OP seems to have revealed the nub of my tinkering problem.
My bikes 5/6 Rest of family 3/9 – it’s sorting out the family bikes that is doing my head in – although technically two are OUR tandems….

Fat – good to go (very muddy though!)
MTB – good to go
Trials – good to go
Roadrat commuter/road bike – no pedals
Winter commuter – good to go (has the roadrat’s pedals)
motorbike – Needs new chain and sprockets! 😥

Edit:
The Mrs’s MTB – good to go
The Mrs’s old MTB – rusty heap in the workshop corner, needs new chain, new cables, front brake adapter* and headset spacers*
The Mrs’s road bike – on the turbo trainer in the front room and hasn’t been used for over a year, good to go I think…

(*I stole these for other bikes!)

5 out of 5 if i take the one off the turbo trainer

all of them. no point having shiny toys is they aren’t ready for action at a moments notice. The longest Delay in getting me out to ride would be deciding which one to take, depending on how “loook at MEEEEEEE” I feel. 😀

There’s 3 in the loft that would just need the wheels slotting back in but I’ve gone off them this year. Never say never eh

The other 4 are ready to go like the front row of MotoGP

0. Currently only own 1 (bicycle) and it’s in the shop for a warranty repair and doesn’t look like I’ll have it for another week or so.

6/6 2 would need pedals fitting as I removed them to make winter storage easier!

6/7. I need to fit tyres and cassette to my CX

2 rideable
1 unrideable crank keeps falling off need a new set current none on the bike

2/3 for me. The 650B+ wheels Ive got on my OO Fatty dont want to be set up tubeless and are sitting stubbornly in my shed, refusing to hold air.

2/3
Kinesis is old faithful that gets cleaned after every ride and sorted asap if it breaks so I know I’ve always got something to go on on.
Nerve got sorted the other day ahead of a failed trip to Dalby.
Soul is a rolling chassis that I can’t get time to finish.
Also I cba sorting longer hoses for the brakes right now.

I’ve had a little word with myself and cleared out things I won’t use, so just the bare essentials now.

6/6 then, though one definitely needs a pump, it’s not punctured.

4/6 for sure.
5th has a flat rear but a splash of sealant and a blast of airshot should fix.
6th has rubbing brakes but is actually ridable at a push

All mine, all my sons, and my wife’s and daughters bikrs are all in perfect working order.

Both mine are good to go. My old full suss used by the wife and daughter is also good. Wifes actual bike is good, new tyres and tubes last week. Mine & Daughters jump bike has two flats 🙁
80% – that’s a good pass

13 out of 13 are ridable but the oldest, a 1st gen Giant XTC Team, has a slick tyre on the front for a reason I can’t quite remember. Seems a bit excessive as there’s only 2 of us

3 ready to go. But I’m stuck at home or work until Sat

5/5 although the road bike and Brompton would probably need a bit more air in the tyres as neither have been touched in well over a year. I think any of the 9 bikes in the household could be ready to ride inside five minutes. I clearly need to get out more !