Gone too soon

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  • Gone too soon
  • alwillis
    Member

    Found out today a guy I know through the local road scene was found dead at home in the early hours of Wednesday by his girlfriend. He was two years younger than me (I’m 26) and a promising 1st cat, just signed for a new team this year,

    I’ve never known anyone my age pass away (only grandparents which is sad enough) and it’s hit me really hard, even though I would think of him as an acquaintance rather than friend. Part of the issue is that at the moment there is no reason given (under police investigation/ post morgen) and I’m sure more details will come out in due course.

    Just posting because I don’t want to make a fuss in real life- his girlfriend is in bits etc and like I said I’m not that close, just wanted to vent that life doesn’t seem fair sometimes!

    goldfish24
    Member

    It can be a real shock when anyone you know dies. My condolences to you and all his other friends and family.

    Talk it out with friends. It can seem an odd thing to raise in conversation with friends, but it really helps us all to talk.

    Premier Icon jimdubleyou
    Subscriber

    Sad to hear that. Never fun.

    When I was at uni one off our course (about 30 of us) said, statistically one of us will be dead in 5 years.

    No idea if the stats were right, but he was – one guy died of cancer in his early 20s. Long time ago now, but still sad. Poor bloke.

    Premier Icon SaxonRider
    Subscriber

    I am sorry to hear that, alwillis, and sympathise with you. Such suddenness, even when it happens with someone who is only a peripheral friend or acquaintance, can hit quite hard.

    Be well, and keep talking.

    rene59
    Member

    Sorry to hear that. I lost a colleague around about a similar age to suicide. That was the first friend I knew that passed away outwith elderly family. It was quite a shock and left me with some questions. As above talk to someone about it. It’s good to share thoughts and experiences sometimes.

    wiggles
    Member

    Sorry to hear that 🙁

    I had a colleague suddenly die overnight once, left work one evening and then her mum called the next day… I left that office a few days later so never found out what happened.

    wiggles
    Member

    Sorry to hear that 🙁

    I had a colleague suddenly die overnight once, left work one evening and then her mum called the next day… I left that office a few days later so never found out what happened.

    pondo
    Member

    The thing is, death’s so bloody permanent, isn’t it – we all know it intellectually, but it’s different when it’s someone you know, or it’s someone your age, kind of brings it home. Sorry for your news, it knocks you about – I called and arranged a telephone conference with a customer last week, lovely lady, bright and breezy. Called her the next day for the conference and reception she she wasn’t available, I thought they just assumed I was some sales dude they were trying to put off and said that I had an appointment, and it turned out the poor lady had died unexpectedly overnight. You never know.

    munrobiker
    Member

    That is awful news. 8 hope you bear up well, but remember that even if you’ll weren’t close it’s ok to be affected by it. Death is a sad thing and you’re allowed to be upset by it.

    Five years ago the guy I did 24 and 12 hour races with was killed in an avalanche. We were both 24. One day he was alive, the next he wasn’t. We were really close and I remember getting up in the middle of the night and crying. Then a couple of days later I had to pull my van over to have a meltdown in a layby.

    I was sad about the potential lost, but at his funeral all our mates were together and we had a great party and it made us all realise that the fun doesn’t stop. While his memory lingers, he made an enormously positive impact on our group of friends and so life can go on.

    Good luck over the next few weeks.

    bwfc4eva868
    Member

    Sorry to hear that. Not nice especially so young.
    Unfortunately lost two of my best mates quite young.
    One died in Theatre after a motorbike crash, he was only 19, slipped on some gravel on the Cat and fiddle and bike smashed his pelvis.

    Last year my best mate who I’ve known since primary School had a heart attack playing five a side he was only 31, left behind a 3 year old son.
    Didn’t make his funeral, as Muslims I believe get it done within 48 hours.

    sbob
    Member

    alwillis – Member

    Just posting because I don’t want to make a fuss in real life

    You’re in the best place.
    You can’t prepare for stuff like this, but we’re all here for you.

    xxx
    sbob.

    Premier Icon somafunk
    Subscriber

    Sad to hear that alwillis but if you’ve made it to 26 without experiencing the death of a friend of similar age (or even someone you know of) then you’ve been very fortunate to be spared the dumbfounded shock that hits you, if I could offer any advice then don’t bottle up any feelings no matter how trivial you consider them to be, talk about it to your friends and family if need be.

    I found out at lunchtime yesterday that a somewhat old mate/aquantice who I last saw just before Xmas died on Wednesday, unfortunately from an overdose which is hard to come to terms with as its just so **** tragic and utterly needless. He hadn’t touched it for a good few years but had recently split from his wife and obviously took it hard and turned to his crutch, I’ve lost far too many mates over the years who’ve succumbed to the lure of heroin (7 so far 😐 ) .

    alwillis
    Member

    Thanks for all the replies- I wasn’t sure if I should post or not, but figured the life experience on offer in here would come up with the right things to do!

    As sad as I feel, I can’t imagine how his family (his dad also rides in the same club) are getting up everyday this week to carry on. His dad is still talking about riding the marmotte in his memory (they both rode last year and were going to do it again), which I think is an appropriate way to remember someone young and healthy.

    Premier Icon simmy
    Subscriber

    Sorry to hear what has happened OP

    I lost a good mate when I was 9 years old, he was 12. Nearly 32 years on, I still think of him when I walk near the place the accident happened.

    You have done the right thing by posting on here. STW is fantastic at helping with advice etc

    Premier Icon nickc
    Subscriber

    Sorry to hear, sounds awful. I was visiting my grans memorial gardens a while back and there was a grave stone with two dates on it that were far too close together, thrown from her horse at 19.

    young death always seems so much harder to bear.

    spekkie
    Member

    Mrs Spekkie worked at a company in SA with a 22yr old receptionist. Lovely girl called Bridgette. She went into hospital “not feeling well” and over the course of a week or so her organs shut down one by one and then she developed pneumonia and died.

    Her mum has devastated as you can imagine.

    alwillis
    Member

    Just to update/ vent a little. Went to the funeral today.

    In many ways it was a good day- we organised a Monday lunchtime clubride to the church, filled about 30% of the place with people in Lycra, and all the local clubs and teams were represented. Both his favourite bikes were gleaming at the front of the church. His dad and girlfriend then lead a ride out from the church down to his home village, crossing the finish line of his home road race as we reached the pub. Good memories of last summer and a rider at the height of form.

    I’ve never sat through any service as gut wrenching though. He was two years younger than me (24) and his girlfriend was super strong, reading a lengthy eulogy full of riding anecdotes,  school stunts and grown up milestones. Riding home from the pub alone was very cold and windy on the eyes. The same roads he trained on for years.

    Sorry to share such a downbeat post. But wanted to describe it, and hopefully it spurs me and others on to live life while we can…

    Premier Icon cloudnine
    Subscriber

    Very sad to hear.

    Just to add that another young talented endurance cyclist Lee Fancourt sadly took his own life a few weeks ago.

    https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/funeral-gloucester-cycling-hero-lee-1221391

    Ride in Peace both.

    chowsh
    Member

    alwillis,

    Glad to hear the funeral went off as planned and there was a good turnout. I couldn’t make it but had heard and was a bit shocked. Saw him win the race last year as I was marshalling, sad that one so young and fit has gone.

    Premier Icon martymac
    Subscriber

    That sounds like a good send off for the guy, glad to hear everything went smoothly.

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