Everything you need to know is contained here 😀
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DShTxEmLtEM[/video]

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqWSjilyuK8[/video]

I can’t believe nobody has yet suggested using the angle grinder or circular saw.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY[/video]

time to bring out the Bombers

“Once I shot a pigeon sitting at the top of a tall tree at 100yrds+ with a .22 air rifle, standing on a windy day.”

Did that as a kid with a .177 once. Between 90-110 yard (judging by pellet drop, OS map and pacing) headshot from inside a barn roof overlooking a field. It was windy but I was prone and had already fired a ranging shot before they had landed. Didn’t feel remotely guilty though, they were pests.

Didn’t bloody know .177’s could kill pigeons cold at that range.

A family friend who was an ex Belgian para laughed his head off and seemed rather impressed considering I was small….I had already learnt breathe control techniques to keep muscles as still as possible and my heart rate down….had even set my air rifle up to have a single stage hair trigger which you just had to brush to loose off a round….. he then went on to keep telling me I should join up as sniper, much to the annoyance of me mam lol. I miss the old days of me and my mates roaming round farms with guns lol.

Another friend once went a bit OTT and shut 70 pigeons in a barn then shot them all at point blank with a shotgun.

Vulture squadron

My cousin once saw a swan fly into an electrical pylon. Him and a mate got out to take a look and do the humane thing. They were prodding the “dead” swan with their boots and a stick when it recovered. Cue pissed off swan that decides the two people near it are responsible for its sudden stop midair and the inevitable occurs (sadly no arms torn off, fingers pecked off etc).

the inevitable occurs (sadly no arms torn off, fingers pecked off etc).

Did it break one of their arms?

I went out to it last night and it ran off at some speed, but didn’t take off. Later we saw it in the garden with what we think was its boy/girl friend as they have been having some serious hanky panky of late. Anyhow both wings were tucked in and all appeared ok.

Got up this morning and the pigeon is sat on the fence looking all quiet and asleep. No noise roused it though, alas the poor thing was dead.

Sure it wasn’t a parrot?

It’s probably pining for the fjords.

Got up this morning and the pigeon is sat on the fence looking all quiet and asleep. No noise roused it though, alas the poor thing was dead.

It was dead standing up?

It was dead standing up?

Only because someone had nailed it there!

Yes, well stood/sat, good balance for a dead thing. I poked it to see if it was properly dead and it fell off the fence in to next doors garden 🙂

MY cat used to regulary torture birds and leave me to finish the job.

squash-head-under-the-heel was the quickest and easiest way for me. (Crunch-FLAPFLAPFLAP-done)

(tried the neck thing initially, but the head does come off and its not nice)

Aren’t most birds ‘protected’ now? Don’t know if pigeons are excluded, but I’m sure there can be some pretty serious consequences these days….say if a neighbour filmed you and put it on youtube….

RSPB would be the best bet. They’d do it for you and leave you guilt free. Everyone’s happy.

Aren’t most birds ‘protected’ now? Don’t know if pigeons are excluded, but I’m sure there can be some pretty serious consequences these days..

link
Yup, 400 quid fine for a drunk student pulling the head of a pigeon in St Andrews.

Various legislation covering “prevention of suffering” which would cover you (assuming it was in a bad way) but didn’t apply to a pissed student pulled the head off a feral pigeon in a town centre…

Lay a trail of bird seed to tempt it to the edge of your house, then clamber up onto the roof and drop an anvil or piano on it.

In any future occasions like this, remember it has to be an ACME piano or anvil to work properly.

In any future occasions like this, remember it has to be an ACME piano or anvil to work properly.

On the contrary – in all the footage I’ve seen, no ACME kit ever works properly.

On the contrary – in all the footage I’ve seen, no ACME kit ever works properly.

Exactly!

Pigeons are not protected if they are damaging crops or property.

There also a countrywide fatwa on grey squirrels issued by the forestry commission, I believe although I am not sure you are perfectly entitled to blow their brains out as soon as they enter your property.

You need to watch the movie big daddy as they deal with the pigeons pretty well.

This thread just made my afternoon.

Shouldn’t really tell you about the trick of soaking the ends of swan vestas in petrol so the head goes like putty, then squashing that into the back of an air rifle pellet.

Don’t judge me, it was boring in the countryside with only a grifter to ride. Although that grifter was used to dispatch many a mixy rabbit.

Reverse the car over it.

A good story about dispatching animals. My dad got sick of the squirrels in the back field, that were being encouraged by the next door neighbours feeding the little sods.

So he bought an air rifle and started culling the population, Taxi driver stylee. One day he’s got one in next doors garden in his sights, fires, but just winged it. Seeing it obviously in pain he nips next door to finish it off with a shovel. On entering the garden, he is confronted not by the neighbour, but the next-door-but-one neighbour from the other side, also carrying a shovel.

So my dad decides to fess up and says “listen, I’ve got an air rifle and I’ve just shot the little sod, so I’d come to finish it off”

“ah” says the bloke. “its just that I’ve got an air rifle as well, and I’ve just shot it too”

Its just occurred to me that I’ve never asked my dad who eventually did the honours

😆

Not much use to the OP but our late cat was like the Grim Reaper for local wildlife – mice, rats, birds, unidentifiable furballs – it caught a ringed racing pigeon one day and left it outside the back door there wasn’t a mark on it.

Didn’t really get started until it was six or seven years old it caught something one day and never looked back I guess it was the old blood lust.

Our cat (half Scottish feral) litters the lawn with rabbits and I can’t speak highly enough of a good whack with my killing spade. Once buried, they do wonders for Asparagus in the fullness of time.
Word of warning, if you are woken up on your lie-in day by a distressed wife to despatch a poorly pigeon don’t get in a huff and storm out in your dressing gown and break the nearest bit of wood over its head as you will then have to go back to B&Q to buy another kitchen shelf that was due to go up that day.

Considering the age of this thread, I’d plum for taking it to the vets if it’s still breathing, it probably deserves it.

On a more sensible note, anyone will tell you that dropping an anvil from the roof is not the way its done – you need to drop it from a road sweepers dust cart suspended from a balloon.. Just don’t drink the glass of free water when you pick yourself out of the hole you created on impact… 😀

Don’t pluck the whole thing, no need. Just do the breasts, slice ’em off and pan fry for a few minutes. Serve with olive oil mash and a reduced red wine jus. Done.

My mate “Woody” had a bird jump into his MTB front wheel spokes when we were 18. Wasn’t a pigeon though. Just like a sparrow or sommart.

Span round till it got to the fork then its head taken off like a cheesewire.

We reckon it was a suicide attempt. Made a right mess

When Ive had a few bevvies I always tell this story about pigeons, no one ever beleives me, but its hard to make it sound convincing when shandicapped. My mates just laugh. Its fooking true, its amazing, read it !

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Pigeon

Also see Bat Bomb !!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb

your mates obviously don’t watch QI

A mate and I were once minding our own business when a pigeon flew into a wall and collapsed to the ground. My mate was concerned and put it on it’s two feet and watched it walking round in a circle, head lolled to one side. We decided to do the humane thing and my mate grabbed its head and twisted it right round. Having a broken neck this didn’t kill it though, no resistance.

On his third try he put some right wellie into the twist and the head came right off! A truck driver sat in his cab watching, reading the paper and drinking from a flask spat his tea all over the paper. I was staggering about laughing hysterically. We walked away from the crime scene and later came back and saw a copper walking out of a bakery holding a brown paper bag out in front of him with a weird smile on his face.

Rabbits can be killed with karate chops to the neck. Saw a karate black belt do it once after chasing it across the countryside (poor rabbit zigged and zagged but the guy ran in a straight line and snatched it up, the shortest distance between A and B is of course a straight line)

Best suggestion: sharpened boning knife like slaughterhouse workers use. I still have mine in the kitchen cupboard waiting to put wounded animals out of their misery. If you haven’t got one, then a wide chisel and hammer will do. If you’re more Tim Taylor, then piss on it and then clamp on your car battery charger.

WHAT.

THE.

****?!

Do we have a serial killer in our midst?

……..to put wounded animals out of their misery. If you haven’t got one, then a wide chisel and hammer will do

ha ha , hammer and chisel FFS !!!

I take animal welfare very seriously. Got to do it the fastest and most humane way, none of this creeping up behind ’em, saying a prayer and slitting their throat. They rear poultry in big barns and if one has a broken leg the workers just lay their necks across the metal base of the walls and stand on them! Don’t miss though. I once saw a turkey run over by a lorry and it looked real bad, head extended up and making plaintive peeps. There were grown men crying. One of the lads walked up with a knife and slit its throat and just walked away.

First, you have to catch the pigeon…

It’s wounded? Flapping around the garden? In that case I’d just get the bow down off the wall.