I know Christmas is not normally a low stress situation, but what does the hive mind think of this situation:

Mrs M currently a bit stressed and grumpy (not just with all the family and the whole xmas shenanigans) and in the morning her major present is a lovely carving axe. Now before you jump to conclusions this is exactly what she wanted, but the neighbours are already primed to take over on the cooking tomorrow if I have got it seriously wrong.

Is it just me, or is this a high risk present strategy?

Sounds high risk to me! One should get ones wife things she would like not things she needs. Count your fingers throughout the day!!

Have you found anything resembling an effigy of yourself?
#prayformanton69

She is curled up with a book, but I reckon it is a double bluff,

Take the edge of it just in case 😆

and in the morning her major present is a lovely carving axe.

The words ‘her’ & ‘axe’ give me the shudders.

I wouldn’t worry – SWMBO just opened 1 early pressie for xmas eve which was a kettle. I hope she’ll be thrilled by the toaster in the morning, or equally either of the two pans I’ve bought.

Anyways, it’s been a real chore to beat last year’s vac.

Been nice knowing you, etc…

I’ve got my wife two pairs of gloves, so I dare say I’m in the shit as well.

She is curled up with a book

Can I have your bikes?

Good man Joe maintaining standards