How NOT to remove stone from an Avocado: RudeBoy=Idiot + Gory Pics content.

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  • How NOT to remove stone from an Avocado: RudeBoy=Idiot + Gory Pics content.
  • RudeBoy

    For the few of you still requiring confirmation- it’s now official. I don’t even need to leave the comfort of my own home, to injure myself.

    RudeBoy’s Top Tip: When trying to remove the stone from an avocado half, don’t stab the stone with a very sharp knife, to lever it out, as the knife may slip, and stab you in the finger. In fact, my mummy says it might actually be better not to use a knife at all, but a spoon instead, as this may be slightly less dangerous.

    Hmm, that stung a bit, ah well, bung a plaster on it. It’ll be ok.

    Er, actually, that’s a bit messy, and now the bathroom is splattered with red stuff. Possibly might need looking at, that. Oh dear, A+E Minor Injuries Unit, then…

    ‘Ah, Mr RudeBoy; let’s have a look at that.. shoon’t need stitching…oh, hang on, it might, actually’.

    Ow. It’s a little bit hurty now. RudeBoy’s mummy thinks RudeBoy’s been ‘very silly’.

    Oh dear.

    Is there any hope?

    What a wally 😯


    “East End lad doesn’t know how to eat posh fruit shocker”

    Nice one! Starting a “what gloves for stitched finger” thread?


    that flap looks like brants seatstay brace

    **** that’s gruesome πŸ™

    Slap the middle of the knife blade into the stone. Twist the knife and the stone is released.


    Thats kind of like the time I found out what happens if you hold a large piece of picture glass flat by one end. Apparently it snaps in your hand and nearly takes your thumb off


    looks like it stung a bit, avocado are slippery buggers, hope it heals soon.


    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, red stuf…

    *licks lips*


    Rudeboy does this mean you missed the footy 😈

    Premier Icon Sandwich

    That’ll teach you to stick with jellied eels, pie,mash and liquor. πŸ˜€


    hope it heals quickly,

    i’m still recovering from this,

    cut through the tendons with a stanley knife,
    recover time 12 weeks!
    but its given me lots of time to reflect on the wonders of the opposing grip πŸ˜€

    A friend of mine managed to stick a knife right through the middle of his hand whilst trying to de-stone an avocado. Turned out his surgeon was writing a paper on avocado stone removal injuries.


    more like avaca-don’t

    Just so I don’t appear smug – todays experience

    Don’t test if water is nearly boiling by sticking you finger in it.

    Brocolli with extra skin anyone?


    oh dear, thats you “special” hand as well isn’t it?

    heal fast little fella!


    Just have to say; Massive thank-you to the nurse at the Royal London Hospital, Whitechapel, who sewed me up. TBH, the local anesthetic needle was loads more painful than the actual stabbing. I HATE needles.

    God Bless the NHS. A truly wonderful institution.

    Silver lining; got to have a few samosas at Tayaabs after, with me mum (she actually ‘phoned me from Whitechapel 5 mins after the incident, as she was shopping there), and then a lovely pint of wheaty beer in the Captain Kidd.

    And Liverpool stuffed Real Madrid 4-0!

    Life could be worse.

    ‘ere you are Rudey, you might find this useful :

    Self-Defense Against Fruit


    the local anesthetic needle was loads more painful than the actual stabbing

    That’s what I found.

    My ex’s sister’s ex-boyfriend (stay with me) was a chef. He once cut the tips of three fingers off at once. Slicing lemons. That’s gotta sting.


    Life cold be worse.

    yep brant could send you a free ti on-shed frame


    Ooh, colande; that looks a lot worse! πŸ™

    On the subject of injured fingers, I am actually an expert (some pleasant fellow once tried to bite one of me other fingers off, once. Now that DID hurt. 7 hours in A+E, followed by an hour-long operation to repair the damage. ‘De-gloving’ is not something I really wanted to discover ‘first hand’, as it were…), and I can categorically say…

    …I think it’s gonna sting come the morn. Once the self-administered ‘general anasthetic’ has worn off…



    someone tried to nosh your finger off 😑 how did this occur?


    use superglue to stick the flap back down.

    Premier Icon cinnamon_girl

    Aw poor RudeBoy πŸ™ Hugs and good wishes from C_G.

    Why you eating that poncey food anyway?



    Eh? Avocados are good for you.




    Thank you, CG!

    Premier Icon Sandwich

    Only time I had stitches the worst bit was when the last stitch went through skin with no local in it! πŸ˜•

    Premier Icon theotherjonv

    I presume the local was a ring block in the base of the finger. I had similar to have a badly busted finger reset. The first bit was bad, it’s when he said ‘right, now I’ll just put one in the other side’ that the screaming started!


    Right. Pizza’s in the oven, and me and that avocado have unfinished business (I never got to eat it, just bunged it in a Tupperwareβ„’ container and stuck it in’t fridge). It’s become a quest.

    Mmm, victory is.. avocado flavoured.

    These painkillers are nice.


    Ouch! Been there with my eyeball and a screw driver…

    At least you’re ok and still had avacardo in the end.

    Another pub story too.

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner

    Painkillers and a stressful day?


    If you’d have had mushy peas instead, none of this would have happened.


    Yes but if he had mushy peas he would have been a scum sucking chav with no taste as they are the food of the devil!

    Its true, ask him yourself when all mushy pea eaters go to hell for imbibing his satanic abomination of the saintly vegetable!

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner

    He’d have only cut his hand open on the can anyway.

    Daveob, are you Peter Mandleson by any chance?

    Fish, chips AND MUSHY PEAS.
    Pudding, chips, MUSHY PEAS and gravy.

    Them’s the rules, simple, life enhancing, easy to understand.
    Get a grip man! πŸ™‚


    My other half taught me the correct method.

    Take one half of said fruit, and a sharp knife.

    Hold avocado in palm of hand, stone up in the middle.
    With the knife, strike down flat blade against the stone, so it basically cuts into it, like chopping a carrot I suppose.
    Whilst it’s in there, turn the knife, twisting out the stone.
    Works every time.

    [/the land of avo’s]


    Well, I don’t mind telling youse, but it hurts like a bastard this morning. Last few hours, I’ve been trying to get some Ibuprofen to work, as the pills I had last night, I only had a couple left. They make you feel a bit floaty, speshly with a beer.

    S’just annoying now. Got wash-up to do, but that’s gonna be difficult. Got a load of stuff to prepare for a website, and typing is a bit laborious. No swimming, gym or bikey. Bollocks.

    Zaskar, I don’t think I want to know about that one, and I REALLY don’t wanna see pics! 😯 πŸ™

    Ex-pat; that tip was also given to me by WCA, up there. I’m a bit dubious. I don’t think I’ll be going near any sharp knives for a while…




    oh dear,

    it will be fine soon enough

    Hope the pain eases Rudeboy. I am suprised it is affecting your typing, I thought you were a clever dick. πŸ˜‰

    The advice about destoning we both gave really does work. Just don’t use a meat cleaver or you will go clean through the avacado and cut your hand in half. Also don’t use and electric carving knife.

    Last time I had my fingers stiched up like that I ended up strpping the bad finger to the one next to it with an elastic band (not too tightly) and it seemed to stop me banging it as often.

    me and that avocado have unfinished business (I never got to eat it

    The stone of a ripe avocado can be very easily removed by gently teasing it out with a spoon. If the avocado stone requires stabbing with a selection of sharp instruments to remove it, then the avocado is clearly not ripe.

    A proper ripe avocado has a rather soft feel to it, and when cut in half, will often reveal some discolouration in the form of slightly darken blotches. It is at this point at it’s most flavoursome, with a full nutty flavour which is sadly missing from firm under-ripe pale green ones.

    The culinary delights and subtle, yet, sophisticated aromatic flavours of the majestic avocado pear are clearly wasted on you mate.

    In future, try sticking with conference pears.

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