I am the UK's fastest, fattest mountain bike racer.

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  • I am the UK's fastest, fattest mountain bike racer.
  • I’m probably not really, but you can’t beat a controversial topic title for saving a thread from the obscurity of dropping off page 1 with no replies. πŸ˜‰

    I threw down the Chunky Challenge at Hit the North last year and nobody took it up, so I think I can rightfully claim to be the fastest 90+kg rider at that event.

    This year, I’ll make it a bit more general.
    Some of us are never going to catch the racing snakes who win endurance events, so let’s have a challenge of our own to add some interest.
    The rules are open to discussion, but I’m thinking no minimum weight limit or waist size, just anyone who thinks wearing XXL lycra shorts in public is acceptable behaviour.

    Not all events have a veteran’s class, so I can’t see them ever having a heavyweight class, so this will have to be all unofficial.
    I ride as fast as I can, but at the end of the day, I’m just a chubby duffer riding a bike round and round a field looking for like minded and like bodied people to race against.
    If you want to join in, sign up here.

    I would Graham but I’m just too heavy!

    tazzymtb
    Member

    most of the crap fatties are riding bikes in Belgium this weekend at the SSEC so you’ll have little competition. Get yourself to the SSUK in september and you can have drinking competitions the night before/during and after and ride singlespeeds with lardy dress wearing attetnionmongers πŸ˜€

    TheSwede
    Member

    Cough Lardy?

    tazzymtb
    Member

    I wasn’t thinking of you darling (well not in that context anyway) πŸ˜‰

    not in Belgium ?

    Did’nt there used to be a Clydesdale class for the larger rider, or was that just in the U.S ?

    Junkyard
    Member

    i will take you in fastest vegan and we get lardy v skinny thrown in for free
    Winner gets to feel even more superior than we usually do 8)

    tazzymtb
    Member

    i will take you in fastest vegan and we get lardy v skinny thrown in for free
    Winner gets to feel even more superior miserable and craving bacon than we usually do

    that’s better πŸ˜†

    Eyepic
    Member

    Would consider it ….. but if skinny little scrawny 90Kg runts can be involved why bother????

    (130KG)Fastest really fat Barsteward around (probably not really though).

    David

    Premier Icon Garry_Lager
    Subscriber

    I’ll take you on Graham – currently obese on the BMI, and finding it no obstacle to climbing like a mountain goat, and descending like the wrath of God. Just name the challenge – but please no endurance bolex, I’ve got pies and ale to see to.

    Junkyard
    Member

    πŸ˜† @tazzy

    Premier Icon shortcut
    Subscriber

    Think there should be a minimum weight limit or something BMI related!

    Premier Icon martymac
    Subscriber

    its not whos going the fastest, its whos having the most fun.
    i think someone famous said that, but i cant remember who.
    im in the 130kg class too.

    Yeah, I guess BMI score would be the way to do it.
    Mine’s currently 27.5, so I suggest we set that as the lower limit, otherwise I’ll end up excluded from my own challenge.
    We could set the limit at 30, which is the official definition of obesity. It just means that at 6’1″, I’d have to drink 9 litres of water before the weigh in at the start of the race to make 104kg.

    toys19
    Member

    Well at 5ft5 n3/4 and 92 kgI think I’m in. Thats a bmi of 32, how do we measure how quick we are? Can we do a rdti? (Relative distance travelled index) given that I am only 5″6′ I think I shouldn’t have to go as far as the 6 footers in the same time?

    Junkyard – Member
    i will take you in fastest vegan

    Don’t shoot the messenger. πŸ˜‰

    Premier Icon njee20
    Subscriber

    The US certainly did have a Clydesdale category for you fat buggers.

    Personally, I think you should just lose some weight, rather than celebrate your life shortening girth…

    **jogs away casually, knowing the fatties will be distracted by pie rather than giving chase**

    πŸ™‚

    bassspine
    Member

    just anyone who thinks wearing XXL lycra shorts in public is acceptable behaviour.

    and for that reason I’m out.

    6’2″ 105kg safely encased in baggies thank you.

    rustler
    Member

    Can we call it the Fray-Bentos class…

    My uni mates tied empty Fray-Bentos tins to my bumper when I got married.

    kaesae
    Member
    GW
    Member

    90kg? surely that’s about average weight for STWers πŸ˜•

    riding round a field is incredibly dull, I reckon you should put an event for fatties on at Glencoe DH track, it’d be like a human easter egg rolling sesion. πŸ˜€ There’s a decent cafe at the bottom fo full english breakfasts πŸ˜‰

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    US races do indeed have a Clydesdale class.

    You need to have a speed/fatness ratio. So the 130kg riders would not have to go as fast.

    OR just have handicap race. Everyone has to wear weights to get them up to 130kg. That’d wipe the smug grin off Njee’s face I’m sure πŸ˜‰

    willard
    Member

    I weight 91.6 kg, but would not describe myself as fat. I’m 6′ 5″ so am getting close to racing snake territory.

    How about going for a %bodyfat classification instead?

    I’m over 90 kilos, but riding round a field? You can F*******g keep it.

    πŸ‘Ώ

    Maybe some sort of handicapping system would be the way to go.
    10 laps at 130kg = 13 laps at 100kg = 20 laps at 65kg

    GW
    Member

    or 0 laps if you have enjoy riding decent terrain

    philfive
    Member

    let’s have a fat class at the next brownbacks race at lee quarry?

    Premier Icon Harry_the_Spider
    Subscriber

    Brilliant. πŸ˜€

    If I was still running events I’d have the “Fray Bentos” class. To qualify you would have to heavier than my shed with a bike in it. The winner would get a box of “Waffer-Thin” mints.

    Junkyard
    Member

    Menatal Mickey I am so upset I might write a letter now if only I could find the pen in my handbag

    ‘Through abstaining from meat, a widely established symbol of power, status and masculinity, it seems that the vegetarian man is perceived as more principled, but less manly, than his omnivorous counterpart….
    vegetarians are seen as pacifist, weight-conscious and liberal, while fast-food lovers are perceived as patriotic, pro-nuclear and conservative.

    up yours fascist πŸ˜‰
    The steretyping would seem broadly true but IME a vegie would rather date a veggie. Dont care if I am seen as a wimp tbh.

    philfive
    Member

    should get a pie eating class sorted, get it sponsored by holland pies who are local to Lee quarry. 1 hour of up and down racing to see who is the fastest fatty πŸ˜€

    would be the best race class ever πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    I’m over 90 kilos, but riding round a field?

    Why do people think XC racing is riding around a field?

    bmi 27.5 here. Apparently ( according to folk on the Wednesday ride) I am a racing snake – that ate a wild boar

    so I like the idea of a “pastry positive” racing class especially if there is a super veterans sub category.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    Oh, BMI 26.5 here.

    Why do people think XC racing is riding around a field?

    Because the OP said its what he does?

    GW
    Member

    πŸ˜†

    no improvement in your idiot rating yet then molgrips? πŸ˜‰

    ton
    Member

    i can ride a bit for a fat bloke………….when well.
    130kg’s and 33% bmi.

    5thElefant
    Member

    94kg and 12% bf here. Wouldn’t take much to get down to 90kg and 10%.

    Not sure I’d want to be associated with Chunkies mind. 😳

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    Apparently not GW. Although that seems to be subjective πŸ™‚

    If you want to ride around a field take up cyclocross.

    Junkyard
    Member

    21 BMI am I out then?
    You would expect a proper cyclist to be a bit heavier as muscle weighs more than fat

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    That’s what I keep holding onto JY πŸ™‚

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 57 total)

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