know.

    Love to all.
    And thanks again,
    Pete.

    dannyh
    Free Member

    Another one adding to the group hug here – seeing this many responses means I feel less of a pariah than I did before.

    This phrase bears repeating as well:

    generally some stuff is worth getting angry about

    I only really want to avoid the totally irrational and inescapable anxiety/stress/anger/depression spiral that I can be vulnerable to at bad times. The emotional downside of SSRIs is that they mitigate the peaks of the ‘highs’ as well as the troughs of the lows. I still wanted to maintain some semblance of normal ups and downs so I didn’t have to depend 100% on the pills.

    Each to their own, and I know we are all grownups here, so can make our own choices – I just think it is helpful to know that it is not a binary thing. Yes, you are either taking them or you’re not, but there are degrees and amounts to take into account too. You can choose grades between the two extremes of “100% ‘clean’ and ‘defenceless'” and “maximum dose and unable to be bothered about anything, good or bad”.

    It helps if you find explosive diarrhoea (especially after some ale) amusing too.

    😉

    twinw4ll
    Free Member

    I’ve never taken any medication, but my career is littered with ripping the shit out of bosses/incompetent fools, crack on i say.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    And big thanks to Cougar, that was lovely mate, just what I needed.

    For the avoidance of confusion, I had a Rusty visitor today. … That doesn’t help really, does it.

    For anyone genuinely concerned, he appeared to be in good spirits.

    Good to see you, man.

    DezB
    Free Member

    Hope you didn’t make him angry.. 😉

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