Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 56 total)
  • How much would you sacrifice…?
  • Premier Icon mboy
    Free Member

    Hypothetical question… How much would you sacrifice to live in your dream home, right near the head of your favourite trails?

    OK, so this is a loaded question… I have just found a suitable property that’s 200yds from the head of my favourite local trails. I live 15 miles away at the moment (with nothing closer worth riding), both my GF and I work on the road anyway usually (WFH mostly at the moment obviously!) and the potential new house is arguably more central to our respective areas anyway, though further from the motorway network but not massively so. The biggest issue is that her kids are 15 and 17 and sitting their GCSE’s and A Levels respectively next academic year, they’re currently as school a mile from where we live currently. So if we moved, there’s a potential year and a little bit of 15 miles each way to and from school for a year before her Son has finished his A Levels, and her daughter could go to a more local 6th form to the new house…

    Money wise, it’s at the top end of our budget, but we could afford it. Both our jobs are quite secure right now, and I don’t plan on making any other large capital purchases for a long while (I’ve got more bikes than I need, that’s for sure!).

    So… Would you?

    Premier Icon poah
    Free Member

    I wouldn’t – kids schooling is more important than me being close to some bike trail (P1, P7 5th year for me)

    Premier Icon sharkattack
    Free Member

    No.

    The biggest issue is that her kids are 15 and 17 and sitting their GCSE’s and A Levels respectively next academic year, they’re currently as school a mile from where we live currently

    You’d seriously mess with this so you can make it slightly easier to dick around on your bike?

    Premier Icon scotroutes
    Full Member

    15 whole miles? That’s nothing.

    Premier Icon andrewh
    Free Member

    I would.
    A year and a bit isn’t long and how often do you get this chance?
    Assuming said dream home is unique or at least very very rare in this location. If it’s one of dozens on an estate just wait a bit

    Premier Icon Aidy
    Free Member

    A year and a bit isn’t that long.

    15 miles isn’t that far – easily rideable.

    There’s a reasonable chance schools aren’t even going to be back for a good while yet.

    Premier Icon StuE
    Full Member

    Like a shot

    Premier Icon RustySpanner
    Full Member

    Depends on how well the kids/you two could cope, but yes.

    We moved to a house that was a complete wreck, but equidistant from our jobs and in a lovely, peaceful neighbourhood.
    More importantly it’s next to our favourite trails and has infinite possibilities for access to even more wonderful stuff.

    It’s not the type of house (70’s A frame) either of us had considered, but location trumps everything.
    And luckily it was cheap, if stressful, to rebuild.

    A few years on we wake up every morning and are hugely grateful that we live next to some of the best walking and riding we’ve ever experienced.
    Every morning.
    You cannot believe how good that feels.

    However, I would put the kids first. What do they think?

    Premier Icon mboy
    Free Member

    You’d seriously mess with this so you can make it slightly easier to dick around on your bike?

    For balance, I spent 10yrs of my life travelling 15 miles or more each way to go to school and back…

    They haven’t been to school properly in months… The govt and this pandemic are messing about with their schooling far more than a 35min car journey each way would…

    Their mother can work from her company’s office rather than from home if she wants to, which is 1 mile from their school. So if we moved, it could mean she does 30 odd miles per day, 5 days a week for a year or so. She’s said she’s more than happy for that.

    It isn’t just about me “dicking about on my bike” as you put it, but not gonna deny that my drivers to live there are strongly biased towards the trails being on my doorstep.

    We’re not allowed to travel for exercise at the moment, but will be allowed to travel to take her kids to school… 🤷🏻‍♂️

    A year and a bit isn’t that long.

    Indeed

    15 miles isn’t that far – easily rideable.

    Her kids won’t ride bikes full stop! They aren’t gonna ride 15 miles to school… And 15 miles each way is a hell of a ride on an MTB before and after an actual MTB ride!

    There’s a reasonable chance schools aren’t even going to be back for a good while yet.

    Potentially yes… Her son already had his GCSE’s screwed up by the pandemic (though he did benefit from higher grades in a couple of subjects than he was predicted!). Her daughter isn’t especially academic and isn’t looking to go into further education currently beyond what is mandatory… Neither of them have close friends locally, or are particularly fond of school anyway. They would both definitely appreciate living in the country more than the urban environment we live in right now going forwards.

    Premier Icon LAT
    Full Member

    what is the 15 mile journey like? 15 minutes or an hour?

    my other thoughts would be how often houses come up for sale in that location and are you looking to move house?

    Premier Icon mboy
    Free Member

    We moved to a house that was a complete wreck, but equidistant from our jobs and in a lovely, peaceful neighbourhood.

    Fortunately, this house looks like it wants for nothing (just as well as I hate DIY!)… It’s rural, but has obviously had money spent on it in the last few years to keep it well maintained and up to date. The price is relatively strong as you might expect, but it’s “affordable” for the pair of us (on an 80% LTV with 25yr term, we can afford the monthly payments and not be overstretched).

    A few years on we wake up every morning and are hugely grateful that we live next to some of the best walking and riding we’ve ever experienced.
    Every morning.
    You cannot believe how good that feels.

    This is where my head is at… It’s in the longer term plan to move that way anyway, but we potentially have the opportunity right now which has thrown a bit of a curve ball, hence asking.

    Premier Icon scotroutes
    Full Member

    For balance, when we were thinking of moving to the Highlands we were going to wait until my daughter had finished 6th year so as not to interrupt her schooling. She was having none of it and we moved between 5th and 6th years. She didn’t want to not have our new home as a “family” home she’d lived in and been part of. Ask the kids what they think.

    Premier Icon Aidy
    Free Member

    Her kids won’t ride bikes full stop!

    Honestly. Kids these days.

    Premier Icon mboy
    Free Member

    what is the 15 mile journey like? 15 minutes or an hour?

    35-45mins each way, depending on traffic.

    my other thoughts would be how often houses come up for sale in that location and are you looking to move house?

    Not very often (that we could afford!), and yes we are/were looking to move anyway.

    Premier Icon tjagain
    Full Member

    What Scotroutes says – the kids views are important in this

    We did a similar move when I was 15. Moving away from my friends made life tricky socially. I hated the extra hour each end of the school day it cost me

    Are you happy to be dads taxi to and from school?

    Premier Icon rickon
    Full Member

    Hypothetical question… How much would you sacrifice to live in your dream home, right near the head of your favourite trails?

    Absolutely everything.

    Premier Icon Ambrose
    Full Member

    We did this.

    And I really wish that we had thought it through a bit more. Great house, quiet lane, village shop about 5 mins walk away, edge of the Brecon Beacons etc. All boxes ticked.

    Except for when the kids ended up moving schools. They did not know anyone in the village because they went to the school that their previous primary fed into which was miles away; we wanted to keep them with their support network.

    So now I have great trails really close by, amazing views of the hills, a garden I adore and a son with no friends in the village despite my best efforts.

    Premier Icon mboy
    Free Member

    However, I would put the kids first. What do they think?

    Don’t seem especially bothered either way. I think both would appreciate living in the country a bit more, but as long as they have an internet connection and their gaming PC’s, I think they’d honestly be happy wherever they are! Let’s just say that both of them have relished this lockdown, they’re both quite introverted and not at all outdoorsy, and all their friends are online anyway! 🤷🏻‍♂️

    Honestly. Kids these days.

    Her son has never learnt! I found it crazy that a 17yo can’t ride a bike, but then that was me putting my own standards upon him. He grew up in a different country, mostly in an appartement block, with a total waste of space of a father who wasn’t at all interested in being a role model!

    Premier Icon mboy
    Free Member

    So now I have great trails really close by, amazing views of the hills, a garden I adore and a son with no friends in the village despite my best efforts.

    Now I was worried about this… The GF’s point of view was different. Her kids are outsiders at their current school anyway and have struggled to fit in (especially in her sons case, as he’s on the spectrum) as they grew up in a different country… This isn’t their “home” anyway, and their school friends aren’t that close at all (in fact her son will admit he’s a bit of a loner at school). I was more concerned than she is/was, she’s pushed me that this would be less of a problem than I was initially making out… Besides, there’s a very good 6th form not far from the new house, and though her daughter would obviously have no existing friends there already, she’s far more outgoing than her older brother is.

    Are you happy to be dads taxi to and from school?

    If and when I’m back on the road for my job properly, it’s highly likely most days I’d be passing within a couple of miles of their school anyway. So not so much of a problem. Also, as said before, their mother can work locally too if required. It’s a year of commuting to school when they’ve never done it before, but that’s it… It’s just a year.

    Premier Icon chestercopperpot
    Free Member

    property

    Such a crude term. Next you will be calling it a “home” for some kind of lifestyle blog or all smiling corporate brochure. Oh please it’s a investment vehicle.

    Premier Icon jkomo
    Full Member

    My favourite trails are in a different country.
    Try living in Oxfordshire.
    The way schooling is right now it’s probably a good time to move TBH. I can’t see it being much of an upheaval.

    Premier Icon Hob-Nob
    Free Member

    Hypothetical question… How much would you sacrifice to live in your dream home, right near the head of your favourite trails?

    It is a loaded question, because for us, that would be in the Squamish highlands, looking over the Sea to Sky area/Howe Sounds bay. The trouble is, it’s half way round the world (inconvenient) and we would need $4m CAD for the house. Also not sure our WFH set up extends to a GMT-8 time zone 😆

    But on a more serious note, we made a move right in the middle of Lockdown1 to somewhere with endless trails on our doorstep, a nice, big house with a big plot of land which will allow us to extend and create something that will really be ‘ours’. The woods are ~20m from the front door & we (so far) have had zero complaints.

    We came from an urban area, and driving to ride was just what we had to do, so have gained massive amounts of time back & the ‘locals’ scene is very different from the punters coming in to ride (literally paths never really cross).

    Financially it wasn’t a difficult decision, we effectively swapped a 3 bed terraced house (down south) for a 4 bed detached place with a separate 2.5 garage & about an acre of land. Both in senior roles for big organisations which we don’t want to do forever, idea being to have fun, pay the mortgage off as quickly as possible and take foot off the gas.

    Looking back, it would have been a bigger sacrifice to stay where we were.

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    We made the move with much younger children 12 years ago to rural. I’m on record about how positive this has been for us.

    We moved again the summer eldest moved to secondary. Again hugely positive and we all like where we live. However, eldest had a tough couple of years settling into school with no friends, not helped by school leadership seeing him as the outsider so thought moving his class not once but twice was ok…

    I’m not sure I would move out of choice midway through senior phase at school. The stability of a few friends is vital.

    That’s quite a chunky commute to school, doubled if there’s evening events, clubs etc on.

    Could you wait a couple of years? Mrs_oab and I are discussing this, we’re two years from youngest finishing school and we love here, just not the house….

    Premier Icon mandog
    Full Member

    What does the misses think?

    Premier Icon CheesybeanZ
    Full Member

    Start packing. Life’s way too short.

    Premier Icon TheBrick
    Free Member

    15 miles is nothing to travel to ride. That is local in my opinion. As far as the kids are concerned how is the quiet son going to make friends in the new area? What does he do or can he do that will result in interaction?

    Premier Icon weeksy
    Full Member

    You know if you’re together, they’re your kids too now.

    It saddens me you keep refering to them as her kids.

    Premier Icon convert
    Full Member

    For me it would need to be a nice (possibly engineered) positive of the move, not the reason. Only one of the family rides from what I can tell. The fact that it is you should not be the motivating factor! If the trails were not there would it still be a contender for your next home? Because that is how the rest of your family will be viewing it. Some subtle nuance here – you talk about them as your GF’s kids – not your shared kids. Is that how it is? They just happen to live with you. Is that a factor in your(personal, as not the whole family) prioritising?

    Sounds like the house has come about 18 months early to me in terms of collective convenience.

    Tricky.

    Premier Icon kiwijohn
    Full Member

    I did.
    & it’s next to a brewery, so double win.
    But kids were never going to be an option for us.

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Full Member

    Needs a link to said house so we all be a little more judgemental tbh.

    As a person with my younger kids but a similar plan for when they leave home, I can’t offer help but don’t envy your position.

    Premier Icon pondo
    Full Member

    15 miles is nothing to travel to ride. 

    This.

    It saddens me you keep refering to them as her kids.

    And this. And a small hint of “if you have to ask for approval, you already know the answer”.

    Premier Icon jam-bo
    Full Member

    Doesn’t sound like you’d be sacrificing much.

    if the kids really don’t care, crack on.

    Premier Icon avdave2
    Free Member

    with a total waste of space of a father who wasn’t at all interested in being a role model!

    Well it’s good to know there is now a man in their lives that puts their interests first. 😊

    As above, talk to them. The travelling to school doesn’t sound like an insurmountable issue but what about being away from friends, those that aren’t just virtual.

    Premier Icon Yak
    Full Member

    If it is genuinely likely to be better for all 4 of you and that includes how you assess kids school/social stuff etc then go for it. But that does mean enough positives to cancel out the school commute.

    Personally I would do as much as possible to minimise the school commute.

    Anyway if it doesn’t work for all 4 of you then wait 2 years and then go for it. 2 years isn’t long.

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    I can assure you that 15 miles twice a day in the school rush hour will get real old, real soon.

    Especially if you have to fit it round work as well.

    Premier Icon nickc
    Full Member

    Hypothetical question… How much would you sacrifice to live in your dream home, right near the head of your favourite trails?

    I moved half way up the country and moved jobs*  it was a great little house, I lived on my own, literally on “blue pig” in Heptonstall…Right up to the point I was flooded…as well. can’t have everything

    * well, sort of, stayed in the same business, but moved “divisions”

    Premier Icon n0b0dy0ftheg0at
    Free Member

    Moped and car for the kids to do their own commuting, once the youngest has turned 16 and they’ve both passed tests?

    Premier Icon FunkyDunc
    Free Member

    Ive moved from an area with amazing riding on the doorstep to an area with ok but not great.

    Some days I miss it, but on the whole not. Although the idea of putting a bike in a car to go ride somewhere feels very odd and alien to me

    I wouldn’t be changing kids routine at that point just for a dream

    Premier Icon mboy
    Free Member

    Try living in Oxfordshire.

    I did… For about 5 years… Didn’t get much riding done back then sadly! 🤷🏻‍♂️

    What does the misses think?

    I’d written off the idea of moving until her kids had finished school. I just assumed it would be a non starter. She’s had a different perspective brought on by the pandemic, and doesn’t see moving whilst they still have a year and a bit left as a problem…

    It saddens me you keep refering to them as her kids.

    Honestly, as someone who had a step parent come into my life when I was already 16, this is just hand wringing of the highest order! They were teenagers already when I came into their lives, I wasn’t there at their conception. I am obviously their legal guardian whilst they’re under my roof, and I care a great deal about what happens to them. But for someone who isn’t your actual parent to get all possessive about your existence is the strangest thing in my book! My Stepmother didn’t do that with me, which I was grateful for. I’ve seen possessive step parents create some real tension in family units before!

    Don’t get me wrong, I know and accept my responsibilities towards them, and I won’t cease caring once they’ve turned 18 and/or moved out of the family home… I’ll give them whatever support they want or need until such a point as they no longer want it, but I ain’t taking any credit for their existence, nor would they want me to!

    15 miles is nothing to travel to ride. That is local in my opinion.

    It’s amazing how a global pandemic can change your perception and make you reassess your priorities. 15 miles to go ride has never been such an issue until it is expressly forbidden by the state!

    In all seriousness though, long term plan is/was always that I’d like to move closer to the trails so I can ride from home anyway.

    Sounds like the house has come about 18 months early to me in terms of collective convenience.

    This is definitely the crux of what I was getting at…

    It is a loaded question, because for us, that would be in the Squamish highlands, looking over the Sea to Sky area/Howe Sounds bay.

    Ok I didn’t think I needed to qualify it with stating I needed to stay in the UK for work… 😉

    Well it’s good to know there is now a man in their lives that puts their interests first. 😊

    As above, talk to them. The travelling to school doesn’t sound like an insurmountable issue but what about being away from friends, those that aren’t just virtual.

    Been a step-child myself, and seen too many examples of both half-assed over parenting and half-assed under parenting. I always go out of my way to treat them with respect and to value their input. If I can give any help and support, they know I’m there for them, but mostly they’re pretty well balanced kids themselves anyway. I just find modern childhoods odd, where kids only see each other at school (even pre-pandemic), and nobody wants to ride a bike or kick a ball about any more! But that’s me judging by my own 40yr old standards, and I know it’s unfair to impose them on anyone else…

    I can assure you that 15 miles twice a day in the school rush hour will get real old, real soon.

    You see, as someone who went to school 15 miles away from home for 10yrs of my life (ok I wasn’t doing the driving!) to me it was the norm… I wouldn’t choose to do it as a long term plan myself (my parents were happy to do it, it was the sacrifice they made to live where we lived and for me to go to the schools they wanted me to go to), but given that my GF is saying it won’t be an issue for her as she can work just a mile away from their school (her company’s head office), she’d be doing just over 30 miles a day rather than 60… Their biggest bugbear might be that they have to wait an hour for her to finish work and amuse themselves in town potentially, before getting a lift home… Not ideal I understand, but I’ve done worse when I was a kid.

    I wouldn’t be changing kids routine at that point just for a dream

    There’s no routine right now! The pandemic has seen to that… There’s a very real chance they won’t be going back to school any time soon anyway… 🤷🏻‍♂️

    I don’t get your bit about it being a dream… Moving closer to the trails isn’t a dream, it’s an inevitability for me… More of a case of when, and exactly where than if.

    Only one of the family rides from what I can tell. The fact that it is you should not be the motivating factor! If the trails were not there would it still be a contender for your next home? Because that is how the rest of your family will be viewing it.

    GF rides on road as well, but ultimately would like to live closer to nature. House is in/by a Forest rather than mountains. In fact there’s a Go Ape only 100yds away, which I’m sure her kids would love! They do like the countryside too, and though spend too much time on their computers, when extracted from the house under duress will enjoy a walk with the dog as and when… The dog would absolutely love it I’m sure, he’d be in his element! GF is quite into running these days too, the forest would provide real opportunity for her there and though she’s not a technically competent Mountain Biker, it gives her the option to ride off road from home too should she choose to instead of going out on the roads… Road riding round there is pretty decent too though, so she’s keen in that respect.

    Moped and car for the kids to do their own commuting, once the youngest has turned 16 and they’ve both passed tests?

    I’ve made no bones about the fact I’m happy to help out in this respect… I grew up in the country, a bike (and then passing my driving test and a car) were my routes to freedom. But then being outside of the house most of the time was important to me!

    Premier Icon K
    Full Member

    Kids might end up really disliking school especially now there isn’t the routine of going, decide it is not for them and give up on it because their school day has just become so much longer and they can’t switch off from it.

    It was normal for you when you were a kid to be doing a 15 mile commute each way, you did it for 10 years, it was not new when it was at a most critical time of life.

    I hated commuting to collage on on the 50cc bike. When your 16 an hour a day extra of something that doesn’t interest you is a long time I gave up going to that collage because it was a miserable journey so made the day miserable and I didn’t have the motivation when I got home to do the course work.

    The question to ask your self really is; how much does someone else that you have responsibility for matter to you, could you sacrifice a couple of hour a week for them to get the best future they can for a couple of years and then be able to do what ever you want?

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