Looking for some ideas here. Child doesn’t like it as “every day is the same” she wants school one day at home the next. On off on off.

Daughter was 4 in August so started in reception this year. Same school as nursery but now 5 days a week rather than 3.5. Afterschool and breakfast club on 3.5 days are the same as the nursery staff so very familiar.

She started off loving school at the beginning of term and now every morning is a screaming battle. Other half is very calm and patient. Two more weeks of this is looking very difficult.

Tough love.

We went through this at nursery.   You need to maintain the effort as difficult as it is until he/she gets used to the idea it’s not going away.  Jnr will get through it, parenting is hard work.

At the same time I’d personally quietly try to find out if there’s another reason, but at that age it’s a bit young for things like bullying to be having an impact on thier happiness at school, but it’s possible there’s a background issue.

What kryton said, kid will eventually get used to it.

I’m not sure what’s going on in year R but higher up in my youngest ones primary the Covid restrictions are really affecting who they sit and play with.

My youngest (y4) has packed in breakfast club because they can only sit with their class bubble and do colouring / drawing as they can’t make other activities Covid safe. He was pretty much the only regular attendee from his class. He’s old enough we can give in on that and he can walk to school when he’s ready. He used to like it for the social aspects.

Could this or similar be a factor?

Yep we’re not giving in but its defiantly trying! This term feels so long. I always thought that when I was at school.

Speak to the school to see if they’ve noticed any change in behaviour. Generally speaking when younger kids kick off with parents about school, as soon as they walk through the door of school and the parent’s leave they’re fine.

Seem to remember going through this – eldest daughter would scream at being left at school, but according to her teachers she’d be fine all day.

This term feels so long.

That won’t be helping either – your daughter will be getting tired, and needs a break. Unfortunately she’ll have to wait, c’est la vie! Tough love it is I’m afraid.

He’s old enough we can give in on that and he can walk to school when he’s ready. He used to like it for the social aspects.

Could this or similar be a factor?

She is usually better at breakfast club because it a smaller group of people to go into and the nursery staff are there. She tends to be ok once we (or most of the time my partner) have gone. Probably cumulative tiredness as suggested

We had this many moons ago with my youngest (now 11). Always got upset in the mornings and didn’t like school. On the way home she would always talk about the behaviour ladder at school and loved it when she got moved up, so we ended up making one for home, and if she got to the top of the ladder she earned a treat that we’d agree beforehand. It was often a weekend visit to the soft play area. It really helped as she was so focused on going up the ladder she was almost sickly sweet 😀

EDIT: I almost forgot the weekend play visit was the top of the ladder, we did have levels within that for lesser treats. That was her idea as at the start she said it would be too hard to get to the top. It turns out it wasn’t I think I visited every soft play centre in Sussex back then. It even got to the point that I was penalising her for minor violations like not putting her shoes in the cupboard properly.

Are you or Mrs Brick WFH at the moment- perhaps that is influencing her behaviour?

Never had the tantrums about going to school, but at that age both of ours were exhausted by the end of a term. Full time school is a huge change for them.

“I don’t want to go to school!”
I was expecting you to tell us that you’re the teacher . . .

She’s very young – only just old enough to start school this year – and is probably absolutely knackered. I certainly notice more difficult behaviour with mine as we get towards the end of term.

“I don’t want to go to school!”
I was expecting you to tell us that you’re the teacher . . .

Mrs Pondo certainly is, and I hear it every morning. 🙂

Let the school know the trouble your having the mornings, they can try to help. Our kid was August too, and it’s quite tiring for them, the school will understand cos they have this every year.
Also, as she’s still 4 she doesn’t legally have to be in full time yet.
The school may allow some half days as an adjustment period, you might have more cooperation if she knows she’s coming home for lunch. All schools are different on this, it’s down to their policy, but might be good option for these next could of Weeks.
Remember they want to make it work too.

Is there another kid being horrible to her?

As ransos said, she’s very young. Son is late July so youngest in class and only now in yr2 has he stopped pining for his lovely nursery days.

Speaking from personal, painful experience…

We have twins (now in yr 7). Twin one always has enjoyed school and will even battle through illness to go (we had to force her to stay at home this week as she was too ill to go). Twin two has always struggled with a similar argument to the OPs daughter ‘it’s all the same’ etc. Some days, weeks, months and even years were better than others but it eventually exploded in year 5 – and I mean nuclear. Screaming, crying, anxiety, separation issues etc etc etc. At first the head was making threats of ‘you don’t come in and you can’t do x, y or z’ which often would have impacted her friends (ie, not allowing the whole group to do their singing routine at the summer concert if she didn’t attend). Then she REALLY changed – the language and threats became a very real concern for her welfare (my wife works in a school so recognised the warning signs early on). We had to go back to the school and tell them that she wouldn’t attend if she wasn’t able and to be fair, the school then recognised there was more to her actions than just not liking school and various specialists were brought in. There were weeks where I was WFH on two or three days a week as she simply couldn’t bring herself to walk through the doors at school. On days she did manage to go in she would often spend up to an hour sat with a teaching assistant in the library crying before she could bring herself to go into her class.

She ended up in ‘art therapy’ (undertaking art tasks whilst the therapist talks, eventually getting in through back doors as her mind was so focused on her art). Around a year on things started to get a bit better but she still needed daily support. But, most importantly, she had identified why she struggled, what upset her and what she (and we) could do to help her.

Slowly she got a bit better, things were put in place to help her and we accepted that if it became to much, we would never MAKE her go (we could tell when she was really melting down as she would shake and go completely white).

This is all a bit of a ramble, but from *OUR* experience, assuming it will go away may be a mistake. Expecting her to get used to it or suck it up and get on with it may be a mistake. Ensure you engage with the school early on, listen to her, talk to her and (most importantly) escalate things if you feel you need to.

FWIW, our daughter started ‘big school’ this year and is a changed person – she still likes to be dropped off by mummy (our other daughter walks in) but apart from that you would never know that she ever had an issue.

I am WFH my partner is a teacher (secondary school)

Good ideas on the ladder. She is pleased when she is on hold at school.

Looking for some ideas here. Child doesn’t like it as “every day is the same” she wants school one day at home the next. On off on off.

Daughter was 4 in August so started in reception this year.

I’m pretty impressed that she can come up with such a compromise at 4 – most of the 4 year old’s I’ve encountered (not that many, tbh) couldn’t.

Don’t see the issue her. Pack her off to school.

I don’t want to go to school either but then remember I’m a teacher and have too lol

Going to school every day from 4 is pretty intense though. In Finland… etc

Just tell her to wait and see what it’s like to get an actual job, then she’ll know real monotony, if that doesn’t work then use the old ‘i’ll count to 3’ trick ;o)

In reality though, my kid is the same at times, she’s just about 5, in reception and every morning it’s a chore getting her ready and out, she doesn’t want to miss out on the ‘fun’ that’s happening here, but reality is the minute she sees a school friend she’s off and barely looking back. I don’t think WFH is helping folk these days with this, as kids think they can do the same and have fun with mummy and daddy.

It is probably a mix of several things, tiredness, boredom, a phase, be sensitive (to issues like Johndoh’s as well as just generally empathetic) but ultimately you are a parent and we need to do things to our kids that they may not appreciate but are for the best. You aren’t their best friend, that might be an also but it’s not a given….

Ladder charts are just generally good, we had a marble jar. Good behaviour and you get to add some marbles to the jar and when it’s full (OK, to the line) then a treat was earned. We always tried to never take marbles out, bit new-agey maybe but reward the good, not punish the bad kind of mantra. There were time when they could easily have all gone back in the bag though…….

I was the same. I hated school from day one. I can still remember my first day, I think I cried for most of it. Didn’t help that my Mum Molly coddled me. First sign of a sniffle and it was a week off school. I must have had months off in total. Probably learned more from watching schools programmes when off sick than I did at school. Contrasting my kids now 18 and 16 and both at sixth form have probably had around a week off sick each in total in all their time at school.