How stinky are your trumps?

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  • How stinky are your trumps?
  • Premier Icon kimbers
    Subscriber

    Holy moly

    Full roast 2 days in a row, plus cheese, pate, port, wine, beer

    My eyes were stinging when I lifted the duvet over my head this morning to check it out.
    My wife was not best pleased.
    My 6 year old son asked me to apologise at breakfast and he normally thinks trumps are hilarious.

    Salad for me today

    bikebouy
    Member

    You are gross.

    fin25
    Member

    Mine are so bad even my dogs have stopped enjoying them.

    Premier Icon big_scot_nanny
    Subscriber

    Similar issues here in the Nanny household, absolutely rank! Hard to isolate the cause, I blame the after eights 🙂

    grahamt1980
    Member

    **** horrific today.
    Wife has just complained about them

    arrpee
    Member

    Birds falling, lifeless, from the sky.

    Premier Icon funkmasterp
    Subscriber

    Made the missus wretch yesterday. Never felt such a mix of shame and pride before. Think I’ll be mainly drinking water today 😳

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    Spanner manor, as we speak:

    Never, ever playing ‘let’s steal something at midnight mass’ again.

    Premier Icon bearnecessities
    Subscriber

    Is that a honkey?

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    We’re having a turkey like everyone else next year.

    Premier Icon mikewsmith
    Subscriber

    Something that was on at the local seems to be able to generate turnip vapour

    jekkyl
    Member

    not so much the smell here it’s the quantity, how many in 10 minutes would constitute illness?

    newrobdob
    Member

    Mine aren’t stinky. I am disappointed. However they are EXTREMELY numerous, loud, violent and prolonged. I swear I’m going to need some sort of burn gel soon.

    ferrals
    Member

    It’s not just the trumps, I am sweating eau de sprout at the moment 😀

    Premier Icon cardo
    Subscriber

    NBC underpants on

    Premier Icon tomhoward
    Subscriber

    Biblical.

    fin25
    Member

    I’ve had to check my gusset for mahogany twice today already.

    😳

    Premier Icon senor j
    Subscriber

    I slept downstairs last night , pale ale&rum and ginger (not my normal tipple but supplied by a guest) makes for a heady brew. Bawk.

    Premier Icon Onzadog
    Subscriber

    Yesterday? Like pure, unadulterated death. Even I needed to open the car window. Although I’m not sure if the streaming eyes on my part were from the smell or the laughter.

    Ho hum
    Member

    Not too bad at the moment, thankfully.

    When my IBS was really bad a year or two ago they were frequent and putrid.

    Premier Icon downshep
    Subscriber

    Home made lentil soup starter followed by roast with red cabbage and sprouts two days running. Mine don’t even smell like farts any more, just pure methane.

    The magic duvet needs tying down and a carbon capture system.

    Premier Icon CheesybeanZ
    Subscriber

    Absolutely vile after too many of the Bil pickled shallots and homemade piccalilli…… vile .

    Premier Icon jimmy
    Subscriber

    Sprouts actually make mine more palatable, if that’s possible – dropping from 10/10 for a festive 8/10. They’re more volumous (cubic metre, not decibels) but the none festive fart is a lot more offensive.

    Have evidently reached that age where family imagine I’ve developed an insatiable taste for chocolate liqueurs and Ferrero Rocher products. I tried to off them all in a day (questionable festive products, not family) along with more veg and gravy than have eaten the last month. Followed by Cornish Blue cheese and various alcoholic drinks. Chilli nuts to finish.

    The results are odious, hot, clinging, and heavier-than-air. I am now following in my own fartsteps wearing a permanent worried expression. Time to ditch the onesie and socks combo and go outdoors a lot. Or go swimming in some over-chlorinated water.

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    I was sharing a room with my little brother for the last couple of nights… He turned in first, when I went in later I actually thought he’d shat himself. He’s an abomination. But he’s gone home now so all I need to do is burn the bedroom and it’ll be fine.

    km79
    Member

    I’m sleeping with the window open just incase I die.

    monkeyboyjc
    Member

    Mine were so bad last night I woke my self up with the smell – I had to turn the light on as I thought the dog had poo’d on the bed!
    Wife was not pleased, so I blamed it on her.

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    I nipped out in the car earlier, gleefully parping and giggling to myself as I drove along. As you do. I then nipped into the fresh air and popped in to the shop. On my return, as I opened the car door and sat back in it I felt physically sick, as my nasal passages were assaulted by the mother of all toxic odours. It literally brought tears to my eyes. I drove back home with the windows down. 😳

    andyl
    Member

    nothing like a good bodily function thread to make you chuckle away at your laptop screen until your ribs hurt!

    Premier Icon edhornby
    Subscriber

    Like something has crawled up by bum and died whilst up there

    Premier Icon jambalaya
    Subscriber

    My favourite line from Shrek, as he’s climbing up a sulphur emitting hillside

    Donkey: Have you farted ?
    Shrek: If I had farted you’d have died

    nbt
    Member

    Just back from a week in our little caravan. It’s a bloody good job neither of us smoke as the air was a bit thick at times, a stray flame could well have seen us go boom

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Subscriber

    Genuine tears of laughter here.
    Well done people.

    milky1980
    Member

    Stayed at my parent’s house over the festive period so slept in a spare room on my airbed and in my sleeping bag. Knew I’d been parping through the night and that they had been potent, didn’t realise until I went to roll up the sleeping bag before coming home just how powerful they’d been! As I rolled it up and the air escaped from the filling a very concentrated waft went right up my nostrils. Eyes watered, struggled to breathe and had to go out of the room for fresh air :mrgreen:

    It’ll be getting washed ASAP 😯

    Premier Icon kimbers
    Subscriber

    Last of the turkey is going into an epic paella right now

    Once more unto the breach….

    hooli
    Member

    I was woken with a slap last night. Seems I smell bad enough to wake the wife up 😀

    P-Jay
    Member

    My marriage is only safe because my Wife is blowing off as badly as me, we’re both rank amateurs compared to the youngest in the house Miss Jay at 2.5 can clear a room and we’ve got to check her nappy 4-5 times a day “no way that’s a fluff, she must have pooed!” But nope, bless her.

    She likes an audience now though, not very lady like but she’ll ask everyone in the room to listen when she’s ready.

    Premier Icon MrOvershoot
    Subscriber

    Well after the usual gargantuan Christmas dinner, then a cheese board yesterday that would repel a whole heard of goats tonight has been..

    Bubble & Squeak including Sprouts, Roasties, Parsnips, garlic mushrooms & carrots. Accompanied by left over Pigs in blankets & pork stuffing all garnished with baked beans.

    Lets put it this way most of us are well on the way to a Mt St’Helens recreation

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 52 total)

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