I'm sick to death of Hora's rohypnol blow darts. Its not that I mind so much what he does to me to while I'm out cold. Its the bruises and scars I've got from constantly falling off my bike as i pass out.

Its worth remembering that.

Why no bear trap? She'll be much easier to keep if she can't run.

I'm a leg and bum man, myself, so I'd hate to ruin her.

Damn… I have a foot fetish…

I thought 'ruining her' was the ultimate goal?

Lets see how long Hora takes to chip in with reference to flash grenades etc. I'm surprised he's not already

**** it then, if you not going to be left with an embarrassing situation (doing the same commute every day with her, with awkward silences/glaring), then just ask her for her number (nothing else)… she can only say no, she may say yes!
.
I live with an extremely pretty and intelligent young lady, who I thought I'd never have a chance with.. I just asked in the end, and she (very) surprisingly said yes. Admittedly we did work in the same office, so I had at least a chance to talk to her first & not be a total psycho asking her out of the blue.. 😆

WTF @ the comments on the news story linked above:

It is a shame men and women can perform such ill mannered act of ill hated ethical demeanor. This is what produces a mean imaged humanity and creates just such ugliness within humanity as a whole entity

Ask her where she got the bike from as your workmate/sister is looking for somthing similar.. would she recommend the bike/shop she got it from etc thats a fairly harmless icebreaker and not too direct.

Or just pass her a nice note saying you would be available for coffee sometime if she is interested and this is your number or email.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Shyness can be very appealing to women – glossy and very confident implies you have made a similar approach to too many other women.

Squeeze a tit and go "beep beep"?

EDIT for tit read boob

Next week is also my last week at work, so unless I'm up early on my holidays I'm unlikely to catch her. And when I say 'catch' I don't mean with like a bear trap or something. Maybe a net though…

If its your last week, then just stump up the courage to ask her what her name is.

Hi there, this is possibly the last i'll be cycling this route, but anytime i've passed i've thought you were dead cute. Whats your name?

or

'ere doll, ah pure fancy you by the way, geez a gobble…

😯

Like so.

to be serious for a minute:
Just stop her saying "excuse me" . Then say something like "this probably sounds a bit strange but you look nice and friendly and I was wondering if you fancied a drink sometime". She will either say yes (good) or say no (but most women would be flattered regardless). Don't engineer something – it's probably go wrong and you'll end up looking like a ****!

aww, I like mastiles_fanylion's suggestion – flowers from a complete stranger would brighten my day, and I don't even like flowers.

Can't you just smile nicely at her – and judging by her response, (slow down to talk or speed away 'cause you're scary looking) follow on from there?

Stick a post it note with 'how about it luv' written on, on the end of a broom handle and wave it in her direction as you pass.

You have nothing to lose and you're running out of time. AG is spot on stop her, tell her you'd like to get to know her better and would she be up for a drink or coffee.

Worst she can say is no.

Yay, sensible responses! I am a coward, and I know its just a case of breaking the ice, so thanks for some tips from the ladies. Insider knowledge and all that 🙂

Just stop her saying "excuse me" . Then say something like "this probably sounds a bit strange but you look nice and friendly and I was wondering if you fancied a drink sometime". She will either say yes (good) or say no (but most women would be flattered regardless). Don't engineer something – it's probably go wrong and you'll end up looking like a ****!

Oh be quiet, what would you know 😉

Seriously, massive skids. Chicks dig 'em.

Just concoct an imaginary fantasy about her and hold on to it for the next 10 years. The sex will be far better that way too 🙂

If you can't pluck up the courage to speak, just write it all down on one of those chalk boards they use at the TDF and flash it as you ride past. When she's ridden into the canal laughing at your pearls of wisdom, rescue her and bob's your uncle.

Try and remember that just cos she looks hot and rides a bike does not mean you's get on at all – i.e. it's not a big deal.

50 First Dates style: write something on your back/rucksack (that might mean stopping just before you get to her to attach it). Cycle past the first day with a "Hi, I'm Kit." sign and look back at her as you pass. The next day have a "What's your name?" sign and hope the next day she tells you.

just be like

"hey your saddle looks uncomfortable, how about sitting on my face?"

don't leave it as an option, make it a mandatory statement!

"Hi, I'm Kit."

"What's your name?"

Hopefully not Michael!

Hello Michael

either

a. Shy away from any actual contact, ask what to do on a bike forum, fantasise endlessly then go home and masturbate until your penis is nothing but a bloody stump.

b. Stiff arm her into the bushes and go out for a bike ride.

HTH

on sunday night chalk up "call me for a good time 079098xxxxxx etc" on the road in a big heart shape at the lights you always stop at.
monday morning make sure you get there just before her and subtley draw her attention to it and grin innanely whilst fiddling with something in your pocket

he won't do or say anything is my guess……

'Opportunities are never lost as someone else will take the one you missed'

he won't do or say anything is my guess……

Ah, riling me into making a move! You will be the first to know anyway.

PMSL @ Rubber Buccaneer! 😆

Just concoct an imaginary fantasy about her and hold on to it for the next 10 years. The sex will be far better that way too

Stop looking in my head 😡

Genius Thread!!

PMSL @ Rubber Buccaneer 🙂

Just do it.. nothing ventured nothing gained!

You know how sometimes you see a very good looking woman on the arm of a guy who looks like the arse end of a bus and you think, how did that happen? Most of the time it's because they are loaded and have a @@@k like a sheeps heart on top of a tin of vim, sonmetimes it's because they had the balls to talk to the woman.

@@@k like a sheeps heart on top of a tin of vim

Tea/monitor interface, and absolutely crying with laughter now. Superb!

Can we swap commutes? Why do you get hot chicks and I get old giffers in raincoats?

You know how sometimes you see a very good looking woman on the arm of a guy who looks like the arse end of a bus

Yes Kit you too could be that ugly fecker we all loathe… go for it!

Why do ….. I get old giffers in raincoats?

That's probably what Kit's would-be-bride is thinking.

Still in fits of laughter at Joolsburger too, that's the funniest thing I've heard for months 🙂

"Did my reputation precede me, or was I too quick for it?"

courtesy of Zapp Brannigan

[tears of laughter rolling down face in busy office]

……….please stop it……..!!!!!!

[/tears of laughter rolling down face in busy office]

joolsburger you bastard! I'm freelancing in a place where no-one knows me. Everyone is now looking at me funny as I've literally spat coffee all over my monitor

Chapeau Rubber Bucaneer that made me laugh as well 🙂 I really need to grow up.