I feel like death warmed up – bad eggs?

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  • I feel like death warmed up – bad eggs?
  • yunki
    Member

    I fear that I may have made a schoolboy error..

    Growing up in the 80s I’ve always had a healthy fear of eggs, but starving hungry earlier this week, with left over mashed potatoes in the fridge I took a chance on some eggs that I found to throw together a Spanish omelette type thing..

    In my defence my other half had told me previously not to worry too much about sell-by dates on eggs, and that they should be OK if they smell OK..
    It turns out that she meant if they were over by a few days, and not a few weeks..

    Been feeling nauseous and ‘bowelly’ the last couple of days..
    Today I’ve been listless and achey and my blood feels like it’s on fire

    Am I about to meet a grisly end..?

    If it was the eggs, you’d have been sick, and it would probably have been over by now. What you have is manflu, and sounds like a terminal case by the sounds of it. Man up, soldier.

    Could be a brain tumour?

    Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    Mrs Y “so, how do you like your eggs in the morning, Yunks ?”

    Yunki “evacuated explosively,sweetie”

    Apparently they don’t want people to dial 999 over frivolous issues when the megastorm kicks in. So I would do it now.

    dannyh
    Member

    Yep, if it was food poisoning you would probably have chucked up by now.

    If you have what I had last week, then good luck!

    If it this year’s edition of the winter bug then the following will happen (from my experience).

    You will turn yourself inside out through your ringpiece. You will feel like death the next day. You will feel hot and sweaty a lot of the time for the next few days and will not have a solid turd for three to four days.

    Enjoy!

    dirk_pumpa
    Member

    I love eggs.

    I don’t love old eggs.

    Premier Icon breadcrumb
    Subscriber

    Just remember in the future- bad eggs float.

    vickypea
    Member

    You can tell if an egg’s off by putting it in a bowl of water: bad eggs float, good ones sink.

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Subscriber

    You can tell if an egg’s off by putting it in a bowl of water: bad eggs float, good ones sink.

    much the same as witches

    Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    You can tell if an egg’s off by putting it in a bowl of water: bad eggs float, good ones sink.

    same goes for yer poo

    vickypea
    Member

    Yeah, if your poo floats it’s got too much fat in it!

    llama
    Member

    A few days over is one thing, a few weeks? Not omelette material

    beefheart
    Member

    You are a goner fo’ sure.

    shermer75
    Member

    Ducks also float. If your egg weighs the same as a duck, burn it.

    Possibly cancer?

    samuri
    Member

    If it smells OK it probably is OK.

    Your symptoms sound more like being pregnant.

    CountZero
    Member

    Your symptoms sound more like being pregnant.

    The results are back, congratulations, your hippopotamus is pregnant!

    yunki
    Member

    Thank Christ that’s all it is then.. I feel like I’ve had one of Chris Morris’s Blue Jam piss transfusions..

    No vomit yet though, just crippling nausea..
    Feeling miserable

    Premier Icon footflaps
    Subscriber

    Yeah, if your poo floats it’s got too much fat in it!

    Well my poos are pretty much unflushable. I could paint them orange and sell them as life jackets….

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Apropos of nothing; my other half’s watching Buffy tVS at the moment.

    The episode’s called “Bad Eggs.”

    yunki
    Member

    I’m guessing it’s maybe one of the power flues from the other thread..

    brakes
    Member

    my poos are pretty much unflushable. I could paint them orange and sell them as life jackets….

    :waits:

    :checks classifieds:

    :waits:

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
    Subscriber

    just crippling nausea

    That’s just crap – knowing where you live & grew up, I can’t imagine anything other than licking a whole family of skanky cane toads could take you to a level of nausea you’re not familiar with!

    Chin up fella, unless you’re gonna blow, then chin down.

    Hugs 😉

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