has anyone on here ‘conducted’ a humanist type ‘service’ for a dear friend- just need a bit of help and advice regarding some aspects, thanks.. you can post or pm me-

What aspect are you talking about – do you mean you want to conduct the funeral yourself, or do you want to organise a funeral and have someone conduct the service.

The guy that did my dads funeral was just the ticket, I could send you a transcript so you can see what ground it covers. Its quite a task to deliver something thats relevant to both the closest relations and more distant friends and family and I think the guy did it pretty well

This charity will give you advice on this sort of thing and are very good:

Natural Death Centre

(My wife used to work for them)

Their handbook is also excellent.

My mum wanted a Humanist service for her funeral. We found a local ‘official/Celebrant’ here:

BHA

The service was brilliant, very personalised and empathic.

We found a local ‘official/Celebrant’ here: BHA

The service was brilliant, very personalised and empathic.

Absolutely my experience of the same.

I went to one a while back, it was ace… I didn’t know the guy who led it, a friend of my friend’s, he said it was basically the best man’s speech he’d never get to make now.

The funeral director involved will be the one to speak to. He will have various contacts for humanist officiants in the area and will be able to advice you on the most person who would be best suited to your family.

My mate Stuart does this. He’s based in Brighton, he does travel, but I’m not sure how far:
http://www.uniqueendings.com/

a mate of mine wanted a humanist service. this was done but the service was a bit more of an advert for humanism than a service for a great bloke. good idea, but i’d speak to them first and make sure they understand that the service is for the departed, not the humanists.

thanx people for your help/advice– i’m going to hopefully conduct the service, but i was just wondering if anyone on here had done this. my mate took his own life under extreme circumstances(obviouslly) and i see my first ‘task’ is the elephant in the room —getting that off the agenda so to speak– he has a couple of teenage daughters, i want them to feel no guilt/shame regarding their dad’s demise… just wondered if any one had some similar experiences and how it was confronted— i feel that the times i have been to other funerals where suicide has occured it has been avoided, skirted round in a way that doesn’t feel right–slightly dishonest…on the other hand its not to be a preaching the other way… a delicate path i guess..

Rudebwoy,

I think conducting your first ever ‘service’ for someone close to you would be hard. Doing it with those difficult circumstances would be particularly tough. Personally I would pass the ‘service’ on to a professional – but of course get involved in the eulogy etc. If you really want to DIY it then i’d still be tempted to get involved with a professional who will be able to advise. I would also ask them to be there in the background just in case you can’t do it on the day (which nobody would judge you for). The worst funeral I have ever been to the person reading the eulogy broke down, seemingly taking the minister by surprise and nobody seemed to know what to do…

If for any reason you don’t want a Humanist but still want a non-religious ceremony there are other options, the funeral director will be able to point you to the right people.

i agree, it may go awry, but i feel that a personal touch is essential–but i take your point, and will ruminate on it –many thanks..