I’ll start with… gloop 😀

7. They use 7.

clart

I think you’ll find it’s 26. Or 29. Sorry make that 27.5.

That’s it – 27.5 words for mud.

slop

Dubs
Gutters

crap

sharn

******* mud

2. ‘Mud’. Or if it’s really bad ‘**** mud!’
Not very articulate, but it’s usually the last thing I say when I lose all forward momentum on a steep climb because my back wheel is just spinning. The next expletive is directed towards spds if I haven’t managed to unclip in time…

clag

glaur.

have you glaured your bummel kcal..?

plastercine – for that particular mountain mayhem consistency….

I ride in Epping, so quagmire

I only seem to use “mud” and “slop”. For some reason, the yoof keep insisting stuff is loam- if it’s not a trailcentre gravel path or a load of boulders it seems to be loam.

grinding paste

cow mud

It’s that black churned up variety you get near byres and at the gates of cow fields.

I use as many as it takes to make the trail come alive.

Brown pow, braw!

We are told* that Eskimo’s have hundreds of words for snow so we really should be more descriptive.
Here’s some I thought of:
Minestrone – mostly water with bits in
Porridge – sloppy mud and leaf mulch
Readybrek – see above but finer texture
Plasticene – good for tyre tracks
…

Gloop
Clag
Slop
Mire
Spluge.
Clunge.
As in “I’m up to my jockeys in clunge”.

Loam is an order of magnitude drier and refers to
To an airy soil condition.

Tussock.

Um, just mud. Maybe gloop/gloopy, yeah “it was a bit gloopy”…but mostly just mud.

Slutch

Mwd

Squidge

Claggy.
Mire.
Shite.

Oddly some of these make hilarious replacements for the word “vagina”

“Life essence”

Crud.

Love

Peat.
Grime.
Cack.

Sluther.
I do like the word clart, my nana used to complain about my clarty hands (in very broad Cumbrian accent ) 🙂

clarts (plural)

We only tend to differentiate between ‘splashy mud’ and ‘claggy mud’
Is that too boring?

Bog

The claim that Eskimo languages have an unusually large number of words for snow is a widespread idea first voiced by Franz Boas and often used as a cliché when writing about how language may keep us more or less alert to the differences of the natural world. In fact, the Eskimo–Aleut languages have about the same number of distinct word roots referring to snow as English does.

Clarty (adjective)

Ground butter
Enduro foam
Whip retardant