My 3.5 year old son has lots of friends in the local area, but has one friend in our street who he has been friends with since he was about 1. This kid does not appear to have many friends himself and his parents have always been a bit pushy about him having regular contact with our son.

In the last 6 months the boys have started visiting each others houses without support from their own parents. Before this visits always involved at least one parent from each side being present.
This was driven by the other boys parents as they run a business from home, so sending him to us gave them some time to get on with work. I have never been that happy about the arrangement and they are the only parents that do this.

Anyway the other week my wife picked our son up from their house and when she got there another kid was also at the house, the daughter of a family who moved into our street about a year ago. The parents of this family have kept themselves to themselves and the kids seem to be left to their own devises and to be honest are a bit feral. We are not happy for our son to play with these kids as we do not know the parents and feel the children have no boundaries.

So when the mother of the friend contacted my wife by txt about a visit to their house, my wife told her she was not comfortable with the other kids being there. The father of the boy then gets involved (texting from his wife’s phone, wired in itself) and basically implies we are being snobs. My wife reply’s that things can get confusing via txt and it would be best to discuss it in person.

So I go around and discuss our concerns about the kids and basically the Dad has decided they are his new little project and he cannot possibly turn them away, so all play time will have to be at our house if we do not want our son mixing with these kids.

My wife who is 20 weeks pregnant is not happy with the idea that we do all the caring, so we have just not been in contact. The guy is now texting trying to arrange for his son to come over and saying they are having difficulties managing their sons expectations.
From my point of view this is his problem, which he has created. My son has not even mentioned visiting their son as he has plenty of other friends.

How do I tell him this, with out completely falling out with him,seeing as we have to live across the road from him.