I got a letter from a building society that I had an account with as a teenager – 25 odd years ago. I’ve called them up and I had an amazing £33.69 in my account, which I am closing.

On what do I spend my new found and totally unexpected wealth ?

( Is a 1/4 of a hooker a real thing ? )

In some parts of the country, that’s more than 1/4 of a hooker.

Treat yourself to an evening out at the cinema and a beer or two afterwards?

67 potnoodles, on offer in morrisons

down here in the muff (plymuff!) it will probably get you several hookers!

go fill your boots 😆

Can of Coke and some grot.

Hello Sir,

I regret to inform you there is a £33.69p admin fee when closing an account. I will go ahead and deduct this from your funds payable, with the remainder being deposited in your chosen bank account within 3 working days.

Kind Regards,
Life

Type “what can I buy for 33.69” into google and the world is your oyster.
https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=what+can+I+buy+for+%C2%A333.69&tbm=shop

e.g.
http://www.affixit.co.uk/Expanding-Foam-Tape/Seal-Joints-9-20mm/Expanding-Foam-TapeBR9-20mm-Joints-BR-30mm-Width.Html?gclid=CJKXrMuQ7s0CFfMW0wod3h0ELA

Some more closely resemble your purchase power than others to be fair. From the first page of google results I’d have the emperor LP, or the Gin.

pizza toast

Google’s answers in order:

1. A bottle of Star of Bombay Gin

2. Urinaid chewable tablets for cats and dogs.

Not a hard choice to make.

go fill your boots

That’s a pretty niche perversion. Don’t they charge more for that in Plymouth?

go crazy in aldi!

That’s a pretty niche perversion. Don’t they charge more for that in Plymouth?

It’s frowned upon on the IoW but I believe that’s because it focuses attention toward the toes, and more specifically the gaps between them.

c’mon, I used to live in Hampshire, I KNOW they don’t have gaps between their toes on the island, all 6 are webbed.

c’mon, I used to live in Hampshire, I KNOW they don’t have gaps between their toes on the island, all 6 are webbed.

😆

Quite.

😉

I have £38 in one which I thought was closed 😀