Left a fart in a lift?
Peed in a public swimming pool?
Knocked one out in the work toilets?
Left a floater in someone else's house?
Made someone else sleep in the wet patch?
Had a tactical chunder half way through a night on the lash?
Knocked one out in the shower at home, or anywhere else for that matter?
Floated a Mersey Trout in the sea?
Faked an orgasm? (Blokes can too you know!)
Crept out of the house before she woke up?
Told your mates to "avoid her…" then copped off with her yourself?
Peed in a sink?
Floated a silent trouser trumpet and blamed someone else?
Forgotten her name when you woke up?
Looked in to a female friends underwear drawer?
Got a semi on a topless beach?
Said you were full because the mother in law's cooking was so bad?
Touched cloth?
'Accidentally' gone up the wrong avenue…..?

Just wondering, like.

Yup, all of the above, except the Mersey trout one.

Does that make me bad or normal? 😈

Ha ha ha ha this could be the best thread i've read in a while, genius flash, genius!

LOL. No comment. 😳

Outrageous.

If you have:

Left a fart in a lift?
Peed in a public swimming pool?
Knocked one out in the work toilets?
Left a floater in someone else's house?
Made someone else sleep in the wet patch?
Had a tactical chunder half way through a night on the lash?
Knocked one out in the shower at home, or
anywhere else for that matter?
Floated a Mersey Trout in the sea?
Faked an orgasm? (Blokes can too you know!)
Crept out of the house before she woke up? Told your mates to "avoid her…" then copped
off with her yourself?
Peed in a sink?
Floated a silent trouser trumpet and blamed
someone else?
Forgotten her name when you woke up? Looked in to a female friends underwear
drawer?
Got a semi on a topless beach?
Said you were full because the mother in law's
cooking was so bad?
Touched cloth? 'Accidentally' gone up the wrong avenue…..?

Then
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And – which is more – you'll be a Man, my son!

Left a fart in a lift?
Made let someone else sleep in the wet patch? (depends who causes the spill – bit like Obama & BP really)
Knocked one out in the shower at home, or anywhere else for that matter?
Peed in a sink?
Touched cloth? (if it includes finding out you've got the splats)

oh, and…..

'Accidentally' gone up the wrong avenue…..?

you must have some very unwary/"accommodating" partners, flash. 😯 Or is it the rohypnol ?

Yes to a lot of the above and also:
fled to glasgow the morning after a rough rural conquest to avoid merciless ribbing.
cracked one off in a clothes shop changing room
walked in on two mates pleasuring another mate's sister and kept shtum about it.
skinny dipped with a hot belgian girl while my missus kept her undies on.
been propositioned by an australian lesbian(aqueised)
been propositioned by two australian men(declined)
broken tasmanian law regarding Oral sex.
Lost my virginity to my sister's mate

had a case of the sour apple quickstep and had to ditch one's shreddies in a public porcelain bus?

All but 2

Living up to my expectations is this. I'll keep popping back when i need a belly laugh. Once again flash, *applauds*.

😆 :@ bakes and slimtubing!

Super LOL at Graham S

Left a fart in a lift? Y
Peed in a public swimming pool? Y
Knocked one out in the work toilets? poo Y danger self gratification NO
Left a floater in someone else's house? vegan done it in everyones house
Made someone else sleep in the wet patch? yes
Had a tactical chunder half way through a night on the lash?N
Knocked one out in the shower at home, or anywhere else for that matter?Y
Floated a Mersey Trout in the sea? number 2 in sea? NO
Faked an orgasm? (Blokes can too you know!)No
Crept out of the house before she woke up? never had a one night stand
Told your mates to "avoid her…" then copped off with her yourself? N
Peed in a sink?Y
Floated a silent trouser trumpet and blamed someone else?Y
Forgotten her name when you woke up? N see above
Looked in to a female friends underwear drawer? FFS NO- PS hora no need to answer we know
Got a semi on a topless beach? N
Said you were full because the mother in law's cooking was so bad?N she was a great cook awful woman but good cook.
Touched cloth?No
'Accidentally' gone up the wrong avenue…..?
Y – I was young I was very drunk I did not even realise she did though.she objected.

anyyone else brave enough to answer?

Yes
Yes
Yes
Not aware of doing so
Yes
Any chunder means the night is over
Duh
No
Shoulda done, but pumped on regardless
Don't recall doing so, but perhaps
Thought about it
Aye
Nah
Dunno
Afraid so
Not just topless
No
Yes
I've knocked on the wrong door by mistake, yes, but any openings were by invitation only

Happy now?

Yep and then some….i reckon puking in the babies cot has got to top that list.

Yes to all but one.

What tyres for being a real man?

And I wonder how many "Realman" has done?

Not quite 100%, but i reckon i scored a grade A in this test :D.

Seems like a good thread to make my first post on the (long) revised forum.

Yes to all but 2.

EDIT: make that 3. I dont have a mother in law.

FYI, the correct terminology is 'mersey goldfish'… 😉

15 out of 19 not saying which tho! 🙄

Graham S, I salute you. And 15.

Left a fart in a lift? – Yes
Peed in a public swimming pool? – Yes
Knocked one out in the work toilets? – Yes
Left a floater in someone else's house? – Yes
Made someone else sleep in the wet patch? – Yes
Had a tactical chunder half way through a night on the lash? – Yes
Knocked one out in the shower at home,or anywhere else for that matter?Yes
Floated a Mersey Trout in the sea? – No
Faked an orgasm? (Blokes can too you know!) – No
Crept out of the house before she woke up? – Yes
Told your mates to "avoid her…" then copped off with her yourself? – Yes
Peed in a sink? – Yes
Floated a silent trouser trumpet and blamed someone else? – Yes
Forgotten her name when you woke up? – Yes
Looked in to a female friends underwear drawer? – No of course not!(yes)
Got a semi on a topless beach? – No
Said you were full because the mother in law's cooking was so bad? – No
Touched cloth? – Yes
'Accidentally' gone up the wrong avenue…..? – Yes

Plus:
When i was a car salesman i used to drop a stinker then make them hang around to smell it! The look on they're faces was priceless!

Describe car colours with funny names in front and say it really quick so they were never sure if they heard it or not, eg, bawbag blue, baloon knot brown, boner black.

Added flavour to your mates pint/bosses coffee cup by the stealth art of porky tanging! Ill not go into too much detail but it involved the unbuttoning of trousers!

Truely disgusting gentleman (and ladies)..
of course, i never did any of the above..it was a "friend" who answered the questions.

I've done the majority of them. My "tactical chunder" happened at the end of the night though whilst everyone was asleep, I left it in the middle of the living room. Nobody is still any the wiser as to who it was, and I got away without having to clear up a massive pool of sick. Success.

Have I ever 8)

That was just my normal day at work yesterday!!

genius thread

yes to 14 of those, again I'm not saying which ones 😉

Only 5 of them. Most of the "no"s are to do with farting and shitting, so quite pleased to have a low score.

Brilliant thread, its good to know my levels of depravity are simply average!

One to add, from a colleague over beer last night….

Said colleague used to work in the bathroom fittings department of a large department store. On being asked by a female customer where the toilet seats were, he would take a step back, look at the rear of the aforementioned lady and pronounce, "I think Madam is a "large", so let's see what we have in stock"

Genius!

Loving the responses/honesty/incredulity here!

lol GrahamS, well done sir.

every single dam one matey……………….
and some far worse………………………… 😉

I remember playing a game where you had to write down a confession then chuck them into a big pile. As they were read out you had to guess who's confession it was. First one out of the bag:

"bedside draw completely full of w*nk tissues found and removed by mother"

Quality. And no. It wasn't me.

Just had a good old roam down memory lane thanks to that lot.

8)Oh Yes! 8)