Hmmm.
I think the time has possibly arrived.

Currently very long and grey, matched with the full Santa/Karl Marx beard.
However, I think it’s time for a change.
Been like this for 5 years now and I’m getting a bit fed up with it.

Not falling out yet, but I’d rather go out on top, as it were, rather than be that bloke with a slice of ham on the back of his head.

Grasp the nettle and go for it?

If so, what haircut for the 50 year old rotund gentleman in shorts and a fleece?

Ever regretted a scalping?

All advice and mockery welcome.

Quick, before I change my mind……🙂

Zero all over.

I don’t have your gazelle like athleticism.
I’d look like Uncle Fester.

Technically not a scalping, but in my youth I decided to dye my hair “corvette red” after an afternoon in the pub. That bit was fine.

A couple of months later I went for a hair cut and decided I wanted my hair dyed peroxide blonde. 🙄

The hairdresser cuts my hair then applies the peroxide and leaves me alone for an hour. She gets me into the chair to rinse the peroxide off. As she’s doing that she asks “err, have you had anything in your hair recently?” I explain I dyed it myself months ago but it should have grown out by now.

Apparently not. Instead of peroxide blonde, my hair was now baby pink as the previous red dye interacted with the peroxide 😆

You don’t realise what a pain in the hoop the inconvenience of having hair is until you don’t have it and you’re free

Shave it off and buy a hat for days when it’s cold.

I did once. But it grew on me…….

It’s half way down my back, not quite reached the hoop yet.

But yeah, I’m fed up with it getting in the way.

You don’t realise what a pain in the hoop the inconvenience of having hair is until you don’t have it and you’re free

This is so true!

90 seconds with the clippers every two weeks. Job done.

Not a cut but when I was 15, I bought a bottle of Summer Blonde thinking I could go from dark brown to platinum in twenty minutes.

I burnt my scalp and ended up looking like Damien Lewis.

Never really regretted anything I have done with my hair from long ‘heavy metal’ hair through to highlights, mullets, dies, short cuts, curtains, new romantics styles, back-combed etc etc etc.

It’s hair. If you don’t like what you do, it’ll grow again.

Are you planning on keeping the beard?

Le numéro deux, sur tout, s’il vous plaît Jean-Pierre.

Eeeeeeeeeeek!

Mais vous avez dit “deux millimètres” monsieur …..

Je ne regrette rien!

Are you planning on keeping the beard?

Oh yes.

But probably a bit shorter and tidier. 🙂

Long time ago now, but I went from long hair down my back to a short(ish) cut with a longer spikier bit at the front. My niece called me Dale Winton and since then it’s been a no.3 all over (when I can be bothered).

I went directly from hair half way down my back to a number one all over, at the first sign of slapheadedness.

Pop round to ours at the weekend Pete and we’ll get the clippers out and livestream the scalping 😂

Yeah, right!

No way am I letting you anywhere near me with a blade, sunshine. 🙂

I’m off to t’barbers this afternoon.
Wish me luck.

Not bothered a toss what my hair looks like as i had my previous hair cut around xmas time last year, i’ll prob get it cut in the next couple weeks as i keep having to snip bits off, not fussed who does it or where i go so the first place that has an appointment will do me fine

Never regretted cutting the hair on my head…  #thatsallImsaying

amazing in this day and age there is no tonic to stunt hair growth. be amazing if you could go and get a really nice cut at a decent barbers, then just pause it there so it stays just right until you decide to change it!

you cant get your hair chopped for less than £20 in London, but i dont really begrudge them because they put so much time and effort into it – even though it ultimately looks no different to a mad mick’s 5 minute special with a fag in his gob!

You don’t realise what a pain in the hoop the inconvenience of having hair is until you don’t have it and you’re free

Shave it off and buy a hat for days when it’s cold.

This.

I chopped off my ponytail on a kayak trip in France and then shaved it to number two.
On my return I greeted the wife wearing a hat with the ponytail wedged underneath. Then when she turned away I took hat and tail off and chucked them away
She got a mighty shock.

Long hair is a pain. Get rid

i dont really begrudge them because they put so much time and effort into it

We had a client many moons ago that was a hairdresser to the posh womenfolk of Harrogate and he freely admitted that they took a long time over all the pampering etc so they felt like they were getting good value but they could do it all so much quicker if they wanted to.

Every month for me, two back and sides with a chop off the top. My usual barber is so busy as she is so good, only a tenner and you get a good chat. If can’t get her i then go for the two all over, quite extreme at this time of the year but quickly grows but head feels like action man

I’m facing a similar dilemma.

I came to terms with the fact I’ve got more than a bit of the old male pattern balding fairly quickly, I’m 42. Thankfully I’ve got an M head and not a sunroof, so to speak (so far anyway).

I’ve never liked the idea of just giving myself a ‘zero all over’ – for a few reasons

1) I’m as pale as a Ginger’s arse, so I look like a cross between a concentration camp victim and Uncle Fester.

2) It’s right up there with People Carriers and wearing slippers in the whole “I no longer care, I’ve given up” look in my book.

So far I’ve stuck to a ‘short back and sides’ side parting, but I’m mindful of the ‘fringe’ or as the girl who cuts my hair says “the bit at the front” It’s starting to look like I’ve trying to cover it. That’s the worst thing for me, I don’t my the receeding hairline, I’ve been grey for 15 years so that’s not a problem, I don’t want to spend the next 5 years sleepwalking into a comb-over, if I ever catch myself in the mirror and think “**** a duck, the last 15 hairs on my head at 15cm long and I’ve gluing them to my dome, fooling no one” I think the shame might kill me.

Me too. My wife and all my mates are under orders to let me know the moment they spot scalp.

No signs yet, but I am just not willing to risk it. 🙂

Not any more. Every shave is an improvement on yesterday.

I did once have an accidentally ethereal pseudo-sharkie (which is functionally like a comb-ever,yet more diaphenous and optimistic)

Road to enlightenment anecdote:

Cut my head open one day and gf shaved the crown to treat the cut. Realised at that point that may as well keep going as she politely informed me that the crown ‘didn’t seem to need shaving’ 🤣

It’s right up there with People Carriers and wearing slippers in the whole “I no longer care, I’ve given up” look in my book.

I’d actually dispute this. Unless you stay on top of it you start to resemble a grim roll-call of former Tory party leaders. So…

Hasn’t been shaved for a week – William Hague
Hasn’t been shaved for 2 weeks – Iain Duncan Smith
Hasn’t been shaved for 3 weeks+ – Michael Howard

Nobody wants that. I do my bonce every few days so my head always resembles a bowling ball 😀

And surely nothing says “I no longer care, I’ve given up” than an obvious slaphead with a slapdash haircut and a slice of ham in the middle of it. NOTHING says I’ve given up more than a combover

bit of the old male pattern balding fairly quickly, I’m 42

#doublehumblebrag

Impressive

I suspect there are a few posting on this thread who keep their helmets on in the pub. You’re fooling no one.

NOTHING says I’ve given up more than a combover

So wrong. The delusional tryhard is the definition of ‘NEVERAMGIVINGUP, NOTNEVER, NU-UH!’

What you see is not what they see.

And surely nothing says “I no longer care, I’ve given up” than an obvious slaphead with a slapdash haircut and a slice of ham in the middle of it. NOTHING says I’ve given up more than a combover

Oh I don’t know, keeping a combover going is a full-time job of combined maintenance and denial. You can’t work that hard and give up at the same time.

But, it’s only a personal thing, I don’t judge my fellow folically challenged man. I’ve 2 balding friends who favour a home cut with a pair of clippers. They seem to rock it, but I’d look a right state.

I suppose the major sticking points is the pale skin and greyness, oh and I’ve got a simply MASSIVE head, honestly if I try to wear a normal person beanie hat it looks like I’m on my way to Temple.

They seem to rock it, but I’d look a right state.

You just need to own it. It’s a state of mind.

I think when I was about 8-ish I thought it would be a good idea to get rid of my somewhat girlish curls, and get a proper man’s haircut, so got the Barber to give me a grade 2 all over, I was so shocked afterwards I couldn’t look in a mirror for a few weeks!

Do my own now, so if it looks terrible, there’s no-one else to blame.

Yep I hate having longer hair, it’s made worse by the fact that my hair is quite thick. On the other hand The couple of times I’ve gone full Grade 0, I’ve looked like a Nazi scientist (Skinheads with glasses just look odd), but a grade 2 or 3 isn’t really a ‘proper’ buzz cut there’s still a little hair there to make you look normal-ish but it can’t really lie wrong or get messy…

The acceptable compromise I’ve settled on is Grade 3 every 4-6 weeks, sometimes grade 2 in summer.
My missus would dearly love me to get a styled haircut of some sort, but I can’t be doing with the maintenance…

Buy some clippers, buzz the top of your noggin grade 3, you can grade 0 your face for that rugged manly stubble look while you’re there, Job Jobbed… Get on with your life for a few weeks.

I’ve been getting progressively shinier up top in recent years. I would quite happily shave the lot off and be done with it but the missus seems desperate for me to hold onto my youth.

She also tells me I have an Alien shaped head so will look ridiculous if I shave it off.

I did have no2 all over when I was young until my nan said I looked as though I was going to mug her.

It is done. 🙂

Short back and sides with the beard squared off, but still pretty long.

God, I feel better……

1985. Headington, Oxford.

Little old lady did whole cut (shortish) with a cut throat razor. Just wtf.

If so, what haircut for the 50 year old rotund gentleman in shorts and a fleece?

Anything else would be wrong.

*edit- too late. Now you’ll have to go full grey wigard!

Go to a good barber and get their opinion because the shape of your head and the growth pattern matters – with a beard, hair looks better with a proper cut IMO

That’s what it looked like before.
The hair anyway. Longer if anything.
Slightly shorter beard.
Not quite as grey.
I’m serious……🙂

That’s what I did Ed, just took their advice.

Very happy with the result.

Little old lady did whole cut (shortish) with a cut throat razor. Just wtf.

My mum ( a hairdresser) used to cut our hair with an open razor until I was a teenager.