Have you ever been the victim of an 'unwanted/inappropriate sexual advance'

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  • Have you ever been the victim of an 'unwanted/inappropriate sexual advance'
  • Premier Icon scotroutes
    Subscriber

    Yes.
    More than once.
    Kilts were involved.

    Also another time when I was 16. A classmate walked home with me on the last day of term and then she tried to talk me into letting her into my house for sex. I turned her down.

    She appeared at the school one day in the following term. Pregnant.

    doris5000
    Member

    another quite well known female MTBer began using certain unconventional methods to capture my attention; to start with, I kinda figured it was a wind up as a result of inside knowledge of the 1st incident and tried to convey the silliness of it all, considering I’d been recovering from injury and was far from my best.

    Pete: I got into bed, settled down, I was just about, you know, reading “The Swiss Family Robinson”.

    Dud: Good, ain’t it.

    Pete: It’s a lovely book, Dud, a lovely book – an’ I got up to about page 483, second paragraph, when suddenly – ‘bring, bring – bring, bring’.

    Dud: What’s that?

    Pete: That’s the ‘phone, going ‘bring, bring’. So I picked up the ‘phone, and – you know who it was?

    Dud: Who?

    Pete: Bloody Betty Grable. Calling transatlantic, bloody Betty Grable – I said, ‘look, Betty, what do you think you’re doing, calling me up half-past eleven at night?’ She said ‘It’s half-past two in the afternoon over here’. I said, ‘I don’t care what bloody time it is, there’s no need to wake ME up’. She said, ‘Peter, Peter – get on a plane, come dance with me, be mine tonight’.

    Dud: I thought it was the middle of the afternoon?

    Pete: Yes, what she probably meant was ‘be mine tonight tomorrow afternoon our time’.

    Dud: No – didn’t she mean tomorrow afternoon – er …

    Pete: Anyway, ‘Be mine tonight’ she said – I said, ‘Look, Betty – we’ve had our laughs, we’ve had our fun, but it’s all over’. I said, ‘Stop pestering me, get back to Harry James and his trumpet – stop pestering ME’ I said. I slammed the ‘phone down and said ‘Stop pestering me’.

    Dud: Shouldn’t you have said ‘Stop pestering me’ BEFORE you put the ‘phone down?

    Pete: I should have, yes …

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    At least we know where smell_it’s username comes from now.

    johndoh
    Member

    She appeared at the school one day in the following term. Pregnant.

    Christ Alive! Does your sperm have telepathic abilities?

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    I’ve been sexually assaulted at work.

    On STW? 😉 8)

    Premier Icon The Wrong Trousers
    Subscriber

    Yeah, twice, both times from other blokes when I was a kid 13 or 14 or so.

    First time on a train somewhere round Clapham Junction. One of those older trains that had compartments that only had doors on the outside at each end so you could only get in or out by getting on or off the train. Got on the train, another bloke already in there. As soon as the train started moving he whips out the old todger and proceeds to give it a right good seeing to. Which was nice.

    Then a time at Paddington station, went to the gents, stepped into a stall and sat down. Shortly after I hear someone do the same in the next door trap. Then about a minute later a note comes under the dividing wall “is there anything I can do for you” written on it. Kecks up, out the door.

    God, there’s some pervs out there. I’ve never been the same since.

    smell_it
    Member

    At least we know where smell_it’s username comes from now.

    😆 I had already had one dirty sausage that day! I must admit I didn’t hang around long enough to inspect his knob hygiene standards.

    bikebouy
    Member

    Ah Yes, this I can relate to..

    Loooong time ago in a far off land (Essex) I used to travel up there to meet some friends I’d made on the sailing circuit, a small group from a sailing club up there.

    Anyhoo’s there was a small Pub that we all used to meet up in, have a few beers, curry then pop around the corner to the outbuilding attached to the pub to listen to “Essex Finest Rock Bands of the Day” as one does.
    I’d been going up there about 6mths and there was a decent large group of us, about 20 or so.. mixed half and half boys/girls and the inevitable hanger’onners that came and went..
    One evening, late Summer and we’re having one of those evenings when a girl seemed to take a fancy to me, as expected being the handsome chap that I am. The evening went well, too many beers for some and a couple for me and it’s time to head back home.. I was offered a lift by the girl and off we shot down and out of the village.. and carried on past my mates house.. so I asked “hmmm.. where are we going?” “I thought we’d have a nightcap at my place” and my eyebrow raised about 20mm.. so we get there, lovely place overlooking the harbour and set in a loft above a boat shed.. I thought to myself “oh, niiiiice” as we pulled up into the small drive way the car halted suddenly and then barely stopped when she pounced upon me.. full face into my lap and her hands and tongue entering places only fit for me to hold/use/utilise.. clambering for air and space I reached for the door and opened it, to this end her leg and skirt upended and she’s now wearing the skirt as a necktie and her legs are preparing for take off, still gasping for air and now she’s undressing me and groping and gasping and it’s getting all claustrophobic..and take off seemed seconds away….

    Well.. I did take off.. actually I ran as fast out of the car and down the lane as humanly possible, being a fit bugger I didn’t stop and barely out of breath before I realised I’d probably ran about 2miles in about 40 seconds..
    The last I heard was ringing in my ears ” Hey, where are you? where have you gone? whats wrong? “why don’t……..” and that was it.. its all i heard as I was legging it down the road.

    2mths or so later and we’re back in the pub, (having recounted the experience to my mates about a week later after the event) and she walks in.. she walked directly over to me and planted a massive snog on my mush and said loudly ” thats what you missed, you must be Gay”
    Well, the place erupted and beer spat everywhere and as she walked out lifted her skirt and showed me and the pub her bare bottom, without pants.

    A moment in time I’ll never forget, one that i still laugh and get embarrassed about to this day. Each and every time I recount it I get met with two distinct retorts: 1) that I am actually Gay for not taking her up on the offer of a sordid night of sex and 2) that I got away just in time and she was a little desperate to pick on me.

    It’s a curse being so damn handsome…

    The second time my best mate accused me of flirting with his then Girlfriend, he being extremely insecure and she being a right randy mare they were made for each other. Good looking and fit she was, very well off and in a job that only he could ever dream of entering the foyer of.. One too many occasions of her grabbing may arse, my privates in the pub or restaurants, undoing her blouse and flashing her tits, talking dirty and on one occasion rubbing something slimy on my lips..
    God, awful time.. how do you tell your mate she’s just some deranged sex manic on the prowl and after me..

    Anyway he punched me in the face one night after a crazy argument started by him over me approaching his girlfriend.. and I retaliated, had enough and blatted it all out.. he reverted to type and punched me out.
    That was the end of that friendship and last I heard he’s working for Mark Warner Holidays working his way through the seasons fresh interns for the impending season….

    I don’t want to bring down the whole tone of the conversation here, but the choice of wording by the media is terrible!.

    Since when was a rape allegation called an “unwanted sexual advance”?

    Worse than those “a person was injured after a car hit a tree” absent driver news reports.

    Stevet1
    Member

    Drac – Moderator
    I’ve been sexually assaulted at work.

    Assuming that’s a serous remark, I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you got the support you needed.

    doris5000
    Member

    Since when was a rape allegation called an “unwanted sexual advance”?

    I think the rape allegations came in later. for several days this was a story about ‘unwanted sexual advances’.

    Which in turn was probably just the only wording they felt they could use without leaving themselves open to libel proceedings…

    bikebouy
    Member

    I’ve just read this page and at the top of the tread and found this:

    Drac – Moderator
    I’ve been sexually assaulted at work.

    That Sir is shit. I hope you found some recourse for the action or at least came to terms with it..

    DrJ
    Member

    Not really sure of the point the OP is trying to make though…..

    Nor me, but it made me think …

    Moses
    Member

    Yes, a few times. I used to hitch-hike a lot in the 70’s (it was a standard way of travelling then, youngsters) and the hand on my knee wasn’t that rare. Usually there was nothing more than that and a few requests. You learn to turn them down gracefully, I suppose in the same way that women learn to cope with gropers.

    Premier Icon aracer
    Subscriber

    Adam wrote:

    Not really sure of the point the OP is trying to make though…..

    I’m wondering if we’re supposed to be playing guessing games.

    Premier Icon tomhoward
    Subscriber

    I wish!

    Not sure it falls under ‘unwanted’ if you wish for it eh?

    forzafkawi
    Member

    Love these threads…

    I wonder if some of the experiences related would not have been rebuffed if the circumstances had been different i.e. not in a relationship (OP) or maybe a bit older and wiser and able to deal with things a bit better?

    mrmonkfinger
    Member

    I’ve had my drink spiked, along with several others present at the same house party. Funny it was not.

    tang
    Member

    Yes, I’ve been sexually assaulted twice as a teen by men. I also as a child ended up in the house (it’s a sad story involving a vulnerable lad I made friends with one summer) of a infamous pedo ring, amazingly I escaped untouched. However, the memory of that day chills me to the bone even now 35 years later. Trapped and powerless is true fear.

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    No not STW and yes I was serious.

    No I didn’t take any action against them, I should of but I did that I’m a bloke thing.

    I was thinking, no I’ve never been the victim of an unwanted sexual advance, and then my mind drifted back to my merchant navy days and the lady boy incident in Singapore 😆

    woody71
    Member

    A few times at uni and work.

    Most were the usual groin grabbing “your body mine tonight…” moment by various girls but the most unusual – and scary for an 18 year old away from home for the first time – was a bloke during my first term at uni. who hadn’t been anything other than a straight brummie football fan.

    Anyway I had just been out for a ride on my bike and had come back and left my bike outside my room in halls of residence while I was getting changed.

    When I returned I caught him sniffing my saddle followed by a attempted pass along the lines of “have you ever seen a grown man naked” and dropping his towel!

    I’d probably p*ss myself laughing these days but at the time I was literally scared stupid.

    Premier Icon Tiger6791
    Subscriber

    Nope, but I am fugly and fat and not a very nice person so it’s not surprising.. 😀

    Premier Icon vinnyeh
    Subscriber

    In my home town there were underground public toilets in the main square.
    When I was about 13 or 14, one day I got caught short and had to use them for a dump. Was sat down on my seat contemplating life looking at the floor when a hairy backed hand comes snaking under the wall from the adjoining cubicle with neon pink painted fingernails. I was absolutely terrified, life in 1970’s small town NZ didn’t really prepare you for this sort of encounter . Sat there for a few seconds, heart racing then stood up, stomped on the hand with all the force I could muster, pulled up my pants fast as I could, unwiped arse and all, and ran for the stairs.

    Still haunted by this today- the hand was a **** shocker.

    Edukator
    Member

    Yes but it didn’t require more than “I’m flattered and that’s very kind of you but… no” to disipate. More men than women and one male when I was underage. It affected me so little that is was only when reading through others’ experiences above it came back to mind. A female colleague was more insistant than she should have been but it never got nasty. And now I’ve remembered a truck driver when hitch hiking than came very close to a jack-knifed arctic on the motorway, so perhaps it did require more than words just once.

    In response to Jive’s opening post a good friend used to service a very well-known roadie cyclist’s wife while the rider was away racing. My mate’s wife found out which precipitated an overdue divorce but I’m pretty sure the roadie and his wife are still a couple.

    Premier Icon bodgy
    Subscriber

    Yes; from my mother when I was about 13. It was during my parents divorce (I lived with my father), and I didn’t immediately understand what was happening, but felt very uncomfortable and had to escape.

    I’ve never told anyone about it before. Never really saw the point as frankly it’s quite humiliating, and still makes me feel nauseous. Easier to blank it out.

    Suffice to say, I don’t see her anymore – been happily estranged for years now.

    nerd
    Member

    I was propositioned twice by a colleague while travelling for work. The first time we were in India and she told me she was in an open relationship and would I like her to visit my room later that evening?

    The second time was in Zurich with much the same, she also told me she usually hooks up with people at conferences.

    She was very clear in her intentions but I just did the usual thing of pretending to not hear it.

    It was never a problem, though, and we carried on working together for another couple of years and we see each other sociably occasionally. She’s nice and I probably would have if I hadn’t have been (and still am) in a not-open relationship!

    Edukator
    Member

    At risk of getting a ban I’ll add a photo. Back when wearing lycra for climbing was the done thing I used to boulder on Sitges beach. Sitges at the time was a gay resort (perhaps still is) with its infamous street of sin and groups wandering the beaches on the pick up. I soon learned that bouldering without Madame for company created more spectator interest than I was used to, I could have made a fortune! Well how much?

    Having typed “Sitges gay bar” into Google images I can confirm that nothing has changed. If you feel uncomfortable being eyed up and propositioned by people of your own sex it’s not the destination for you.

    loddrik
    Member

    No, but I always fancied goosing Cyril Smith.

    choppersquad
    Member

    Bodgy you’re a brave man to admit that on forum.
    I only hope that the mental damage it must have done to you will get easier eventually. Maybe this will be the start?
    Hope so.

    Premier Icon bodgy
    Subscriber

    Choppersquad – Thanks, bud. Nothing brave about it though really; what happened happened. Can’t argue with the truth and all that. I’ve had a dysfunctional relationship with my mother ever since she left, in another life it might have been different.

    More important is to remove the stigma. You can’t argue with the truth, only move on.

    Premier Icon dirtyboy
    Subscriber

    Me and a mate were mucking around on some waste ground, aged around 12-13 years old and we found some sort of shelter, thought it would be glue sniffers only to discover a naked bald fat man who asked us to join him whilst he was (adjusting himself) .. We politely declined his offer and retreated then we went for a “shock and awe” style of barrage using stone’s bricks and bottles.

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    At risk of getting a ban I’ll add a photo

    🙄

    Bloody hell some of you really have experienced some awful things. I do hope you all look at getting some help. 😐

    Premier Icon bodgy
    Subscriber

    At risk of getting a ban I’ll add a photo

    Ban him. It’s pink lycra.

    Edukator
    Member

    Have smiley: 😯 , it’s too late to add one with an edit.

    Premier Icon iainc
    Subscriber

    Too traumatised by nobeer and perchy to pass comment… 😀

    I’d heard they were both easy bets so thought I’d take my chance, now I feel shunned 😛

    Premier Icon aracer
    Subscriber

    Edukator wrote:

    At risk of getting a ban I’ll add a photo. Back when wearing lycra for climbing was the done thing I used to boulder on Sitges beach. Sitges at the time was a gay resort (perhaps still is) with its infamous street of sin and groups wandering the beaches on the pick up.

    You’re not fooling anybody by suggesting your choice of clothing wasn’t deliberate.

    teasel
    Member

    This photo made me chuckle.

    You first view it whilst scrolling and think “Oh, high mountain free climbi… Nope – 2ft.”

    Sorry, J. 🙂

    tang
    Member

    I did have to do a bit of work to move on from my experiences.
    At least the ads are keeping up

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