I’ve got stepsons. Twins, aged thirteen and three quarters.

They smell, are surly and argumentitive and never clean up after themselves.

But they’re alright I suppose. I can’t say that I want any of my own.

janesy – sorry to hear that.. furry fingers are crossed for you.

Again we would love kids but cant… well 1 out of 3 goes of ivf icsi didnt work so again

If you ever want to bend an ear or ask a question please email me (in profile). We had exactly that – IVF with ICSI because of my under performing sperms and learnt lots along the way.

My 15 month-old son put our phone in the loo this morning. It still worked though, as it rang about three minutes later.

It was the Kent Police saying that they had just recieved an abandoned 999 call from our number with a childs voice in it.

I may have said something involuntarily at that point as my daughter then trotted into nursery before gleefully announcing that “Daddy said we were rubbish kids…”

So, in summary, mostly it’s great.

My partner and I just had our first baby 4 weeks and a day ago after being together for over 6 years.

Whilst it’s not for everyone I absolutely love it and would thoroughly recommend it to people thinking about it. I kind of think why didn’t I do this earlier, though I might still be in the honeymoon period!

I can’t get enough of holding her or watching Miss Sid care for her. Then there are the highs and lows of emotions in the first few days from the birth, the Dr’s thinking she might have some problems, then to be told she is perfectly fine, to having her stop breathing and turn blue whilst changing her our first night at home. Some scary moments!

I get this moment when I drive home from work and realise I’m going to see my daughter, it never fails to put a massive smile on my face!

Edit: best of luck to those that are trying. I can’t begin to imagine….

Not sure about other people’s kids, but mine are incredibly fabulous 🙂

I found the first bit a little trying, as did Mrs Grips. However Lil Grips #1 is now a great laugh. And she loves me to bits, which is great. You can’t go wrong when someone loves you as much as that 🙂

Without question the BEST thing I’ve ever been lucky enough to have done, is to be a father.

The even better thing is, I am going to be doing it every day for the rest of my life.

Been with Mrs R seven years, married five (to answer another question on here, yes defo believe in marriage) with 3 year old girl …who this week, has wanted to paint my face every night and I’ve let her… and a 13month old lad who has just started walking.

When I think of them, I’m the happiest man in the world.

I got to 36 before I managed to get Pregnant and have lost two in the last year ’tis not pleasant makes you feel a bit of a failure as a woman its not just men who feel that way and as another poster says you get ‘used’ to the fact you won’t have your own but it doesn’t go away 🙁

I guess I’m luckier than some as I get to play step-mum a couple of times and week then have the rest of the time to run round around naked having wild uninterrupted sex and drinking copious amounts of chablis knowing no-one’s prodding me in the face at 6am wanting cocopops….. 😆

Babies are rubbish, kids are great

and teenagers can be a real PITA

You can’t go wrong when someone loves you as much as that

You can’t go wrong when someone loves you unquestioningly as much as that

no-one’s prodding me in the face at 6am wanting cocopops…..

Fnarr! Fnarr! Snigger!

My two (it’s an old joke).

Last night my lad explained, correctly as it happens, the ending of The Iron Giant to me as only a 4 year old can. That was my “being a dad is brilliant” moment for the day. Can’t wait to hear what gems he will come out with this afternoon.

Got 3, love em to bits. We’d have a couple more if we could afford the space.

Mrs b dropped all 3 without any pain relief so I now know why she consistently out cycles me – incredible pain threshold. Did a 3 mile walk up a pretty decent hill whilst 5 cm dilated to ‘take her mind off it’, and delivered a home birth next day.

My favourite exchange (with then 4 year old eldest)

Me – handing out a bollocking in the effort to make him stay in bed:

Me: Look, it’s late, I’m in bed, Mummys in bed, and your brothers in bed so get back in to bed.

Him: Then why are you still dressed?

They are Grade A bullshit detectors in some respects.

Don’t ever kid yourself your life won’t change after the birth. Everyone does, and everyone is wrong. But it happens to agree with me.

Oh, been together 21 years, married 7 and had the first near 6 years ago. So we took our time 🙂

I turn 40 this month, the missus 32, and our first child is 7 weeks old. All fantastically good so far!

Ohh and this morning Izzi pulled my towel off me (having just got out of the shower) and squeezed the end of old John Thomas right on the helmet.

I think people in the next street heard my howl.

got a three month old son, i’ve been with mother ten years, it’s hard work but he is one cool, little, smiley dude. he’s learned how to laugh this week. which is awesome. so curious about the world, it’s brilliant.

All the cliches are true.

It’s much harder than you think it’s going to be, but you really don’t mind at all. Well, sometimes you do, but when you think about it later you don’t.

I’ve had some brilliant fun on my bike and doing naughty things, but have never been happier than when me and my three-year-old daughter are both laughing uncontrollably tickling each other.

my boy enjoying bathtime;

One of the funniest thing I ever hear is when soemone say just before a birth…’so are you ready to be a Dad then?’

How the **** are you supposed to prepare for the utter onslaught that ends the life you once knew I will never know.

I get this moment when I drive home from work and realise I’m going to see my daughter, it never fails to put a massive smile on my face!

If you ever see a gurning, breathless cyclist shooting down the chocolate path in Bristol, that’s me trying to make it home in time for my daughter’s bath.

37 when mine was born, love it by day, but hate it at night, sleep depravation is slowly killing me.

I was 22… 😳

I think people in the next street heard my howl.

LOL. Managed to avoid severe genital trauma so far, but I have been poked in the eye with just about every toy she has. Usually followed by a yelp, a very apologetic “Sozzy daddy” and a cuddle. Awwwhhh…

a gurning, breathless cyclist shooting down the chocolate path

I think we’ve all agreed that such topics are not to be discussed on the forum. Thanks. 😐

a gurning, breathless cyclist shooting down the chocolate path

I think we’ve all agreed that such topics are not to be discussed on the forum. Thanks

I did LOL at that one.

TJ to the thread!

One of the funniest thing I ever hear is when soemone say just before a birth…’so are you ready to be a Dad then?’

How the **** are you supposed to prepare for the utter onslaught that ends the life you once knew I will never know.
It was the most surreal moment of my life. I went home for something to eat after being told my wife would be ages and that I should prepare myself for a long night. Got back to her ready to give birth just an hour or so later. Then out popped our two girls (to the thunderous sounds of battle scenes from Gladiator playing on the CD player 🙂 ) and everyone just walked out and left us to it – we were just stood around looking at each other and thinking ‘is this it then’?

This was taken about an hour later when I remembered to take some pictures.

I then went home and sat in bed at 5am listening to the birds and watching the first morning light whist drinking a very large and very expensive single malt (from a bottle my mum and dad treated me to) – I had been saving the last of it as dad died when my wife was 3 months pregnant so never saw his grand children).

And now…

a gurning, breathless cyclist shooting down the chocolate path

I spat my tea out at that one..

From a rather different angle:

It’s good when your adult son comes down from London for the weekend to look after his silly mother who fell off her bike and ended up in hospital.

He didn’t even tell me off for riding a bike at my age either. 8)

I genuinely hated the period when our kids were babies. Not sure how close I got to clinical depression, but it wasn’t far away. My extremely adverse reaction to the lack of sleep, loss of control and removal of all peace were things I wasn’t fully prepared for.

People tell me I’m a good father; that may be true now that the kids are 11 & 13, but I was a poor example of parenting until they were around 18 months. Changed nappies etc, fed them, but I was an absolute misery.

Got a two year old boy, he’s amazing. Watching him figuring out how to do stuff he couldn’t do a coupla weeks ago never ceases to impress me. Bonkers..
I’ve been downtown at a few births now but the one that freaked me out was when the wee ones head delivered, and he opened his eyes, his head rotated and he looked right at me.. Freaky but I was concentrating on other things..
Had a good hold of a one week old a coupla days ago and made me proper broody.

I’m 41, have two – aged 12 and 10. Been with my wife for 21 years (met at uni). We were lucky that all has been pretty smooth, and my 12 year old in particular is getting a wicked sense of humour.

There was an article in the paper a few years ago that I thought was excellent – an extract below – it pretty much summarised my experience; hours of pain (for my wife), minutes of sheer terror, followed by joy. They were very worried about my daughter as she was being born.

The grim, brutal truth is that childbirth is that cruellest of combinations: it is stressful and it is boring. Childbirth is hours and hours of unceasing, teeth-grinding anxiety. It is also so tedious you will want to cry. The good bit is at the end. Partly this is because you have a gorgeous little baby who may look a bit like you. But mainly it’s because it’s all over. This is the great unspoken truth of childbirth. No one is allowed to mention it. Other fathers don’t say anything. You won’t either. It’s against the rules. And one of the reasons no one mentions it is that mothers aren’t supposed to know. They will know, immediately after the birth and possibly for a few months afterwards. But later they will forget. They are biologically compelled to forget, for if they remembered, they would never do it again. Do not blame them, for it is not their fault. It’s your fault, like everything else.

“I can’t cope”
She will say these words at some point as well. There will be terror in her eyes. For all her preparation, there will have been no preparing her for what labour is actually like. And she knows, and you know, that she can’t wriggle out of it now. So all you can do is reassure her, and love her, and tell her she’s wonderful and brave and strong, and she can do it. Ideally, fathers should be able to practise this flannel during antenatal classes. None the less, whether you realise it or not, a lifetime of watching Clint Eastwood films has prepared you for this moment. Narrow your eyes. Let your jaw become granite. Chew on a match if you have one handy. Say what needs to be said and show not a scintilla of weakness. It’s your strength she needs. Go ahead punk, make my day.

The birth
My own first thoughts were, “F***! It’s a baby!” God knows what I had thought had been in there all this time. Then, because my girlfriend had had pethidine, it turned out that the baby wasn’t breathing. The next six seconds were the worst six seconds of my life. My girlfriend knew nothing about it, which was just as well. But I could see the baby being taken to the resuscitation machine in the corner and brought back to life: efficiently, without panic, skilfully. I just stood there and watched it, unable to react or, indeed, breathe. Four … five … six seconds, and then the baby inhaled a gobful of glorious hospital air. And so did I.

By Marcus Berkmann by the way

Watching him figuring out how to do stuff he couldn’t do a coupla weeks ago never ceases to impress me. Bonkers..

Yeah like climbing onto kitchen worktops and getting knives out, scaling cots, opening stairgates… I am growing greyer with every passing second.

Babies are dull as dishwater and so are their parents. Oooh it smiled, ooh it said mama

Toddlers are epic fun in comparison. I find the way they mimic and negotiate to be facinating.

By Marcus Berkmann by the way

”Fatherhood: The Truth”? Excellent book. Highly recommended for new/recent dads.

Though “Crass, misogynistic, charmless” according to some of the 1-star reviews on Amazon. 😕

My lad is 3 and 4 months…. He’s wonderful…

But i’d swap him for a Carbon Giant 29er 🙁

Babies are dull as dishwater and so are their parents. Oooh it smiled, ooh it said mama

Toddlers are epic fun in comparison. I find the way they mimic and negotiate to be facinating.

All true.

There is that book called ‘You can negotiate anything’, there is a parenting book waiting to be written called ‘You HAVE to negotaite EVERYTHING’.

It’s the best! I have 9yr old daughter and very nearly 6 yr old son and been married 10 years. My boy has a natural inclination to ride, which has been thoroughly nurtured and encouraged.

Mind you the pending doom of teen angst is already rearing its head at 9 – now that’ll make me grey!

There is nothing greater than the love of a child or two to get home to IMO

I was 31 when we had our first (now almost 3) married a couple of years, together about 10. We would have started earlier but always though a few more years so I’m earning a bit more, bigger house etc. Needn’t have bothered as material things matter not a jot when your having fun with colouring in and glueing and sticking. That said, I’m sure it’s a lot less fun being a parent and proper poor.

I’m working from home today so get to have lunch with my terrors whilst they make a mess, wind up the dog and generally wreak havoc but I still sit back with a smug grin because I’m the happiest man on earth! Do it!!!

Our first was born last week, beautiful boy – named him Henry James…gradually getting used to the early hours feeds…he is simply amazing ! So many emotions you cannot properly imagine until you get handed that vibrantly alive little person bundled in a soft towel….oh by the way im 37…late starter as ever !

Babies are dull as dishwater and so are their parents. Oooh it smiled, ooh it said mama

aren’t you a little cutey?

Once out they are OK if you can get through the first 18 weeks years

🙂 😆

There fixed it for you 😉

Anyway had mine when I was 30, my wife was 25; we’ve a boy aged 16 and a girl aged 14. For me there is no one age\period better than any others, they’ve all got great moments. Take for instance now, last weekend did a 5K run around Arthur’s Seat with my daughter, absolutely fantastic, and it won’t be long before she beats me which strangely enough I can’t wait to happen.

I genuinely hated the period when our kids were babies. Not sure how close I got to clinical depression, but it wasn’t far away. My extremely adverse reaction to the lack of sleep, loss of control and removal of all peace were things I wasn’t fully prepared for.

I concur, though maybe not as extreme. The first 6-12 months were soul-destroying for me with my son (now 28 months). Toddlers are easier for me to deal with.

Interestingly I’m coping better with my daughter (coming up to 3 months), possibly because I know it won’t always be this bad!

I was a poor example of parenting until they were around 18 months. Changed nappies etc, fed them, but I was an absolute misery.

Yep, I went through the motions, paid the bills, cooked, washed etc… did everything the books told me to, but felt none of the ‘pentecostal’ outpourings of love and emotion I was expecting. Quite depressing really when I look back on it.

Oops, forgot to say – I’m 34, Mrs Peyote is 33 been together for 8 years, married for 3.