Well after 30 years of building cars and bikes including bikes for pro athletes Ive learnt to know when something is about to give or when something has enough pressure and needs no more
But you don’t do bolts up until they are ‘about to give’ – that’s usually too tight.
The torque for a bolt depends on all sorts of things, including what it’s clamping. I used to do the same as you, then I got a torque wrench and I realised that sometimes I was okay, and others I was too tight. For example, as I had endless trouble with my Marzocchi forks I ended up taking them apart a lot. I did the legs up to what seemed reasonable and not too tight, but after twenty or so goes the bolt/valve stem snapped. Under-specced, perhaps, but the official torque specs really aren’t very tight and I’d been overdoing it.
Of course at this point you’ll assume I’m a ham-fisted idiot who has no clue mechanically (I’m not)… so I don’t even know why I’m posting this 🙂 Fortunately for you and everyone else who doesn’t use a torque wrench, the margin of error is usually pretty big. Before I got a wrench I never had issues either except maybe a couple of disc brake bolts when I first got disc brakes. The torque on those is really low btw.