Have you ever been the victim of an 'unwanted/inappropriate sexual advance'

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  • Have you ever been the victim of an 'unwanted/inappropriate sexual advance'
  • woffle
    Member

    Yes
    But then everyone in the 80’s was a peado weren’t they.
    Never should have walked back from Scouts late at night in the dark on my own.

    We had a scoutmaster who was a bit ‘funny’. Apparently, his thing was for tickling boys feet. In the end, he tried it with one lad who gave him a bloody nose and reported him. I think this was back when presumably working with kids was a little more relaxed when it came to background checks etc.

    At my secondary school it was standard for teachers to be dating sixth formers (early 1980s). By the time I’d gone to university I think there were three male staff, and one female who’d been caught in various levels of abuse. The worst was the psychopatic swimming teacher who used to spray ice cold water up your back as you swam lengths. The music teacher was reknowned for having young boys sit on his lap to learn to play the piano. He also used to invite groups of teenagers around his house to drink.

    Premier Icon fatmax
    Subscriber

    Really sad to read some of the genuine assaults, and then in typical STW fashion also some genuine lol moments.

    Played a lot of tennis as a kid. Playing a tournament at the Northumberland County Ground one year (I’d be about 15) one of my pals invited me to play real tennis at the nearby school grounds. Coach there was an obvious weirdo and started asking lots of ‘what’s your sexual experience’ questions and was way too touchy feely with my pal. Thought it all a bit weird and inappropriate but managed to ignore him or palm him off. Two years later and this is front page news in Newcastle and the guys a paedo / sexual predator and went down for a chunk of time for all sorts of weird sexual stuff with teenage kids.

    First week at Dundee Uni and it’s Freshers Week and Gaudie Night where a girl from the year above takes you out on the piss. Long story short, the hot girl female tennis captain dropped me in it last minute and I got taken out on the piss by a ‘less bonny’ lass. Lots of booze and cocktails and the last thing I can remember is crawling up the steps to my room with her in tow with me absolutely paralytic. I wake up naked with her naked on top straddling me…trying to stuff my flaccid cock inside of her unsuccessfully. Definitely not consensual but obviously able to laugh it off as harmless.

    Has JHJ resurfaced with a better explanation of his OP?

    sweepy
    Member

    I spent a bit of time working on a dementia ward. On the upside it’s nice that there is somewhere I can go and still get called ‘young man’ On the downside those old ladies can be a bit handsy.

    ctk
    Member

    Got groped in a club once- I assume by a man. Someone grabbed my bolx and walked off quickly, I was so off my head I didnt see them!

    Whilst Eurorailing an American girl got onto my top bunk with me and started trying to shag me- I was drunk/asleep and really didnt know what was going on! I said “what are you doing, get off” or something like and blocked her advances. I likely would have been up for it if she’d asked me nicely!

    sofaboy73
    Member

    Back in the 90’s when I still worked in the music industry, Jimmy Somerville quite forcibly offered me a blow job when we were doing coke in the toilets – let’s just say he’s not a “small town boy”. Does that count? I refused, always wondered wether I should of said yes as a massive ex communards fan?

    sbob
    Member

    I work in a pub.
    Always inappropriate, often unwanted.
    And frequent.

    Premier Icon epicyclo
    Subscriber

    You realise you have crossed the great divide from young and hot when you no longer get that sort of attention.

    That’s when any flirtatious remark you make becomes an unwanted/inappropriate sexual advance.

    tjagain
    Member

    I had an interesting reverse sexual harassment once. I was working in ITU where its either very busy or really boring. During one of the boring times I was asked by one of my female colleagues to walk across the room and turn around – I did then realised 4 of them where looking at my bum making lewd comments. I walked back over to them and told them very forcefully how inappropriate it was, asked how they would have felt if the roles and been reversed and threatening them with being reported. I went absolutely ballistic. The shock on their faces as they realised what they had done was actually quite funny.

    I didn’t take it any further but all 4 of them would have been disciplined had I done so. However the look of shock and realisation on their faces was enough for me.

    Has JHJ resurfaced with a better explanation of his OP?

    I can’t go into too much detail, but suffice to say, everyone’s responses here highlight that it is something that happens with both genders, though for whatever reason, there does seem to be an inherent difference as to how it’s handled.

    Now I’m no prude… I’ve had my gubbins groped in the street by a little bloke in Nicaragua (not a euphemism) a Ladyboy on Bangkok, and multiple drunken ladies back when I was a rickshaw rider; there was even one time when 3 pink PVC clad glamour models were trying to stick their fingers up my bum before getting their paps out for the paps when we pulled up to glitzy London nightspot China White. I think back on these situations and think it’s kinda funny; it doesn’t feel particularly abusive.

    However, some of the situations that have developed as a result of the matters mentioned in the 1st post do feel highly abusive. I’ve tried time and again to remedy things and have been repeatedly fobbed off and scapegoated, when at the end of the day, it wasn’t even me who set these things in motion.

    The best outcome would be to settle these matters amiably, as there’s far too much bad shit going on in the world as it is.

    johnx2
    Member

    nope, none the wiser.

    fatmax

    “but managed to ignore him or palm him off.”

    must… resist….

    “but managed to ignore him or palm him off.”

    Beyond the cheap gags, another spin on out of context quotes…

    No doubt many victims in abusive situations are ignored, stonewalled, gaslighted and all the rest of it; perhaps it gives the abuser some kind of twisted power trip. Not that great for instilling trust or cohesion though…

    Tom_W1987
    Member

    when 3 pink PVC clad glamour models were trying to stick their fingers up my bum before getting their paps out for the paps when we pulled up to glitzy London nightspot China White.

    MrSmith
    Member

    I wake up naked with her naked on top straddling me…trying to stuff my flaccid cock inside of her unsuccessfully. Definitely not consensual but obviously able to laugh it off as harmless.

    You have been the victim of attempted rape.

    geetee1972
    Member

    It’s interesting to contrast this thread with the #MeToo thread.

    This is glaring evidence that the problem of harassment and abuse is neither gender specific nor equally treated.

    To all the men on here who have been brave enough to post their experiences I salute you.

    Premier Icon mikewsmith
    Subscriber

    geetee1972 – Member
    It’s interesting to contrast this thread with the #MeToo thread.

    This is glaring evidence that the problem of harassment and abuse is neither gender specific nor equally treated.
    As you are keen to use the stats, compare it to the mumsnet one the forum is full of blokes – I think even the womens saddles/clothes threads are mostly populated by blokes.

    Nobody is denying that there is a problem with harassment and abuse of men at all. But to say the problems are equal is just untrue, the number of people who have posted #MeToo on social media shows how massive the problem is.
    Given the number of times the words get used to it or learn to deal with it come from women it shows just how big the problem is. Also the way the world is still run by men, powerful positions are still mostly held by men and casual sexism is alive and well all over the place along with misogyny women face a huge up hill struggle still in what is supposed to be an enlightened time.

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