Hard b'stid

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  • Hard b'stid
  • cynic-al
    Member

    We all know some internet hard-men are, well..well-hard!

    However, it seems to me that even the toughest forum-member might have a hard time when locked in a cage with certain animals.

    But which animal is the hardest?

    I vote Baboon, cos it looks hard. Extra points for posters who have fought with any animals. And won.

    Premier Icon firestarter
    Subscriber

    well strangly my profile states i enjoy wrestling bears ;-0

    KINGTUT
    Member

    Bored Al?

    Premier Icon Pook
    Subscriber

    Stirling Moss. He's hard as nails.

    cynic-al
    Member

    Yes Mike. I feel like throttling a Meerkat, if I'm honest.

    Pigs. Strong, fast and can make a mess when they bite you. I fought with one and won. Have the scars to prove it too.
    How many points? 😆

    squin
    Member

    Pook – Member
    Stirling Moss. He's hard as nails.

    Not as hard as the bottom of his lift shaft 😉

    Premier Icon solarider
    Subscriber

    There's only one way to find out……….

    mudshark
    Member

    Sheep wresting is fun – so warm and cuddly….

    scuttler
    Member

    Stirling Moss – definitely. A baboon couldn't do the voiceover for Roary the Racing Car neither.

    Bike time.

    TandemJeremy
    Member

    A baboon stole my breakfast once. Checky fecker it was.

    For hardest animal I vote Hippo. cuddly looking vegetarian that kills loads of people every year and is bullet proof.

    I am permanently scarred from a spider tho – I didn't even see it it but It made me ill for weeks and left a permanent scar

    Premier Icon bruneep
    Subscriber

    fookin hate Llamas, evil animals.

    Premier Icon solarider
    Subscriber

    OK, I conceed. Weasels win hands down.

    TandemJeremy
    Member

    Weasels are dead hard for their size – pound for pound the hardest for sure.

    Kuco
    Member

    Honey badgers well ard b'stards.

    Premier Icon solarider
    Subscriber

    Although, I did discover the biggest spider I have ever seen behind my workbench at the weekend. I am still recovering.

    I am not ashamed to say I had to squash him. It was him or me I tell yer! Rehoming him was simply not an option. Firstly I didn't have a box big enough, and secondly he didn't look keen on the idea.

    As a complete aside, how old does your average UK spider live for to get that size (about the same circumference as a tennis ball and bulky with it)?

    dickydutch
    Member

    Swans as the hardest bird surely? I only ever antagonised one once….

    Premier Icon robgarrioch
    Subscriber

    Mind you, even Aliens wouldn't last 10 mins in the Aussie outback..

    Premier Icon miketually
    Subscriber

    Swans as the hardest bird surely?

    They can break your arm!

    Kuco
    Member

    They can break your arm!

    Has anyone ever met anyone who's had their arm broken by a swan?

    Premier Icon miketually
    Subscriber

    Has anyone ever met anyone who's had their arm broken by a swan?

    Of course they haven't, but everyone knows it's a true fact.

    Kuco
    Member
    coffeeking
    Member

    My 4 ferrets are pretty damned hard. They'll take on a dog 10x their size without hesitation!

    Has anyone ever met anyone who's had their arm broken by a swan?

    No, but I know someone who was bitten (pecked!?) by a swan, knocked him to the floor and left half his thigh black and blue!

    inigomontoya
    Member

    Lions are pretty tough

    Lions vs 42 midgets

    Marmoset
    Member

    Honey badgers…rip you nuts off, it would….

    duckman
    Member

    Honey Badgers, they get stuff all over while stealing honey.Then go back,not for more honey,just to piss off the bees a bit more.

    tinribz
    Member

    Wolverine's are just big badgers, they even scare the sh** out of wolves.

    mudshark
    Member

    Has anyone ever met anyone who's had their arm broken by a swan?

    I was once bitten by a duck – as big as me it was.

    Mark 84
    Member

    My old border collie got headbutted by a goose. Got her right between the eyes. Never heard a dog yelp like that before.

    Marmots. Vicious monsters.

    bullheart
    Member

    Tasmanian Devil.

    Quite simply, as hard as it gets.

    The 'Roy Shaw' of the animal world.

    iDave
    Member

    the honey monster would kick three strips out of a mere honey badger

    What about the Drop Bear? Nasty little blighters!

    psychle
    Member

    What about the Drop Bear? Nasty little blighters!

    I was once attacked by a drop bear, was walking through the bush minding me own business, when wham, I was knocked to the ground by something falling from above… I always thought drop bears were mythical bullshit animals to scare kids and pommy tourist with, but **** me if it wasn't one trying to gnaw down on me neck! Strewth mate, I was in trouble! Luckily I had me knife on me, not a pissy one like that tosser 'Crocodile Dundee' shows in his movie (don't get me started on him!) a real knife, you might call it a machete? Anyhoo, I whipped it out from me dacks and lopped the buggers head off… could've been real bad, but in the end I got the better of that prick and skinned him to make some Ugg boots out of for me sheila… that scored me a root too, so all in not a bad fuggin day really 8)

    True story cobber…

    psychle
    Member

    Ah **** it, Crocodile fuggin Dundee… he ain't hard, he's a pansy.. those Yanks came over to my home town out in the boondocks looking for a hard bas'tid to work with them in some documentary they were looking to make, they came to our town cause they heard the hardest Aussies of all lived the, but we was all out chasing pigs and roos, that prick Paul Hogan (what a **** pretty boy he is, never chased a thing in his life, apart from another man perhaps…) anyhoo, he was the only one in the pub when those Yanks arrived and he managed to pass himself off as a tough guy and some sort of genuine Aussie hard nut… unbe-feggin-leviable that they bought it, I mean look at his knife, it's tiny! he was drinking a rum and coke on the night as well… coke for fecks sake! real men just swig from the bottle yeah? 🙄

    psychle
    Member

    on a serious note… I'd nominate the 'Box Jelly Fish' (Chironex Fleckiri): an amorphous blob of jelly that drifts around ensnaring fish and prawns, but if you get stung by it, you are well and truly fecked my friend (unless you have vinegar handy, or a friend who can piss on you…)

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