Viewing 36 posts - 1 through 36 (of 36 total)
  • How to encourage a reluctant child to exercise?
  • vickypea
    Free Member

    My 10 year old son has announced that he “hates sports” and is now reluctant to do any exercise. I’ve always done lots of exercise myself, and although I totally get it that competitive or team sports are not for everyone, it’s difficult for me to understand why anyone would hate exercise itself. As it’s really important to health, I feel that I should be doing more to encourage him to be active, because setting an example myself obviously isn’t enough. He doesn’t have any health problems and is very slim, but regardless of that I think he should be moving around more!

    He refused to learn to swim until he was 9, and that was only because I insisted that it was an essential life skill.
    Until recently, he did enjoy hockey, running, and ju-jitsu, but he now says he hates all sports. We do a little bit of cycling and walking with him, but he’s terrified of dogs, so that’s always a challenge! Most of his friends are sporty, so it’s not as if he’s hanging around with an inactive group.

    Any suggestions would be gratefully received!

    iolo
    Free Member

    Take away playstation, ipad/whatever and no computer. Send him out to play with kids his own age in the actual outside. He’ll soon start running about, messing on bikes and such like not realising he’s doing actual exercise.

    porter_jamie
    Full Member

    Maybe he would rather play with his mates than being shipped around to various ‘activities’

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    pleaderwilliams
    Free Member

    Try finding out why he all of a sudden “hates sports”?

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    I didn’t do sports at 10years old I jyst ran around like a maniac and fell out of trees.

    Some might say I still don’t do sport now…

    vickypea
    Free Member

    Porter-Jamie– you’re being a bit presumptuous. He isn’t “shipped” to any activities! The only activities he’s EVER been taken to were swimming lessons (and only until he could swim 50 m), and ju-jitsu (at his request). I’m not trying to make him do a sport, I’m trying to encourage him to enjoy a bit of exercise with us or with his friends, but he is reluctant to even do that.
    I spent my childhood running around outdoors riding bikes, getting muddy, climbing trees etc but he doesn’t like getting wet, or muddy.

    5thElefant
    Free Member

    Pretty normal. Especially with sporty parents. Get him a motocross bike. Hardest exercise he’ll ever do, but he won’t notice.*

    *Other fun stuff that doesn’t look like exercise may exist.

    poly
    Free Member

    I think the problem lies in your opening post. You don’t understand. You think he should (be more like you).

    Most “sport” is only any fun if you are any good at it. Not everyone is. You’ve forced him to learn to swim, you take him walking and cycling places with dogs which he is scared of… Take a step back, if he’s not packing on the pounds and is happy is that not a good start. get used to it he’s getting to the age where what you want is automatically resisted.

    joshvegas
    Free Member

    To be fair to Jamie I read that as perhaps he doesnt want to do “sports”. being active and doing sports aren’t the same thing.

    Stop referring to it a sports? Could it be as simple as that? At school I wasn’t sporty what this actually meant is I hated football and was too small for rugby.

    IanMunro
    Free Member

    it’s difficult for me to understand why anyone would hate exercise itself. As it’s really important to health

    Like Broccoli and Kale? 😉
    I mostly hated sports when I was a child because I was rubbish at them.
    As an adult it’s much more inclusive, but as a child if you’re not winning, you’re a loser and weak. Maybe he’s been the target of some bullying and doesn’t want to repeat the experience?

    nuke
    Full Member

    Maybe don’t sign him up for ‘sports’ but get him to join other clubs that will result in outdoor activity. My son isnt sporty but he did enjoy Scouts and now does Air Cadets twice a week…gets him out and he does, by default, end up doing outdoor activities/sport.

    Personally i dont enjoy ‘sports’ but i love mountain biking which has the fringe benefit of making me exercise…i don’t want to force my son to do sports he doesnt enjoy just to get exercise; once he finds a sport/outdoor activity he enjoys, invariably the excercise will be there

    huckleberryfatt
    Free Member

    I think anything that’s labelled as sport obliges you to be competitive and sometimes you want to have a day off from that and just do stuff for fun. You can hate sport and still enjoy other ‘active’ pastimes like bowling/ice skating/horse riding/skateboarding/climbing wall/general messing around outdoors.

    caspian
    Free Member

    I’ve always done lots of exercise myself

    I think those closest you will tend to end up disliking things that you are “too” into. This applies not only to kids. The more outdoor sporty stuff I do, the more my wife hates this kind of stuff.

    As much as I would like to start a thread entitled “How to encourage a reluctant wife to exercise?” I fear the crushing weight of Mumsnet angst would obliterate me in a fiery ball of “fattist sexist bastard”.

    Kids are perhaps easier to manipulate. I don’t like to use the ‘M’ word but that is essentially what you are trying to do. I would just ignore the problem for now so long as he’s happy. He’ll come around if you are not putting any pressure on him. He will probably surprise you, actually.

    sandboy
    Full Member

    My 10 year old son came home last week saying that his PE lesson as more like going to the gym! I asked what he had been doing and it appears to be some kind of circuit training which he did not enjoy. When I asked why, he replied that it was hard work and made him sweat. I then asked him if he felt good afterwards to which he agreed. I went on to explain that exercise was good for both body and mind and that it was a major factor in his overall health. This week he came home and said he really enjoyed PEand tried to push himself harder than the week before and was looking forward to beating his score from this week. You say that you are active yourself and like many parenting issues, monkey see, monkey do is usually the way forward.

    edenvalleyboy
    Free Member

    Is he unhealthy (medically and not to your idea of what healthy is)? I’m trying to guage your perception of why he needs to do more sports. If he is unhealthy then you’ve got to find something that’ll interest him that he wants to do. If he’s not unhealthy – then all’s good right? Couldnt ask for anything better…he’s his own person and if he doesn’t want to be sporty that shouldn’t be something to worry about…

    dawson
    Full Member

    I sometimes get my two to go Geo-caching – gets them outside and a bit of exercise without them realising

    Drac
    Full Member

    Stop his pudding.

    BillMC
    Full Member

    There might be a bit of power play going on here. Cut down on the opportunities for sedentary and passive indoor stuff. My son wasn’t a keen team player but he ended up being a very proficient juggler and skateboarder. My kids never really had electronic gizmos but they did have a music room and that was much more beneficial, and popular with mates. 6 hour jam sessions etc. The focus needs to be on active and creative stuff rather than consuming stuff, electronic or otherwise.

    vickypea
    Free Member

    Thanks everyone- some interesting food for thought.
    I have tried to suggest activity (eg, half an hour on the bike somewhere nice) rather than sports, and maybe we just haven’t found the right one for him. Or maybe I should quit worrying about it so much, and get off his back, as some of you suggest.

    wobbliscott
    Free Member

    Sometimes it’s not a democracy and it’s a parents job to get them to ‘JFDI’. I remember as a kid getting dragged off to do all sorts of activities with my parents. I never got a choice. I hated it sometimes, but I look back now and i’m not emotionally scarred or damaged and actually can draw upon many benefits and learning points from those early experiences that have stood me in good stead.

    I’ve dragged my kids off almost kicking and screaming to do various things before, but after 30 mins or so into the activity they move into a state of reluctant acceptance and 30 mins later they’re having a whale of a time.

    brooess
    Free Member

    I wonder if he’s just digging his heels in as a form of rebellion… we all do it as kids, especially as we get older, to try and push back against authority and gain some of our own identity.

    If he has no health issues, maybe don’t worry about it so much for now. If he’s hanging around with an active, healthy peer group that’s a good thing – he’ll follow them voluntarily and pick his own way of being active.

    I was pretty active as a kid – it seemed normal in the 70s and 80’s but I didn’t get really passionate about running, cycling and hillwalking until my late 20s really… so if he’s not massively sporty right now this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re setting him up for a life of obesity. No doubt he’s secretly inspired/impressed by your healthiness and he’ll come to it in his own time when he’s older.

    Alternatively, have a chat with your GP?

    doris5000
    Full Member

    a couple of other points to consider, based on personal experience

    – is there some other possible reason – is he being bullied or has he fallen out with his friends that he used to do the sports with? This could taint his association with ‘sports’

    – on starting secondary school i started to lose interest in organised sport. i just liked riding my bike. when i turned 13 my parents would let me ride off into the hills with a friend. i never thought it was ‘sport’ (although i was doing 40 mile rides every sunday) – it was my chance to get away from dorky parents and stupid school and bullies and being laughed at for having long hair etc etc

    it was ‘my’ thing rather than something organised by adults and that made me much more inclined to pursue it!

    although sometimes my mum did have to kick me off the computer and shove us all outside 😉

    midlifecrashes
    Full Member

    If he doesn’t like sport or exercise, don’t do any. Take him to the cinema, the video game shop and maybe go bowling, if that’s not sport. Just make sure you walk there and back.

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    Hard though it is try to find something they like that is exercise. For me it has been cycling and football [ too old now and knackered hamstrings]. I never ever did exercise just for the sake if it I did things i enjoy that kept me fit
    You also have to face the possibility that he just does not like it and would rather do other things like art or music or whatever. Our jobs as parents is to guide and give them opportunity not compel. It is infuriating to watch them ignore our sage like wisdom with just a withering dismissive look

    Flaperon
    Full Member

    I wish I’d started running when I was 10. A fairly fast runner now but if I’d started 20 years ago who knows where I’d have gone. But if my parents had forced me to go out running I’d have refused to do it out of principle.

    Hated sports when I was little because I wasn’t any good at football or rugby. Also I was slow and podgy so not any good at athletics either.

    Appreciate that this doesn’t help now. But if I could go back and change one thing about my childhood/teen years I’d have forced myself to do enough exercise that I’d discover I was actually good at some of it.

    bencooper
    Free Member

    I hate exercise. Of course I do – it’s hard work and it’s boring. Running, seriously? Obsessing about heart rates and suchlike? Who on earth would actually enjoy that?

    If he’s healthy and not massively overweight, I don’t see the problem. He’ll hopefully find new activities to do that keep him fit without being “exercise” – I did, hated sports at school but loved messing about on bikes and things like that.

    deepreddave
    Free Member

    In my experience it seems inextricably linked to on-line internet gaming type stuff. I do know how to restrict this but the off-line battles are not fun.

    wanmankylung
    Free Member

    How much do you value an easy life?

    stevenmenmuir
    Free Member

    Trampoline? I wouldn’t have had one but we got ours for our son to help with his diving. It’s just as popular with our little girl and any kids that come round.

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    Try backing off. Mine eventually changed, one has taken up running and the other’s a roadie currently in Girona with his cycling club. He also does track. His obsessiveness comes from me I think. 😳

    monksie
    Free Member

    “…maybe we just haven’t found the right one for him”

    Therein lies the problem and the answer (if there is one). Why are you trying to ‘find’ him a sport? Let him go and hang out with his mates. I bet they’ll sometimes take bikes, sometimes a ball, other times just hooning around causing some minor disturbances to the localised general population.
    Maybe, he just doesn’t like regimented sports and games. I suspect, as many have attested to, that the harder you push him, the harder he’ll resist.

    Saccades
    Free Member

    Hit with a stick or riding crop.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    I have a mate who considered himself totally anti sport, hated it all. Aged about 30 he had to cycle to a new job and ended up becoming a top club level triathlete and roadie. He hated sport because of the gung ho team sport bollocks, and inly enjoyed it when he was able to do it on his own terms. Eventually returning to a club, but not that often.

    Point is, people need to.come to these things their own way. Often, as with music, films books etc etc having someone else be really enthusiastic and try to get you to do something is what puts you off more than anything. Especially when it’s your parents. To this day I just can’t bring myself to read a book my mum’s said she’s liked.

    isitafox
    Free Member

    Buy/borrow/steal vicious dog, take both to park, give boy 10 second headstart

    yunki
    Free Member

    Iolo clearly doesn’t have kids!

    eerrr… Is doing a sport compulsory? I wouldn’t have dreamt of doing a sport at that age.We took our two for a walk along the river today.. About three hours tramping about and another three with them stripped naked wading about in the water..

    (they are aged 3 and 6)
    We’re all feeling pretty pooped right now 🙂

    deadkenny
    Free Member

    Push the bike stuff. Tell him it’s not sport, just fun. I never consider it a sport. Introduce him to local jumps maybe or rides around interesting places.

    The dog fear when riding, don’t know other than just deal with dogs as I do. Don’t alarm them, slow or stop and say hi to the dog. Even one rushing up barking tends to chill if you greet them and don’t go riding past giving them something to chase. You learn what dogs will chase and which don’t seem to be bothered.

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