Brandy still makes you randy though – right ?

You should try Buckfast.

You should try Buckfast.

1st meal of the day?

When recent bonfire got out of hand I reached for my blowlamp.
I now need a new shed and have painted on eyebrows.

You should try Buckfast

hmmm, maybe. Tried rum – couldn’t sit down for a week

The brandy / buckfast / rum cocktail.

It’s not for everyone.

It’s called a “Centre Parcs”

30 days have september, april, june and november all the rest have 31. Well, except February which has 28 but theres really good explantion for that, that doesnt really fit i this song….

That’s a lie too. Here’s a better rhyme.

“All the months have got 28 days, and 11 have got 30.

Some have got an extra too. Louise is really dirty”

Does that clarify?

On other matters and bringing phrases up to date…. does Bear Grylls shit in a 5 star hotel a short helicopter ride from the woods he wants you to think he shits in?

In other, equally crushing, news… despite regular and frequent consumption of apples, I seem to be seeing more and more doctors. I demand to know why.

Are you eating the pips? They’ve got arsneic in them.

4 large glasses of wine = 4*250ml which is a bottle and a third! plus larger. Even if you consumed a bottle of aspirin with that lot, you’re getting a shit hang over, unless they got a room full of Shane McGowans as subjects.

In other news, bishop of Rome has large balcony.

They’ve got arsneic in them.

Cyanide chap, cyanide.

Given that living on a planet with a breathable atmosphere doesn’t exclude us from being in space, it turns out that in space people can sometimes hear you scream.

It turned out that Bob was not in fact my uncle. He was my great-uncle. **** YOU MUM AND DAD!

I’m checking it out tonight. I’ll report back tomorrow.