I’m in an open plan office and the big fat b**tard behind me burps all the time and it’s  grim

I’ve asked politely and now subsequently less politely for him to stop but he continues to do it. He has a ‘strong’ personality and has no problem suppressing the burps when in meetings so I’m drawn to the conclusion that he’s just purposefully being a twunt

Bombers? Shoes?

Anyone taken down one of these buggers in an office war before?

Tell him it makes you uncomfortable, do it by email so you’ve got record of it. If he continues to do it file a complaint with hr, explain you’ve asked repeatedly, that it makes you uncomfortable and that you’ve told him as much but that he continues to do it so you’ve come to the conclusion he’s doing it because it makes you uncomfortable so you think he’s doing it to bully you.

That or ignore him.

Get him to recite the alphabet whilst burping. If he gets past M then he is a burping legend and should be allowed to continue with nothing but respect.

It’s downright bad manners.

Does he have some sort of condition? If not and it’s that bad raise a formal complaint.

Down two cans of Dr pepper in front of him, and belch right in his face. I mean right in his face, inches away, while staring him in the eye😀

come to the conclusion he’s doing it because it makes you uncomfortable so you think he’s doing it to bully you.

Given the OP felt the need to body shame the burper online maybe it’s he who is the bully…

Sounds familiar, our BFB farts loudly as well, and as a line manager (not mine) is a bully. He had a heart attack 18 months ago (dreadful diet, smoked, stressed to the gills) and that bought him some time and sympathy, but its starting to wear thin again!

I just embarrass him in front of other work people, including visitors, by joking openly about his boorish behaviour – it does curb his most excessive behaviour, and has made him realise he’s out of step.

If he’s producing that much gas he must be highly flammable, possibly explosively so

Can you not set fire to him?

Find some grim disease which creates excess stomach gas and leave a leaflet about it on his desk every time he leaves the office.

Given the OP felt the need to body shame the burper online maybe it’s he who is the bully…

He’s tall, rotund and a b*stard, i’m providing an accurate description for you all

For the record i used to be a hefty 20st and didn’t burp openly in public like this.

Cycle into work and leave your wet sweaty cycling gear hanging next to his coat.

Or try to find out what really annoys him and start doing that, see if others agree with you and get them to start doing whatever it is that annoys the burpy bloke as well.

It’s a personnel issue, they are paid to sort out these things.

Does it say something about me that I read this about ‘Burping contest’ and immediately thought of my old mate Chugger who could rattle the panes in the windows when he let rip.

I can respect a good comedy burp, just not a from-deep belch when i’m trying to speak to a contractor on the phone

Just out of interest is he called Steve and from Oldham?

We had one of those a few years back. He would roar away in the office, but was polite as a Princess in front of customers or our German colleagues. A total lack of respect anf utter contempt for those who had to share a space with him. His nickname was “The Pig”.

I shall call Mr Derek Starship, of this parish, to this thread as he really did hate him with a passion.

Hmm I’m trying to imagine how annoying office burping would be, I just have to put up with a couple of smokers that cough loudly and frequently along with the whole phlegm clearing sounds that make me want to scream

Drink loads of real ale and curry and get payback the next day ?

Really depends on the office environment. That would be wholly inappropiate in any of the places I’ve worked in (professional, corporate offices) and that would not be allowed to happen. The smallest of complaints would have dealt with that quite quickly

I guess the ongoing fart/burp contest in our office is out of the ordinary then?

Surely the simple answer is just to proclaim loudly, every single time he does it…..

”Oh FFS you manky FB. Have you no manners?”

or similar denigrating words

Loudly. Every. Single. Time.

Do you use the phone much?

Perhaps you could say to his manager that you had a client complain because fatty arsebiscuit was letting rip in the background?

Or

Record one of his louder outbursts, then play it on loop at high volume until he gets the message?

I shall call Mr Derek Starship, of this parish, to this thread as he really did hate him with a passion.

I still hate him after six years away from the odious goon.

His belching was purely contemptuous. Basically, he hated the staff, the management and board, the processes and procedures and probably the product but didn’t have the nuts for  confrontation. So to demonstrate his scorn, he would recline his office chair and burp loudly without apology. He had quite a repertoire. Some burps were deep,  like a male lion roaring. Another one sounded like a shovel being dragged along the pavement. All were borne from his appalling diet of pastry products, chips ‘n’ curry, crisps, corned beef and fizzy drinks. He was a bachelor and sank dozens of pints at his local boozer.

An odious prick who wore a faux leather jacket exactly the colour of a Caramac bar.

A faux leather jacket exactly the colour of a Caramac bar?

I’ve never met him Derek but I now hate him too. The bastard!

odious goon

I knew that you would do a better job of summing him up. That jacket was made of cockroaches IIRC.

Some of his belches were like a post-coital Brian Blessed trying to equalise pressure.

A faux leather jacket exactly the colour of a Caramac bar?

The cruel monster!

How many fauxes had to die to make that jacket?

Sounds like he was a Gene Hunt

open plan office? Could you not just move desks?

open plan office? Could you not just move desks?

That was often suggested. His, and to the car park.

I work from home.

I’m my own grim colleague.

(Recently released a trouser trumpet of such ferocity that I had to leave the room for a while.)

(Recently released a trouser trumpet of such ferocity that I had to leave the room for a while.)

Put your slippers on and went outside for a piss?

How would you feel if the burper was a lithe pretty young lady?

How would you feel if the burper was a lithe pretty young lady

That’s a bit niche.

Aroused

That’s a bit niche.

Rule 34

How would you feel if the burper was a lithe pretty young lady

It would still be grim. Aesthetics aren’t the issue here, they sit behind me

I’m not sure someone with detestable behavior can be pretty Angel.

I’m not sure someone with detestable behavior can be pretty Angel.

Imagine just how pretty they would need to be to counter act the belching

Imagine just how pretty they would need to be to counter act the [continual deliberate] belching

I mean, they’d have to be ten times more charming alluring than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I’m saying?

https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/health/jeans-stop-your-farts-smelling-2118588

An article from Afghanistan – must be true