When I were a lad…

… advent calendars had 24 (more on that later) little windows, behind which was a picture of a robin, or a snowman or something, and the final window, which was on the 24th December, because that’s when advent ends was a double-sized one, behind which was a picture of Icklebabyjesus in a manger.

It was not some ridiculous thing with 25 compartments, in which are chocolates, or mini whisky/gin bottles, or beauty products, or Lego. Oh, and it was for children, not infantile grown-ups.

When I were a lad:

No-one said ‘ickle’ 👿

There was also no Chris Evans, instead we got make our own torture-devices from blackboards, nails, and bits of rusty old fencing.

No meant no, with an actual full-stop. (‘Can I have a bag of crisps?’ – ‘No.’). Nowadays it’s pass a family-size mega bag of crisps and a gentle suggestion to ‘not eat them all my little prince/ss’

You could ride a bicycle on the road and not be thought of as a weird outcast, ‘in the way’ obstructionist or other somehow ‘special case.’

A drink of water from the tap would quench a thirst of a hyperactive teenager before he/she ran back outdoors to hang out with friends, walk to town, do some sports etc. No requirement then for endless cans/plastic bottles of expensive caffeine-rich ‘energy lifestyle drinks’ littered around the bedroom floor of a listless recumbent teen mainlining war games on an X-Box

lego calendar has 24 but i’m not sure if the jedi/sith celebrated christmas..

You can think whatever you like. I start each day with a bag of pork scratchings, and you don’t!

So I win! 😛

I start each day with a bag of pork scratchings

Don’t we all.

Scratching my pork maybe.

When I were a lad we made pistols out of old lead piping bent over at one end for a handle , hole in the top for the fuse ..gunpowder from splitting a banger which was poured down the inside ..then topped up with those round pellets which could be found at the side of a railway line ..all to defend our bonfire from being raided on Guy Fawkes night which were monstrous affairs back in the day and built weeks beforehand ..we were little bastards and those “pistols ” were lethal ..thankfully we never had to point them at anyone ..did I mention the 6″ nail feathered arrows we made …

Chocolate advent calendars I can cope with. No more.

An elderly neighbour brought a traditional one round for our two girls though (ie, with pretty pictures and nice messages) and they love it.

No such thing in my day…

I was given this years advent calendar by some Jehovas Witnesses. Every door I open just has two more Jehovas Witnesses behind it.

As the Jedi lived a long time ago in a far away galaxy, so they’re pre Xmas

Eeee by gum.
When I were lad we had phone books, yellow pages and phones had dials.
We had to write a letter not email and we had to look in the local free paper to get the times for the cinema.
We had to use a payphone or give ‘3 rings’ when we wanted picking up from the cinema.
We had to arrange to meet our mates at a certain time and if they were late we just had to wait.
We had VHS toploaders that you had to thump down to insert and the remote had a wire!
We had to rent videos from a video shop and it cost £4.50 a night!
We had music cassettes and the top 10 on a sunday, which we used to tape to listen to in the week.
TV used to finish at back of midnight with the national anthem! (LOL) and we only had 3 channels.

No such thing in my day…

Blimey Oldman – born BC? 🙂

Always thought there was a market for November advent calendars.
Everyone seems to get in the Christmas mood the second Halloween is over anyway. Would just need to be a normal one with some more doors. Instant new market!
My girlfriend and her flatmate have been blabbing on about Christmas for weeks now.
I’ll think about it once my exams are done and I’ve finished all the DIY I haven’t had a chance to do cos of uni. So about December 23rd then

In our throwaway society nothing seems to last as long as it used to except Christmas which just goes on forever.

When I was a wean we had….

No internet to complain about the new fangled advent calendars.

and Invacars.

it was all a bit shit to be honest.

Our Christmas stocking consisted of some nuts, a Satsuma & some chocolate money.

There was a program on the other day, saying the average cost of presents in a kid’s Christmas stocking nowadays is £120!!

In my day we didn’t have days

In my day, every day was like Sunday. I have since discovered that this was all because of immigrants

And you try tellin’ the kids of today…

We had VHS toploaders that you had to thump down to insert and the remote had a wire!
We had to rent videos from a video shop and it cost £4.50 a night!

In my day, if we wanted to record something off telly, we put a portable cassette player in front of it, sushed the room and pressed play/record.

Our Christmas stocking sock consisted of some nuts, a Satsuma & some a Terry’s Chocolate money Orange.

+1. And real brazil nuts. In real brazil nut shells. And a real Terry’s Chocolate Orange. Not the new US-style takeover, titchy, hollowed-out, chewy palm-oil sugary fat choco-like ‘satsuma’ thing. Not mine. And it’s not Terry’s. It’s an American fake fatsuma. Not unike that other c***.

Kids and adults these days cry and wail and threaten to call lawyers if they don’t get a stocking filled with the latest iPhone. I was happy with home-made pickled onions. Now even my generation buy themselves endlessly upgraded and replaced hi-tech gifts spoils in order to somehow distract selves from the all-pervasive sense of emptiness in this lonely anti-social-media filled, bubble-bound, polluting alt-reality called modern life.

No. I don’t want another device that is nothing but a bloody electronic window into fake clickbait Celebrity/BMW/Apple/Daily Mail/BrexitTrumpworld that became now became the bigger reality. No. Keep your big fake plastic Chinese slave-labour stocking. I’ll take a REAL conversation, in a REAL grotty pub, with some real cheese, real beer, and real PICKLED ONIONS made by a real person. And then I want to share some melting chocolate money. In front of a real fire. With the RADIO on. The RADIO. With DIALS. with real friends. Standing around a piano. Singing. Falling over drunk. Dancing on our smartphones with clogs on.

Yep. That’ll do.

Regards,

Grumplestiltskin.

We had to rent videos from a video shop and it cost £4.50 a night!

We had to carry our Furguson Videostar to my mate’s house with said videos and copy tape-to-tape using some cables my dad made up then sell the really ropey quality videos around school 🙂

I’m sure we didn’t have as much homework as our 9 and 11 year old boys have, poor lads.

nobody moaned about the minutiae of everyday existence on the internet.

nobody moaned about the minutiae of everyday existence on the internet.

No – I moaned about it on Ceefax

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGusHCv2mKc[/video]

When I were a lad, you were lucky if you only got typhoid for Christmas.

All the poor kids down our way got cholera.

No – I moaned about it on Ceefax

Bamboozle too tough for ye, eh?

Always thought there was a market for November advent calendars.

You’d definitely sell many thousands of these even just as joke gifts. Start just after Halloween.

Or the luxury option, one with 364 doors on it that starts on boxing day.

When I were a lad every year we received an Advent Calendar from Hermes (the swanky goods retailer) and every door lead either to a silk scarf or gold watch or belt or jewellery in the shape of horses..
My, it was dull.

Bamboozle too tough for ye, eh?

There’s an app for that.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.tvmobile.android.bamboozle&hl=en_GB

https://itunes.apple.com/ae/app/bamboozle-the-classic-teletext-quiz-game/id384407005?

And speaking of which, did you know Digitiser is still going?

https://www.digitiser2000.com/